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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 23:52:26 GMT -5
Write your body a letter--and allow your body to respond. I would suggest doing this regularly. You can also apply this technique to any particular body part. It sounds so simple--and yet it yields so much if you really open yourself up to a dialog. It is modeled after the empty chair type exercises psychology has utilized for years. Can't talk to your deceased relative? Write a letter or address them in an empty chair or at their grave site. It's the same principle. Of course your body is another part of YOU. Yet it is possible for different parts of you to have a dialog. Don't you do this all the time when you are deciding whether or not to exercise, eat well, or buy that expensive item? We like to imagine the little angel and devil on our shoulder, but it's really just ourselves talking to ourselves. You'll be surprised--I bet--by what your body has to say. You can choose to share this with the group or not, as you choose, but please at least let me know how it went for you and if you have any questions. If there is a particular body part you'd like to talk to, one you have the most trouble accepting, it helps also to offer some positive attention to that part of your body. A little extra lotion, a massage, a new garment, something nice. When you take better care of it you might find your heart softening a little. I went so far as to pose nude for an artist friend with my posterior end in full view, and now have a huge drawing on my wall from that viewpoint. Here's my current example, done right now in real time...my issues are more around my heart health and migraines these days as you can see-- Dear Body, It's been awhile since I last talked to you. How've you been? I know I've been pushing you hard this last week. Did I forget my meds? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I am trying to get more rest. Don't you think we've mostly been eating pretty good? I'll work on it! --Tapati Dear Tapati, I know you try but you have forgotten my meds at times and remember our membership at the pool starts back up this week. I'm depending on you to get us there! I know this workshop is important and the carnival's going on and your grandsons needed you but I'm pretty fragile here so don't forget me! My heart is stressed and I'm fighting off a migraine along with this cough. Slow down and rest up! You know you want to! You don't want to make me send you pain as a warning sign and I don't want to do that to you either. Truce? --Body Dear Body, You're right, I know, you're right. I promise I will get to the pool and take my meds and get some rest. Truce! --Tapati
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Post by ashmeadskernal on Nov 2, 2009 11:53:26 GMT -5
Dear Body,
I'm a bit annoyed at you right now. Why do you have to skyrocket my heartrate like that for no particular reason? Why can't I have a perfect pregnancy? Why can't it not hurt? Why can't you act like my friends' bodies and give me an ounce of energy enough to clean the house and take care of the kids? I'll be good and take my meds, and I know you're working hard. I'll try to feed you better, because you really don't like Halloween candy.
- ashmeadskernal
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Post by tapati on Nov 3, 2009 3:40:49 GMT -5
Dear Body, I'm a bit annoyed at you right now. Why do you have to skyrocket my heartrate like that for no particular reason? Why can't I have a perfect pregnancy? Why can't it not hurt? Why can't you act like my friends' bodies and give me an ounce of energy enough to clean the house and take care of the kids? I'll be good and take my meds, and I know you're working hard. I'll try to feed you better, because you really don't like Halloween candy. - ashmeadskernal I'll be interested to hear about your body's response. Of course you don't have to share the text here if you don't want to. You can choose to just talk about how it went. Over time the dialog tends to shift. This is such a good start I suspect you'll find it really valuable to keep at it, maybe once a week or more. Thanks for sharing it with us--it's a great illustration of the exercise.
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Hillary
Full Member
"Quivering Daughters ~ Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy" Now Available!
Posts: 129
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Post by Hillary on Nov 3, 2009 15:40:34 GMT -5
This is a really interesting thread. I have several "issues" with my body, too . . . about a year or two ago, a friend asked the question we all have heard: "If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?" Immediately I said, "My stomach, because its so ugly and fat and flabby . . " I carried on for quite awhile with hatred towards my body and didn't think anything of it.
The next morning in the shower I distinctly sensed God saying, "Thank your stomach for all it has done for you."
I flipped out, thinking oh my, what a "new age" thought! But He persisted and it dawned on me: my stomach is essential to life. It processes nutrients and elimination, houses organs and so many things that without which, I would die, or at least be seriously ill.
And He gently pressed me to not only thank my body and all the places I hated, but agree with Him that they are good. Stretchmarks and saggy breasts. Dry skin. Strong hands. As He oh-so-kindly replaced old thoughts ~ "flesh is wicked and sinful"! ~ with truth ~"I have formed you with wisdom, in MY image" ~ I slowly began to heal.
Do I still have self-deprecating thoughts? Do I still struggle being overweight and feeling clumsy? Yes. But I can separate old feelings from the truth that God has shown me, and it doesn't hurt anymore.
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Post by tapati on Nov 4, 2009 0:15:16 GMT -5
This is a really interesting thread. I have several "issues" with my body, too . . . about a year or two ago, a friend asked the question we all have heard: "If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?" Immediately I said, "My stomach, because its so ugly and fat and flabby . . " I carried on for quite awhile with hatred towards my body and didn't think anything of it. Sadly, this is true of many of us before we actively begin body image work. We've been well taught to constantly judge our body and find it lacking in one way or another. This is really powerful for anyone who believes in God (or Goddess). The concept is that our body is a temple. So how can it be bad? Our spirit resides here! In some religions it is said that God resides here with us, in our hearts. In some pagan traditions there are various rituals to bless the body, not just as a whole but slowly going over each area and blessing it for the work it does. An atheist could choose to self-bless each area of their body. The more we do these things, the more our relationship with our body shifts over time. Thank you for sharing!
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 16, 2009 8:49:58 GMT -5
nolongerquivering.com/2009/12/16/tapati%e2%80%99s-body-image-workshop-day-two-assignment/Tapati ~ I'm so glad that we're running this workshop again because the first time through, I completely missed that you have a nude drawing of your behind on your wall. Wow ~ you rock, Tapati!! And thank you for all the photo links last night in the chat room of all the famous women with imperfect teeth. I think I'll write a letter to my teeth. Dear Vyckie's Teeth, Ugh ~ this is a tough assignment.
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Post by tapati on Dec 16, 2009 18:04:35 GMT -5
It starts out tough but it gets easier as the dialog gets going, I promise! As for nude photos, there are more here: tapatim.multiply.com/photos/album/34I think they're tasteful but if someone has religious reasons not to view them I understand.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 17, 2009 20:42:08 GMT -5
Tough assignment.. I had to think about it for a full day..
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Body,
You and I, we’ve been through some changes and some battles together, haven’t we? We’ve been through cancer and triumphed, we’ve lived with asthma and are still, aren’t we my old friend?
I love how complex and strong you can be. You thrill me every day when we go to the gym and we power lift together. It’s fun showing the gym rat types that we can lift so much weight even if we’re graying and not skinny. I like that you’re as feisty and adventurous as me. I like your curves and muscles. I like how in tune with the ocean you and I both are.
But… do you have to overreact to common things all the time like dog hair, foods and chemicals? I’m getting tired of being a science experiment over at NIH because you cannot handle much without shutting down my breathing. You’ve been doing that since day one just not so intensely until four years ago. I understand it, sort of, you started doing this at birth because we arrived unwanted and rejected by our mother. But why do you continue? We’re not rejected, we’re loved and cherished now.
And was it really necessary to start being so out of wack that we have no balance now, tripped over a box and ended up in the hospital the other night? Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to be continually questioned by first the nurses, then the social worker and finally the doctor about if I was drunk or high or lucid? The questioning about why our heart rate was so fast and blood so thinned. I emerged with my dignity bruised and a blood filled contusion behind our kneecap that had to be drained.
Calulu
Dear Calulu,
How about for many years you paid me no attention, you did the things that would hurt me, drugs, alcohol, no sleep, semi starvation. Then the endless pregnancy attempts that ended in miscarriages. For years I’ve been taken to the edge and what can I do but breakdown?
Thank you for starting to eat right and taken supplements and for the vigilance you’ve shown for the past four years to make sure I have what I need. Keep it up.
Your Body
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Post by tapati on Dec 19, 2009 8:07:26 GMT -5
Wow, these are excellent examples of how this exercise can open up communication between your consciousness and your body. Keep it going and notice how the conversation shifts and things lighten between you and your body as time goes on. Our bodies are always trying to communicate with us but sometimes we don't listen until there's pain or other symptoms.
Calulu, there may have been exposures to environmental toxins early on that you know nothing about. Who knows what happened during the pregnancy, for example, in terms of your mom's exposure.
It sounds like you and your body are well on your way to making peace. Sometimes our bodies can't help breaking down but by working together it may be possible to minimize symptoms and learn more and more how to manage your condition. I am somewhat chemically sensitive so I can empathize.
Grace, great start--I'll be curious to read how your body responds.
Thank you both for sharing your results! I hope you will inspire others to do the same.
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Post by Gracious on Dec 20, 2009 9:16:17 GMT -5
Wow. That actually made me feel pretty emotional writing that. I'm not sure if it was that, or if I'm just tired, but I had a bit of a cry after writing that. Lol!
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Post by tapati on Dec 20, 2009 11:43:57 GMT -5
Excellent! It looks like this was a conversation that's needed to happen for a long time.
Thank you for sharing this!
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Dec 21, 2009 11:25:57 GMT -5
Dear Body,
You do realize we just turned 25, right? That we're not old women yet and won't be for a long time? Then what's with our knees? Why hasn't our left knee been able to move easily or without pain for the past week? Why does it feel like the muscle there is gone? It would make more sense if it were our right knee, since that's the one that was operated on. I know our knees have always been bad, but this is getting ridiculous. Seriously. I feel like our 80 year old grandmother can stand up and move around after sitting down more easily than we can. (Ok so that's a big exaggeration, but you understand what I'm trying to get at, right?) And why is it necessary to have a headache just about every day? Our glasses are the right prescription, so it's not that. (But at least thank you for not making them totally unbearable. I guess I shouldn't complain since I hardly even notice them most of the time.) Are they maybe sinus related? And what's with the weird, random things (the eye twitch, the uncontrollable leg twitch, random shooting pain in our head or down our leg)? I know they don't happen very often, but they still kind of worry me. And can we work out something about our sinuses? You know the pills don't help very much (except sometimes with the congestion), and even the non-drowsy ones knock us out for a few hours. But there's gotta be something we can do about that, right?
Love, Em
(now if I had any idea how to respond. lol)
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Post by tapati on Dec 21, 2009 11:54:04 GMT -5
I think your body needs a consultant, lol. I empathize with your knee issues. I injured mine last year and it's still prone to aching and hurting when I get up from a seated position, and still tender. I had it x-rayed and it is soft tissue damage, not arthritis or injury to the bones. Re: sinuses, have you heard of a neti pot? Or the Himalayan salt inhaler for those who don't like actual water in their sinuses? Or you can also just get a saline nasal spray. People with sinus issues say these things really help! May improve your headaches, too. Maybe you and your body can work together as detectives and bring in consultants or read up on these symptoms. If they persist, though, a doctor might be needed.
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Post by princessjo1988 on Dec 21, 2009 18:56:12 GMT -5
Ugh. That was tough. I know I probably did it wrong, but I feel very conflicted by my body. The very nature of my disease means that my body is attacking itself (without reason) so it makes this very difficult to write. I know I should be forgiving my body, but that's not an easy thing to do when it likes to hurt you and send you to the hospital.
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Dec 22, 2009 0:23:50 GMT -5
I think your body needs a consultant, lol. I empathize with your knee issues. I injured mine last year and it's still prone to aching and hurting when I get up from a seated position, and still tender. I had it x-rayed and it is soft tissue damage, not arthritis or injury to the bones. Re: sinuses, have you heard of a neti pot? Or the Himalayan salt inhaler for those who don't like actual water in their sinuses? Or you can also just get a saline nasal spray. People with sinus issues say these things really help! May improve your headaches, too. Maybe you and your body can work together as detectives and bring in consultants or read up on these symptoms. If they persist, though, a doctor might be needed. Heh, well my mom had me checked out for various issues (including the headaches) ... and nothing came of it. I remember taking an asthma test and being told I couldn't breathe very well even with the inhaler and that was the end of that. I don't think my knee pains are soft tissue damage as they've been going on for pretty much as long as I can remember (at least ever since I was 6 and had surgery ... had a strep infection in my knee). And nope, no nasal sprays over here. Putting stuff up my nose seriously freaks me out. Aw, Jo. My mom's got an autoimmune disease too (MS). It's rough. I can understand. They're awful, and the treatments aren't very nice either. And it sucks knowing you can have a flare up at any time with no warning. Dear Em, Yeah, sorry about that. It's not like I enjoy those things either, you know. At least the headaches aren't as bad as when we were kids, so that's a plus. Maybe they just come from reading so much? Or the sinus problems. But you know those can't be helped, blame our parents and their genes. As for the knees, well our mom does have RA and dad has gout ... so we may be SOL on this one. Let's be optimistic. The ear infections went away as we grew up, the headaches aren't as severe ... maybe this will too. body
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Post by tapati on Dec 22, 2009 10:23:11 GMT -5
The Himalayan method involves inhaling vapor rather than actual liquid and is said to be nearly as effective.
When my knee is acting up I help it heal faster by babying it, using a cane, going up or down stairs one at a time, and so on. Tiger balm is great and so are ice packs. If you can't cure it, I guess caring for it is the next best thing.
{{{hugs}}}
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Post by tapati on Dec 22, 2009 10:30:35 GMT -5
Ugh. That was tough. I know I probably did it wrong, but I feel very conflicted by my body. The very nature of my disease means that my body is attacking itself (without reason) so it makes this very difficult to write. I know I should be forgiving my body, but that's not an easy thing to do when it likes to hurt you and send you to the hospital. It's normal, especially in cases where there are limitations, pain and discomfort, to start out completely positive. From your perception, your body is hurting and limiting you. Perhaps from your body's viewpoint, it is already frustrated with the limitations IT has to function under. It's like a machine with manufacturing irregularities and it can only work with what it has been given or what help it receives. It may want everything YOU want and be just as frustrated. Together you may brainstorm ways to improve things. You can both look forward to new medical advancements that might help you someday. Perhaps some doctor will have an inspiration about your current treatment. Your body is your partner in this. You are already approaching it on as positive a note as you can. You might be surprised at the response.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 28, 2009 21:59:12 GMT -5
Dear Body,
Never again will I doubt the signals you are sending me. I just found out that the knee we had xrayed at the hospital a few weeks ago is broken. You and I will have to have surgery next month and be dealing with crutches and the like. You told me, you kept insisting it was something more than a bruised knee like the ER doctor said.
I'm so sorry I doubted you.
Calulu
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Post by tapati on Dec 29, 2009 3:28:09 GMT -5
Dear Body, Never again will I doubt the signals you are sending me. I just found out that the knee we had xrayed at the hospital a few weeks ago is broken. You and I will have to have surgery next month and be dealing with crutches and the like. You told me, you kept insisting it was something more than a bruised knee like the ER doctor said. I'm so sorry I doubted you. Calulu Our bodies can be so wise sometimes! I hope you both heal in record time!
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