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Post by sargassosea on Nov 5, 2009 8:19:10 GMT -5
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Nov 5, 2009 11:14:52 GMT -5
Great post, Hopewell.
I still live with my parents, and they're alright ... but lord does this living arrangement drive me freaking crazy. I could only imagine how infuriating it must be for those poor girls who don't get married really young to be stuck at home with parents who won't let you go hang out with friends, work, go to school, go see a movie or concert, just go for a drive ... or anything. I don't mind doing some stuff to help out around the house (hey, if I help make the mess I should help clean it up) but if they expected me to clean everything and make all the meals I would leave so fast. My heart really goes out to the poor girls who are stuck living that way. It's so freaking wrong.
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Hillary
Full Member
"Quivering Daughters ~ Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy" Now Available!
Posts: 129
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Post by Hillary on Nov 5, 2009 11:19:04 GMT -5
I love how you work WITH her--not against her.
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Post by rosa on Nov 5, 2009 11:58:17 GMT -5
The combo of the "keeper at home" thing and the weird Early America/founding fathers fetish the Vision Forum folks have totally makes me want to buy a million copies of historian's works on how families *actually* worked in the 17th & 18th century in the US. The world where young women went out in the world as bonded servants or contract workers, where they generally had their own home-based enterprise (chickens, honey, sewing) and kept the money & came & went as they pleased & often didn't tell their parents about their love lives til they got engaged to marry - there's a great book called "The Bonds of Womanhood" taken from diaries of women in that era in New England that I feel should get added to the reading lists of any of these people who have homemade Redcoats in their back yard to shoot at or dress their girls up in crinolines and bonnets & go to Colonial Williamsburg.
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Post by hopewell on Nov 5, 2009 12:49:38 GMT -5
I note that Abigail Adams often excruciaingly honest letters to her hubby are rarely, if ever, mentioned by VF.......
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Post by bowiemom on Nov 5, 2009 12:49:56 GMT -5
The combo of the "keeper at home" thing and the weird Early America/founding fathers fetish the Vision Forum folks have totally makes me want to buy a million copies of historian's works on how families *actually* worked in the 17th & 18th century in the US. The world where young women went out in the world as bonded servants or contract workers, where they generally had their own home-based enterprise (chickens, honey, sewing) and kept the money & came & went as they pleased & often didn't tell their parents about their love lives til they got engaged to marry - there's a great book called "The Bonds of Womanhood" taken from diaries of women in that era in New England that I feel should get added to the reading lists of any of these people who have homemade Redcoats in their back yard to shoot at or dress their girls up in crinolines and bonnets & go to Colonial Williamsburg. Would you mind sharing the author (or a link) for this book? It sounds interesting.
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Post by rosa on Nov 5, 2009 13:07:23 GMT -5
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Post by Angelia Sparrow on Nov 6, 2009 22:09:16 GMT -5
We don't "enter gay relationships to spite our parents." We enter gay relationships because we are gay or lesbian or bisexual. It's not rebellion. We love whom we love, and many times (1 out of 3) the anguish of knowing we love somone God does not approve of is fatal.
The whole idea that girls are "harmed" by education and being exposed to the world is an outgrowth of Victorian thought, of the Angel in the House.
Good on you for letting your girl dream.
Teach them, male and female, to do basic housework and let them be who they are. "The freer that you raise a mind, the brighter it will bloom."
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Post by anatheist on Nov 7, 2009 1:37:57 GMT -5
We don't "enter gay relationships to spite our parents." We enter gay relationships because we are gay or lesbian or bisexual. It's not rebellion. We love whom we love, and many times (1 out of 3) the anguish of knowing we love somone God does not approve of is fatal. Thank you for bringing this up angelia, I felt extremely uncomfortable with what I felt was an implication that gay relationships were a matter of rebellion rather than love. To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this article. I realize that it's written from a Christian perspective and so I would not agree with everything in it. However, I feel that there's a strong undertone implying that a child who was brought up correctly would never want to leave Christianity, and that a child who does so is rebelling against something. I hope that I am incorrect about that.
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Post by arietty on Nov 7, 2009 4:43:22 GMT -5
LOL well you might write a song that says, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" to spite your religious parents but that is a FAR cry from actually "entering a relationship".
Sorry Hopewell but I think that was a weird thing to say.
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Post by arietty on Nov 7, 2009 5:00:18 GMT -5
Oh and I do not mean to pile on Hopewell, though I suppose I have.l
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Post by jemand on Nov 7, 2009 10:05:29 GMT -5
I imagine it *could* be rebellion as much as getting into a heterosexual relationship that is disapproved of *could* be rebellion. I think in those cases though the teen really is probably some percentage bisexual and may lean to same sex relationships just to try to get their parents to accept that part of them more than if they just stuck to the opposite sex... But I was also very uncomfortable with that phrase regardless.
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Post by xara on Nov 7, 2009 11:47:20 GMT -5
I also have mixed feelings on this post. I am not Christian so I am coming from a different place than hopewell. I am glad that she is giving her daughter the freedom to figure out who she wants to be. There were however a few things in this post that made me cringe.
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Post by hopewell on Nov 11, 2009 13:33:34 GMT -5
I have a very thick skin. Yes, I'm sure things I've said are cringe-worthy! Sometimes I blog without a self-editor on, needing to vent. My point isn't to get into a debate about why folks are or are not gay. I am just worried about kids growing up under such oppression. Gay or straight they are your kids--God gave them to you to love, nurture and care for. I fear for the kids who grow up in QF and then "escape" and don't know who they really are or how to cope in a world that's always been portrayed to them as sinful and evil. That's all. OK?
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