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Post by tapati on Nov 3, 2009 3:58:36 GMT -5
This one can be a quick brainstorm for most of you--it's the second step that will take more time.
Make a list of ten things you would like to do if you had your ideal body that you aren't doing now. Most of us do have a picture in mind of what our ideal body would look like--plus or minus x pounds, minus the scar, with a little more or less height, younger/older, different hair or features--and we imagine we'd be more confident and take more risks or do different things if we looked like our ideal image.
In the case of illness or loss of certain abilities this can be more challenging, of course. There are literally some things you may not be able to do.
Step 2 is to pick one off the list and do it, and continue on down the list. As I said, that may be more complicated if you are ill or have become disabled. You may still be adjusting to things you really used to do and just can't any more. You may have to look at the spirit of each thing and see if you can come up with a new or modified activity that has that same spirit.
Perhaps you have adjusted to what you are able to do but hold back because you worry what people will think of you. A good example of this is the nurse with the prosthetic leg on the show Hawthorne who is afraid to start dating.
Maybe you need to take baby steps. In the above example, this nurse might start by buying a dress that reveals her legs, even the lower half. She might wear it around her home and get used to feeling exposed. Eventually she might wear a dress to a staff party or out with a friend or group of friends. After awhile, she might finally get up the nerve to go on a date. Dealing with fear is tricky and baby steps can help you adjust a little at a time to the risk you are taking.
You can write your list down on paper or share it here if you'd like. You might find your list overlaps with the lists of other women. Maybe you can offer each other support in tackling it. Perhaps your real life friends would do this exercise with you and you can work on doing these things together.
Some things I remember from my original list were to swim and dance in public. I do remember that I worked through my list and it led me to places I hadn't even thought of. For instance, I went skinny dipping with my girlfriends and enjoyed a public hot tub--nude. Both experiences were very affirming and enjoyable and not at all scary, but I'd never have guessed if I hadn't started with my list and gotten used to swimming in a suit where others could see me. Eventually I worked up to being a nude model and I Have some of the art from those sessions.
So put a toe in the water, so to speak, and come up with your list!
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mari
New Member
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Post by mari on Nov 3, 2009 19:45:41 GMT -5
I'm giong to have preston print this off for me. Thank you!
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Post by tapati on Nov 4, 2009 0:11:01 GMT -5
I'm giong to have preston print this off for me. Thank you! you're welcome!
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 17, 2009 9:01:38 GMT -5
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Post by tapati on Dec 17, 2009 10:54:53 GMT -5
Perhaps number 5 can be "smile more for the camera." Thanks for sharing your list! Anyone else? Come on, even one item.
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 17, 2009 15:44:47 GMT -5
Perhaps number 5 can be "smile more for the camera." Thanks for sharing your list! Anyone else? Come on, even one item. I admit, Tapati ~ that when I first saw your suggestion for #5, I thought ~ Fat Chance! But ~ I just read through your "Taking Care of Ourselves" post: nolongerquivering.com/2009/12/17/tapatis-body-image-workshop-taking-care-of-ourselves/ ~ and now I'm thinking that I am going to do it. Next opportunity I have to be on camera, I will smile and not be so concerned about how my teeth look that I can't concentrate on what I'm saying. Thanks.
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Post by tapati on Dec 17, 2009 20:20:00 GMT -5
Perhaps number 5 can be "smile more for the camera." Thanks for sharing your list! Anyone else? Come on, even one item. I admit, Tapati ~ that when I first saw your suggestion for #5, I thought ~ Fat Chance! But ~ I just read through your "Taking Care of Ourselves" post: nolongerquivering.com/2009/12/17/tapatis-body-image-workshop-taking-care-of-ourselves/ ~ and now I'm thinking that I am going to do it. Next opportunity I have to be on camera, I will smile and not be so concerned about how my teeth look that I can't concentrate on what I'm saying. Thanks. I think it will have a positive effect on your interviews too. It's hard to both talk and keep your teeth covered at the same time! You'll be less self conscious and be able to speak out more boldly than ever before. I think you'll really enjoy the result. Liberate your teeth!
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 17, 2009 21:06:18 GMT -5
My list
1. Stand up straight, stop slouching.. realize no one is really looking at your boobs and you're not an embarrassed 12 year old any longer trying to hide your breasts 2. Surfing - Build up the strength/balance again to ride the waves again this summer 3. Dance again - 4. To be in crowds again without fearing being set off into an asthma attack by others colognes and smoke 5. Go to an amusement park and ride all the rides 6. Ride horses without fear of asthma attack 7. Wear shorts this summer 8. pose naked for my husbands camera 9. Paint a nude self portrait 10. Go nude for an entire day in my home. 10.
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Post by tapati on Dec 18, 2009 7:06:41 GMT -5
My list 1. Stand up straight, stop slouching.. realize no one is really looking at your boobs and you're not an embarrassed 12 year old any longer trying to hide your breasts 2. Surfing - Build up the strength/balance again to ride the waves again this summer 3. Dance again - 4. To be in crowds again without fearing being set off into an asthma attack by others colognes and smoke 5. Go to an amusement park and ride all the rides 6. Ride horses without fear of asthma attack 7. Wear shorts this summer 8. pose naked for my husbands camera 9. Paint a nude self portrait 10. Go nude for an entire day in my home. What a wonderful list! There are lots of good challenges here. Please let us know how it turns out. Is your asthma under better control these days, with a new medication perhaps? Or would number 4 still be a real problem for you? If so, how can you manage the risks of being in a crowd? Are their events in your area that advertise that people should avoid wearing perfumes if they attend? Can you write a letter to your local paper about your wish that people will get educated about chemical sensitivity and asthma and help enable you to do more things? In my area we made it illegal to smoke inside public venues which liberated me to go to concerts. (There's also been a campaign for years to educate people about perfumes so that's less and less a problem.) Thank you for sharing your list with us.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 18, 2009 8:13:58 GMT -5
We've reached the end of the road with asthma treatments. Summer of 2008 they gave me weekly chemo treatments to dial back the asthma and it sort of worked. I finally got permission from the insurance company to go on Xolair injections, the treatment when you run out of treatments. My attacks have gone from life threatening attacks twice a week running to the ER with an epipen dangling from my leg to much milder as in use the nebulizer and go lay down for a few hours.
Tried to go to a concert recently, a smoke free one, and reacted too badly to the crowds chemicals. I did get to see the opening act before leaving so it is forward motion for me.
The surfing is a big love for me and one made problematic by the asthma. The summer I got chemo I went to the beach in one of those silly head to toe burkinis to surf and found I was too weak to get beyond the breakers. This summer I tried again and I'm very clumsy at it. But I did it. My goal is to be as natural at it as I used to be.
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Post by tapati on Dec 20, 2009 11:46:04 GMT -5
I wish you the best on this rebuilding phase and hope that your asthma continues to improve (and society gets a clue about chemicals and smoke).
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