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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Oct 28, 2009 17:28:06 GMT -5
The Cop Who Hated Suicide Survivors by angelreneetn
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Nov 5, 2009 11:38:57 GMT -5
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Post by tapati on Nov 5, 2009 11:43:22 GMT -5
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Nov 5, 2009 11:45:37 GMT -5
Thanks Tapati ~ I fixed the link above too. Sometimes this linking system can be a real pain!
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Hillary
Full Member
"Quivering Daughters ~ Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy" Now Available!
Posts: 129
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Post by Hillary on Nov 5, 2009 12:09:57 GMT -5
I am crying because all of Angel's emotions and feelings are so familiar; and the silly thing is, for me, I always had a little bit of shame for myself that I was never "brave" enough to carry out what I wanted to do. I was suicidal for years and yet the fear of hell kept me from it. Because we were taught that suicide was the "unforgivable sin". {{{hugs Angel}}}
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Post by tapati on Nov 5, 2009 12:32:11 GMT -5
Angel, you wrote one of the most eloquent descriptions of how a child can take on the stresses of a dysfunctional family that I've ever read!
I am glad you taught something to the icy-hearted cop. I think mainly he wasn't willing ever before to identify so closely with someone else's pain.
I am sad that it took so much before your pain was fully recognized by your family. Denial is such a powerful force.
{{{hugs}}}
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Post by jemand on Nov 5, 2009 12:36:22 GMT -5
I wonder if the cop had lost someone close to suicide. It almost sounds like he was lashing out because of something he had lost, rather than wanting to really listen to any possibilities of another's pain.
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Hillary
Full Member
"Quivering Daughters ~ Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy" Now Available!
Posts: 129
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Post by Hillary on Nov 5, 2009 12:38:41 GMT -5
I wonder if the cop had lost someone close to suicide. It almost sounds like he was lashing out because of something he had lost, rather than wanting to really listen to any possibilities of another's pain. Very true. Angel I'm so sorry you experienced this. What has been the most effective key to recovery for you?
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Post by whatkindofwoman on Nov 5, 2009 12:59:00 GMT -5
(((tears)))
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Post by castor on Nov 5, 2009 14:28:37 GMT -5
Oh angel, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm so impressed that you got through to that cop though.
I agree with Jemand. The cop's reaction was very strange, and it might have had something to do with things that had happened in his personal life
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Post by aussiemama on Nov 5, 2009 14:32:40 GMT -5
Every time I talked about things that were wrong within my family to somebody else, I was told that I was in a "good family, and they would never do that". Nobody would listen to me.
I know the feelings.
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Post by redheadedskeptic on Nov 5, 2009 15:54:10 GMT -5
wow, Angel. You are amazing. Don't ever forget it or let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Post by Sierra on Nov 5, 2009 16:36:19 GMT -5
Wow, Angel. I am so impressed with the way you got through to that man when he was lashing out at you at the worst possible time...
(hillary, I often felt the same way - my fear wasn't necessarily of hell, though, it was of surviving with a permanent injury.)
It must have been so scary for you to go home after that, Angel, not knowing that it would be a turning point for your mom. I can just imagine how I would feel facing my dad again after that...
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Nov 5, 2009 22:46:32 GMT -5
(hillary, I often felt the same way - my fear wasn't necessarily of hell, though, it was of surviving with a permanent injury.) Heh. If I hadn't read the Bell Jar, I'd probably have been tempted to try it myself. But that really made me think I couldn't ever do it just in case I survived. It's that fear of survival for me too. *hugs Angel*
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Post by krwordgazer on Nov 5, 2009 23:43:02 GMT -5
Angel, you are amazing. You articulated what you were feeling so well, you turned that cop's thinking upside down. And yet someone who can communicate as good as you, just couldn't get through to your step-father. So terrible. *more hugs from an even more indignant mom*
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Post by kisekileia on Nov 5, 2009 23:57:42 GMT -5
Wow, Angel. I am amazed that in all your suffering, you were able to get through so well to that cop. It speaks to your open, sincere, passionate nature. You're a lovely person.
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Post by jadehawk on Nov 6, 2009 2:34:55 GMT -5
***hugs***
that you were able to get through to the cop and make him more understanding (and maybe take that first step to come to terms with whatever caused him to hate suicidal people in the first place) is amazing. to be able to reach people like that is an incredible talent, and that you've done it at such a vulnerable moment is amazing!!! when I was in that situation, I just locked myself in my own head and didn't talk to anyone, just pretended they weren't there.
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Post by mandajanie on Nov 7, 2009 1:48:39 GMT -5
Beautiful, powerful, and sad.
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Post by anatheist on Nov 7, 2009 1:55:46 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing that, Angel. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but amazed at how you were able to reach out to another hurting person.
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Post by arietty on Nov 7, 2009 5:10:20 GMT -5
I hope your talking to this cop gave him insight and compassion for other young people in dire straights.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Nov 9, 2009 12:27:06 GMT -5
Angel that was very powerful and made me cry. I am so glad you survived and finally got to be who you are. I am sorry you had to endure that experience in your life but I'm hoping that you're able to take away something that will help you on your life journey from that time.
The thing with suicide is if you try it and fail it's almost a worse feeling than what drove you to it in the first place. I tried twice and waking up the next morning to even more feelings of failure, that 'oh crap I'm still alive, I'm still in pain' was the worst.
Cops, like social workers, sometimes get very burned out and cynical when all they're exposed to is the worse of human behavior and society. It's easy to slide into that mindset after a while. Sounds like what happened allowed him to see that he was in burn out.
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Post by tapati on Dec 31, 2009 14:30:14 GMT -5
By the way, a lot of people don't realize that Tylenol is one of the most potent pills you can overdose with. If you don't get an antidote within twelve hours it will kill your liver and you will die. It would take many, many more barbiturates to do the job than tylenol. That's why the warning labels tell you not to take more than x in 24 hours and not take it with alcohol. www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=629Unfortunately no one explained this fact to Vyckie when they called her so she was thinking of Tylenol as this mild OTC pain med, not the lethal medication that it can be. That led her to downplay the seriousness of the attempt in her initial reaction--which as we all know is tinged with denial as a protective mechanism. The hospital should have communicated the real facts to her effectively. I would advise anyone with a depressed teen to quietly remove Tylenol from their homes. Maybe they don't know or wouldn't think of it on their own, but why have it available? Teens are a high risk group for suicide anyway, one of the two highest. (Elderly people are with them in that category.)
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Post by grandmalou on Jan 1, 2010 7:50:25 GMT -5
You know, as a family we had all gotten so good at convincing others, and ourselves, that "we're just fine" with a big re-gusting grin till our faces fell off, that it occured to me just now... I sat there in the yard catching up on old times with Vyckie's Uncle Ron, singing Roger Miller songs...Trailer for Sale or Rent, etc., laughing, while Angel lay there in a hospital bed nearly dying! And had no clue!!! AAARRGGGHH!!!! The frustration of that! Dear God, where the hell is the "undo" button in these situations??? Angel, I wish I could go back to that place, and just scoop you up and away from ALL of that! ALL of you!
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