phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Oct 19, 2010 13:24:29 GMT -5
Zen hugs going out.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Oct 8, 2010 20:57:20 GMT -5
This is definitely the smartest group of women I've encountered on the 'net. Does fundamentalist religion establish a baseline of critical thinking and literacy, or do walkaways from fundamentalist religion have a baseline of critical thinking & literacy? . IMO, a little of both. One of the (many) reasons I'm no longer a fundy is that to quote Robert Heinlen, "I fell into the fatal habit of thinking". IME, thinking for yourself is a no no in the fundy world, it can lead to questioning and doubting, doubly bad if you're a woman who should let her father/ husband/pastor do most of her thinking for her. Most of the ex-fundy women I know, myself included, were sick and tired of being dismissed and talked down too simply because of their plumbing.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Sept 27, 2010 22:33:53 GMT -5
{{{DR}}} What you went through horrorfies me. I am so glad you are out of that mess.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Sept 24, 2010 20:05:24 GMT -5
At first, I thought I'd "be in trouble" after these visits with my new man's friends, family, and peers, for opening my mouth when I hadn't been invited to speak. I'd cringe in the truck or the bathroom, waiting for the boom to fall. But he reassured me that his friends are well-mannered and NORMAL people, and I am a person worthy of respect. Was that so strange, he'd ask. Um. Yes. I know. Even as long as I've been out of fundydom, I still worry whenever I disagree with my husband. I know he won't get mad and I know he'd hate having a robot with no mind of her own for a wife. But the old training is still there and I'm not sure I'll ever be entirely free from it.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Sept 15, 2010 21:40:37 GMT -5
But then again, I suppose I shouldn't be saying that word. "You wouldn't put garbage in your mouth so don't put it in your head. {wry grin} Did you and I have the same baptist momma?
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Sept 13, 2010 20:17:14 GMT -5
{{{{{Ruth}}}}} Our family was pretty fundy but I cannot imagine my parents doing anything like that to me or my sisters. I am so glad you're out of it.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Sept 1, 2010 9:20:21 GMT -5
I have read some awful things on this blog but what you went through just sickens me. I am so glad you got away from that waste of oxygen! {{{{{DR}}}}}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 26, 2010 18:19:42 GMT -5
"Forgive and forget" tends to be a fundy mantra, IME. But the two don't nessessarily have anything to do with each other. I can and must forgive those who hurt me in the past, so I can let them go and get on with my life. But I don't forget what happened to me and I use the experiences to protect myself in the future. Forgiveness is internal, no one can be told to do it, it will happen when you're ready. Forgetting is not, IMO, optional; what we forget, we have an unfortunate tendency to repeat.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 15, 2010 13:17:50 GMT -5
My favorite quote, "In their view, men are biologically hardwired so they have no self control. Show a man a little skin, and he goes crazy–he can’t help himself. All men are just animals, and a man who attacks an immodestly dressed woman is no more to blame than a grizzly who attacks a camper who foolishly keeps a raw steak in her bedroll in bear country." IMO, that pretty much sums up fundy attitudes towards sex and male/female relationships. Not a very flattering view of themselves, is it?
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 15, 2010 12:44:27 GMT -5
Reading this just makes me heartsick. I will never understand how some people can be so blind and cruel to the one they took a vow before god to love and care for. {{{{{Tess}}}}}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 13, 2010 13:32:06 GMT -5
Oh, hon, I just don't have the words. {{{{{Sierra}}}}}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 12, 2010 15:14:19 GMT -5
Have you seen the Christian Business Directories? They are published in large cities around the country. We were provided with a new one in our mailboxes once a year at the "Christian" school, so we could find Christian dentists, optometrists, tow trucks, appliance repairs, salons... you name it. Most people there considered it sinful to not use "Christian" services and companies. I find them very useful, let's me know what businesses to avoid. {wry grin}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 7, 2010 17:59:05 GMT -5
They came down a couple of days after the flood to find all their furniture upside down and falling over because the floor had grown into waves! It is hilarious. They have now had to move upstairs to live." So glad to know that she finds her daughter's misery hilarious. Oh My God. Words fail me.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Aug 3, 2010 11:08:31 GMT -5
This may be a bit of a snark, so forgive me....but what's with the proposals in tacky restaurants? The Duggar one was in that place full of vinyl booths and dead alligators on the walls and the pics linked in this post are one taking place at Arbys. Are all courtship proposals that low brow?? Do you know how hard it is to find a place where the demon rum isn't sold? (OK, that was a little snarky) Besides, he has to save his money to provide for all the little blessing they're going to have. Throwing money around in fancy restaurants would be poor stewardship of the resources god gave him. FWIW, my fundy ex-boyfriend (the one who at 18 told me god had told him to marry me) proposed to me at an A&W. I wish I was joking.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 12, 2010 23:38:21 GMT -5
I must disgree with Mr. Phillips statement that a "miscarriage is a moment". My miscarriage has been haunting me for 16 years and I expect it will haunt me forever. Oh, hon, I am so sorry! {{{lg61820}}}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 12, 2010 11:53:07 GMT -5
This has to be one of the most hateful things I've read on this site yet! I've had friends who had to face miscarriages and the grief they went through was heartbreaking. I would dearly love 5 minutes alone with Doug Phillips in a locked room with a very large stick.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 6, 2010 22:18:41 GMT -5
I love the new look, much easier to read and navigate.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 4, 2010 14:22:46 GMT -5
I guess calling your husband "sir" is a good way of making sure you don't call out the wrong name by mistake in an intimate moment. Although Miss Manners prefers "darling" for that purpose. {SPEW} 'scuse me while I mop off the keyboard.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 3, 2010 18:42:05 GMT -5
Yeah, I've always found it a little amusing that a single middle aged man with no kids, who, IIRC, lived with his parents their entire lives, is giving advice about marriage and family. Reminds me of something a friend of mine once said, "never eat in a diner that has a skinny cook."
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jul 1, 2010 10:48:47 GMT -5
ROTFL! That is both way too funny and way too true. Thanks for sharing the link.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jun 30, 2010 13:34:37 GMT -5
Having grown up with B&W thinking (fundamentalism in general seems to encourage it), I understand what you're saying completely. If I had a buck for every time I heard the phrase, "If it's doubtful, it's dirty" as a kid, today I'd be a very wealthy woman. Choices were limited because the wrong choice could lead you down a path of sin and backsliding. Not only that, but your bad choices could cause a weaker christian to sin as well (One of my least favorite pieces of fundy dogma, "tempting a weaker brother". Not only are you responsible for your own sins, but if another christian sees you doing something questionable and then does it himself, you're responsible for his sin, wether you know about it or not.). The only way to not sin was to do only what the bible and the minister said was right and keep as far as possible from the World {cue the scary music here}. To quote the songwriter- "You can't win, you can't break even and you can't get outta the game." Thank god I'm no longer playing; the shades of grey can be scary at times but they beat the alternative by considerable.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Jun 10, 2010 9:22:54 GMT -5
I have no words {{{{{Sierra}}}}}
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Apr 15, 2010 23:30:51 GMT -5
erk. My mother's the same way - even now I can't get a single visit in without her bringing up how saddened she is by not having any grandchildren. {wry grin} I dealt with my mom in a very simple way. When she once told me, "I want to be a grandma in the worst way." I just gave her an evil smile and replied, "I can arrange that." She gave me a dirty look and changed the subject.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Apr 14, 2010 22:17:47 GMT -5
{{{{{Ruth}}}}} Being a teenager can suck enough under normal circumstances but what you had to go through... Words fail me.
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phatchick
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Post by phatchick on Apr 7, 2010 18:22:37 GMT -5
Honestly, I think most older daughters DID want to serve and help relieve their moms. I know it broke my heart seeing how exhausted my mom was everyday. It wasn't that I didn't want to help and god knows with 5 younger kids in the house, Mom needed all she could get. But sometimes it got a bit wearing, when my friends were able to hang out and have fun and I was stuck at home. I remember feeling pissed off about it and guilty for feeling pissed off. I was just being selfish.
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