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Post by pandapaws on Jun 20, 2009 19:04:46 GMT -5
I think those kids probably are that sheltered. I grew up evangelical, but not patriarchal, and I had to ask a friend what the phrase "giving head" meant when I was eighteen. So is TLC exploiting the Duggars while making it seem to them that they are doing something good in spreading their lifestyle? I think the Duggars exploit TLC. They get paid 60k per episode, I hear. I am waiting to see a Duggar child go rogue.
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Post by suzannedeaz on Jun 20, 2009 23:16:40 GMT -5
Maybe you think that if a woman's P/QF husband doesn't have control issues the woman will have a choice, that she will be free to be herself, and that therefore this lifestyle doesn't have to be a bad one. I assume this is what you meant when you said "However, for those men who have no control issues but just want to please the Lord that lifestyle may be a positive experience.". Yes, that is what I think, that this lifestyle does not have to be that bad if the husband does not have controll issues. I think they can be quiver full and have a balance partnership where both have equal voice.
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Post by suzannedeaz on Jun 20, 2009 23:18:48 GMT -5
[quote author= [/quote]
I think the Duggars exploit TLC. They get paid 60k per episode, I hear.
I am waiting to see a Duggar child go rogue. [/quote]
I do not think either of them are exploiting one another. I think it is a win win situation. TLC has a good show by having them sign a contract and the Duggars gets some $$$ so they can have some extras at the same time they are sharing their faith and lifestyle. Why does it have to be one taking advantageof another. It is just good business.
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Post by rosa on Jun 20, 2009 23:39:04 GMT -5
Pandapaws, we've talked about this elsewhere on the board, but a man who is the head of the family over a wife who submits, but who doesn't try to control her or make decisions for her...how is that different than an egalitarian couple?
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Post by jemand on Jun 22, 2009 9:23:24 GMT -5
Maybe you think that if a woman's P/QF husband doesn't have control issues the woman will have a choice, that she will be free to be herself, and that therefore this lifestyle doesn't have to be a bad one. I assume this is what you meant when you said "However, for those men who have no control issues but just want to please the Lord that lifestyle may be a positive experience.". Yes, that is what I think, that this lifestyle does not have to be that bad if the husband does not have controll issues. I think they can be quiver full and have a balance partnership where both have equal voice. How is that quiverful though? Quiverful has submission written right into it... you can't have "equal voice." Now I DO think it's possible to have a larger than average number of children in a healthy relationship... but you CANNOT stress "submission" and "leadership" roles and have a healthy relationship.
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Post by babykaoss on Jun 30, 2009 12:13:06 GMT -5
So is TLC exploiting the Duggars while making it seem to them that they are doing something good in spreading their lifestyle? I think the Duggars exploit TLC. They get paid 60k per episode, I hear. I am waiting to see a Duggar child go rogue. I can't WAIT to see a Duggar child go rogue. I think that TLC AND the Duggar's are both exploiting their viewers. The one who see this show through rose-colored glasses. The friends of mine who are otherwise practical and rational and non-religious people who think how sweet and nice this family is. I think it's insidious. I think it serves as a nicely edited idealistic fantasy of how this type of family really is. Have you EVER seen either parent get irritated, frustrated, even raise a voice, or a hand? Is this REALITY? No freaking way. They believe in corporal punishment, why are they shown as soft spoken sweeties with perfectly behaved angels for children? Ugh. I'm getting nauseous.........
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Post by arietty on Jul 1, 2009 1:32:58 GMT -5
I'd be pretty cheery if someone was paying ME 60,000 to make dinner and do the laundry for the cameras!
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Post by sargassosea on Jul 1, 2009 7:29:10 GMT -5
I watched the show last night (don't watch it very often - pegs my creep guage) and thought - Well now, they've changed quite a bit.
I remember seeing the first episode(?) when they lived in the old house and didn't have their hip 'plain' clothes and makeup and the girls were explaining the making of - wait for it - Tater Tot Casserole!
And I realized then that they were some of those *Full Quiver* movement people I'd been starting to hear about...
Yeah, they've changed quite a lot alright.
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Post by allison on Jul 1, 2009 16:19:30 GMT -5
Tater tot casserole is delicious! I feel like the Duggars have always eaten a damn sight better than some of the QF blog ladies I read... www.generationcedar.com/main/2009/04/frugal-friday-in-kitchen.htmlLike, a family of nine eats half a bag of chips, a can of corn, a can of beans and a cup of rice? I don't care if they're mostly small children, that is just not a lot of food.
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Post by rosa on Jul 1, 2009 16:58:24 GMT -5
Is it a can of beans? I didn't see the can in the picture - if she's cooking beans & rice from dry, the $ amounts sound like half a pound of black beans and a cup or two of dry rice (non-organic brown rice is $1.20/# i think right now). That wouldn't be skimpy for nine - though i'd want some green salad and better salsa. It's poor people's food for sure, though.
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Post by allison on Jul 1, 2009 17:31:28 GMT -5
9 X 13 casserole, I suppose - I'm a big eater (and have never had to cook for nine) so my perspective is probably skewed. At any rate, I'd definitely need a side salad!
I'm kind of craving tater tots now.
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Jul 1, 2009 18:14:13 GMT -5
The Duggars diet has always kinda horrified me because of the fat content and salt content and the carbs to meat/veg ratio and the lack of any real healthy fresh fruits or veggies but at least it's not the starvation rations of that other family. You can eat cheaply and more healthy without starving your kids or feeding them crapola. It just takes planning and....duuu,,duhhhh... duhhhhhhhhhh.. that thing lots of people hate doing - actually cooking.
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Post by rosa on Jul 1, 2009 18:29:27 GMT -5
Hah. Calalu, i wanted to sign my family up for Trading Spouses and my boyfriend was all "no, they'd never pick us!" and I had to remind him he was 1) eating a salad of lambsquarters and borage 2) alongside soup with homemade tofu (at the toddler's request) 3) discussing whether the holes in his only pair of pants were bad enough to force him to get new ones. It's actually cheaper to add veggies to your diet than to find scratch & dent canned goods, but it's hard to blog about because you can't really tell your readers to forage for edible weeds or go start a garden.
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Post by philosophia on Jul 1, 2009 21:42:31 GMT -5
Well, we are a family of 11 and it takes 2 1/2 cups of brown rice and 2 or 3 regular cans of beans to make beans and rice. I only use dry beans in chili and split pea soup. That is something we eat once or twice a month. I might add that 4 of the folks are under 8, and don't eat very much.
When you have an enormous family rice is your friend. I use the brown, and get the basmati sometimes for a treat. I actually ran a cooperative here for a while until the craze for natural foods died out and Kroger took over stocking those items.
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Post by ambrosia on Jul 1, 2009 22:01:53 GMT -5
I think that the saddest thing I have seen is the overweight/malnutrition in poor people. Unfortunately, the most protein-nutritious of inexpensive foods require a fairly stable domicile and rudimentary cooking skills. One can make a healthy, delicious meal from the cheapest selections in the meat and veg aisles, but YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO COOK!! And have a place to live, and a basic understanding of nutrition. The malnutrition in the "land of plenty" makes me want to cry!!
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Post by jemand on Jul 2, 2009 10:16:34 GMT -5
...but it's hard to blog about because you can't really tell your readers to forage for edible weeds... Of course you could! Actually I went on an edible wild foods craze in my teens, learning a great deal about edible wild plants, especially those edible raw. Even got myself pretty full one night for supper, but it was early fall which is generally the easiest time to do that with.
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Post by rosa on Jul 2, 2009 11:24:37 GMT -5
well, you *could* but the real wild foodies are full of disclaimers and warnings about possible self-poisoning.
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Post by jemand on Jul 2, 2009 11:39:06 GMT -5
I suppose. Though as long as you stay away from mushrooms and stick with stuff like... dandelions... it's kinda hard to poison yourself even with wild foods. And I've forgotten the names of most of the plants I know too, which is annoying. Even though I still know them on sight.
Although you're as likely to have an allergic reaction to wild food as domesticated plants-- so if someone's allergic to lots of stuff, I wouldn't recommend trying (any) wild foods without an epi pen around or something.
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Post by barbaraw on Jul 2, 2009 11:43:41 GMT -5
it's hard to blog about because you can't really tell your readers to forage for edible weeds That sounds like a great blog subject. Now I'm remembering eating wood sorrel as a child and my mouth's watering.
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Post by rosa on Jul 2, 2009 12:08:13 GMT -5
The other thing - and this is probably not true for later babies - but my son just turned four and I'm finally having the time and energy to learn new things again. I pretty much coasted on the skills (cooking, work-related, knitting) I already had until just recently. And I sort of think that if I was having to learn how to full-time-parent a four year old (instead of gratefully handing him off to professionals for part of each week) I'd be more focused on that still. I see this in friends who started their families really young - there's a time period when they're just getting by with the basics, and now that their kids are older they're able to pick up new crafts, or finally learn to cook, or tackle the finer points of financial management.
And you never do get another time like your late teens/early twenties - if you don't work full time and/or have kids yet - when you have the time, energy, and focus to just learn random stuff because you want to. Maybe some people get it back after their kids are grown, but there are so many other things that build up - social and family obligations, job stuff, health issues.
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Post by jemand on Jul 2, 2009 12:51:53 GMT -5
it's hard to blog about because you can't really tell your readers to forage for edible weeds That sounds like a great blog subject. Now I'm remembering eating wood sorrel as a child and my mouth's watering. Wood sorrel's awesome... but... it doesn't hold a CANDLE to wintergreen. mmmm... Makes winter camping worth it a million times over! NOTHING can beat eating wintergreen berries covered lightly with frost...
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Jul 2, 2009 14:13:36 GMT -5
Wow, I wish I was that adventurous in my eating!
With a yard the size of the Duggars I just don't get why they don't at least grow a few fresh tomatoes and lettuce much less other things. I have a tiny yard and I grow lots of fruits and veggies each year without a lot of effort. It would give that fleet of boys something to do constructive.
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Post by castor on Jul 2, 2009 17:23:55 GMT -5
Rosa, I've always been to lazy to make my own tofu. Is it worth it? I mean, does it taste different/better (in your opinion) than the tofu they sell at organic food stores? (should I become less lazy?)
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jo
Junior Member
Posts: 73
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Post by jo on Jul 2, 2009 17:33:21 GMT -5
I have 8 kids and there is no way that meal would feed them. Please, I have several who have truly starved in their lives and need the stability of real food in their lives.
Groceries is our second highest bill in any given pay period. And cooking Duggar style would most definitely cut our grocery budget. But, I refuse to do it. Fresh stuff costs a fortune in suburbia where we live. But, I refuse to let my children ever think that oranges come in a can or apples come in syrup, even at the cost to our grocery budget.
We attempted a garden last year and discovered that our untilled land needs more tilling than what we can get out of a tiller rental. So, we're intending to purchase a tiller once the baby is big enough that I can actually garden with him around. I cannot imagine trying to garden with little babies. And, if you are qf, then the one constant is that there are *always* little babies around.
I have to wonder exactly how little the little ones in that blog are. I've seen lots of qf families control their children's eating to control their grocery bill and justify that they don't need that much. I think Laura mentioned they only ate 2 meals a day by the time her marriage was starting to fall apart. Well, I grew up in that world.
I can tell you 2 things. 1. You never forget what it feels like to go to bed hungry as a child, especially when its a normal occurance. 2. I was so terribly grateful that my parents did not homeschool. We at least got to go to school and got free lunches. My teachers knew to teach me to stock up my tray and keep the hunger at least managable until the next day.
Want to know the biggest insult to a hungry child? Knowing that Daddy always eats first and eats until he's full and you get what he bothers to leave you.
In our house, there has been a time or two in our roughest days that Dh or I went to bed hungry. But, not one child in this house has EVER known what its like to go to bed hungry. In this house, growing kids eat first. And, they eat until they are full. And, if that means I have to scrimp and save and do whatever it takes to pay for those groceries, so be it.
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Post by grandmalou on Jul 2, 2009 18:25:41 GMT -5
This is such a sad, heartbreaking statement, and I have seen it so many times in "Christian" homes where Father is god... Jo stated: "Want to know the biggest insult to a hungry child? Knowing that Daddy always eats first and eats until he's full and you get what he bothers to leave you." Makes me just want to go around smacking some dads. Sandy's ex is that way...that's my oldest daughter, Vyckie's sister, for late-comers. Bill would demand steaks and potatoes, full his plate, and say "I need MY meat...I work! Sandy and the boys are not doing anything, so they don't need it. I DO!" And at church potlucks...here's a dad with a plate full of everything, so heaped it is falling off. Kids picking gingerly, looking to see if they are going to get back-handed or at the very least, severely reprimanded later if they put too much on their plates. Skinny, looking like refugees from a third world country. What a way to live! NOT!
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