Post by krwordgazer on Apr 25, 2009 21:57:06 GMT -5
Jo, bless your heart.
You have just illustrated two principles I believe Christianity teaches, which people seem to forget all about:
1. Christianity is about loving one another, not judging one another.
2. Jesus said the one commandment we were given was to love one another. That idea is to govern all the other "commands," which aren't commands at all, but examples or principles of how "love one another" is to be followed.
For example, here's a "command" that was mentioned earlier in this thread. "Fathers should provide for their own children" is a guideline for how to live in love, not a rigid rule to be followed no matter what the extenuating circumstances might be. If we read it, "Fathers, if you need help providing for your children, you're breaking God's law," then we're turning into Pharisees who can't see people, only rules. (Note: I am NOT saying anyone here was saying that-- only trying to illustrate my point.)
It's wonderful that you two are able to provide for your children and had the resources to adopt special-needs children. If something were to happen so that you couldn't provide, and you needed assistance, that would be ok too.
But in our society, women are judged based on appearances, no matter what they do. There's always going to be someone judging. One person may think a woman has too many kids, another may think she has too few. Why can't we just let people make their own choices, give them the benefit of the doubt (particularly when we don't know their individual situations) and accept them as they are?
I myself have felt pressured to:
Have more kids (I have 2)
Stop working part-time and take a more high-powered career
Stop working at all and stay home with my kids
Home-school my kids
Spend more time volunteering at my kids' school
And so on, and soon. Contradictory messages; everyone has an opinion, and they all think they have a right to have one about my life.
And we're all in that situation. We're all under constant scrutiny as women. In the end all any of us can do is say, "I can't please everyone; I've got to do what I think is best" and leave it at that. And maybe leave it at that for our sisters, too.
You have just illustrated two principles I believe Christianity teaches, which people seem to forget all about:
1. Christianity is about loving one another, not judging one another.
2. Jesus said the one commandment we were given was to love one another. That idea is to govern all the other "commands," which aren't commands at all, but examples or principles of how "love one another" is to be followed.
For example, here's a "command" that was mentioned earlier in this thread. "Fathers should provide for their own children" is a guideline for how to live in love, not a rigid rule to be followed no matter what the extenuating circumstances might be. If we read it, "Fathers, if you need help providing for your children, you're breaking God's law," then we're turning into Pharisees who can't see people, only rules. (Note: I am NOT saying anyone here was saying that-- only trying to illustrate my point.)
It's wonderful that you two are able to provide for your children and had the resources to adopt special-needs children. If something were to happen so that you couldn't provide, and you needed assistance, that would be ok too.
But in our society, women are judged based on appearances, no matter what they do. There's always going to be someone judging. One person may think a woman has too many kids, another may think she has too few. Why can't we just let people make their own choices, give them the benefit of the doubt (particularly when we don't know their individual situations) and accept them as they are?
I myself have felt pressured to:
Have more kids (I have 2)
Stop working part-time and take a more high-powered career
Stop working at all and stay home with my kids
Home-school my kids
Spend more time volunteering at my kids' school
And so on, and soon. Contradictory messages; everyone has an opinion, and they all think they have a right to have one about my life.
And we're all in that situation. We're all under constant scrutiny as women. In the end all any of us can do is say, "I can't please everyone; I've got to do what I think is best" and leave it at that. And maybe leave it at that for our sisters, too.