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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Oct 28, 2009 14:40:31 GMT -5
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Nov 1, 2009 23:00:13 GMT -5
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Post by xara on Nov 1, 2009 23:07:35 GMT -5
It sounds like you have a good husband who wants a partner not a doormat. Good.
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Post by lattelaura on Nov 1, 2009 23:10:35 GMT -5
My husband got frustrated with me too when I went through my "trying to be a submissive meek wife phase." It was just not my natural personality at all.
Thankfully I never read that "Created to Be His Helpmeet" book. I had a couple of other submission books on my list back then including "Me, Obey Him?"
I'm glad that your hubby didn't buy into all of that stuff!
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Post by arietty on Nov 2, 2009 4:48:07 GMT -5
Reading this makes me wonder.. why do so few males notice their Pearl-reading wife putting aside her own interests and turning into a doormat? Do they just like it so much they don't say anything? Are they so disconnected from their wife as a friend and equal that they don't notice?
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Post by aussiemama on Nov 2, 2009 5:24:57 GMT -5
It made me so mad that he couldn't tell what I was doing. I was so frustrated that it wasn't working and that he didn't like it. According to the book, he was supposed to like it! Most of my friends read the Pearls, their husbands think it is a great book.
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Post by bowiemom on Nov 2, 2009 6:38:25 GMT -5
I never read Debi Pearl's book, but I did read some other, similar, books. My husband basically told me, "I didn't marry a submissive woman, I don't want a submissive wife, STOP IT!"
Gee, I love that man!
I've come to suspect that is it men who are insecure in their manliness or abilities or authority that demand their wives (and children) be submissive doormats.
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Post by redheadedskeptic on Nov 2, 2009 8:15:17 GMT -5
I could never figure out why those Biblical principles never worked for me, either. Even now, people blame it on me: I wasn't submissive ENOUGH, I wasn't strong ENOUGH. It wasn't that the system was bad, but that I was bad or, if they're generous, then the people around me were bad.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Nov 2, 2009 11:06:39 GMT -5
I once had a so-called Christian counselor tell me that my husband's depression was caused by my lack of proper submission. Later we found out it was a chemical imbalance caused by a tumor on his parathyroid glands!
And this is back when I was trying to be submissive. My husband hated it. We had so many fights about it when I was trying so hard to live up to that false image of a 'good Christian woman'. He had much more wisdom than I did on this subject it turns out.
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Post by mompom on Nov 2, 2009 16:42:55 GMT -5
My husband was another man who had no desire for me to be submissive. We're just nice to each other. That's it.
I had a discussion with some pro-submission friends recently, and they all thought that submission was necessary when the husband is a jerk and the only other option is divorce. They thought that women were happier living with a jerk than getting a divorce. I'm pretty sure that isn't true, but am I wrong? I've never been divorced.
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Post by margybargy on Nov 2, 2009 17:47:03 GMT -5
Calulu, Holy Schnikeys. I'm glad somebody finally figured out what was wrong. Poor guy and poor you.
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Post by rosa on Nov 2, 2009 22:25:30 GMT -5
You're not wrong, Mompom. About the guys not noticing the personality switch...a bunch of them were probably raised with parents whose marriage was separate sphere, submissive wife. Even if they weren't religious. So it might seem normal to them. And then I think a lot of people raised with strict gender stereotypes have a hard time seeing the person under the gender - they have this Generic Woman or Generic Man concept that they can't even see the person who deviates from what they expect.
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Post by jasmine on Nov 3, 2009 19:04:07 GMT -5
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