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Post by tapati on Oct 30, 2009 22:13:18 GMT -5
Is there a particular issue you struggle with or a particular part of your body you have trouble accepting? Please ask any question related to improving your body image in this thread.
I will ask all participants to exercise the utmost sensitivity when responding to others in this and all other body image topic areas. I want to create as safe an environment as possible for what can often be a very painful issue.
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 22:08:10 GMT -5
Please, don't be shy! Ask away! In all of my years of body image classes I'm sure you won't shock me, and if you're thinking it, lots of other women are too.
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Post by Questioning on Nov 1, 2009 22:19:06 GMT -5
What about when you have an illness that leaves boils and tags all over your skin?? Particularly on your breasts, tummy, and inner thighs. How can you have a healthy outlook, when your body is literally unhealthy?
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 22:35:41 GMT -5
What about when you have an illness that leaves boils and tags all over your skin?? Particularly on your breasts, tummy, and inner thighs. How can you have a healthy outlook, when your body is literally unhealthy? Situations like this are definitely a challenge to a positive body image! There are all kinds of injuries and illnesses that leave one with unsightly scars, even on your face! Acceptance of these conditions or scars does take time, and I will be posting something tomorrow about one such situation I myself had to deal with involving large scars and illness, so stay tuned. I think the first thing you can do is to develop a sense that you and your body are in this together, two allies in a struggle with an illness or condition that is distressing both of you. In this way you view your body with compassion as a fellow sufferer rather than something that is afflicting YOU. Your body doesn't WANT to be ill! When you approach your body with love and compassion, then you are more likely to do what is recommended to care for it under this new circumstance. If you hate your body, you might neglect your treatment out of disgust or frustration. (I think the same way about a healthy diet--if we hate our body because of its weight, we probably aren't going to be motivated to eat well or exercise.) I hope this is helpful and please feel free to ask follow up questions.
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Post by kisekileia on Nov 1, 2009 23:02:39 GMT -5
Have your body image workshops often addressed women who are dissatisfied with what their bodies can do, rather than primarily with how their bodies look? I am OK with most aspects of how my body looks (other than my height of 5'0", which I hate because it makes me feel like a child), but I am not okay with my lack of physical coordination. I know now that the problem is related to a difference in how my brain functions, but I'm already afraid of what will happen when I have kids and can't play ball with them, and I can't shake the feeling that my body is somehow defective because I can't organize its movements well enough to perform most athletic activities or dance steps.
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 23:26:53 GMT -5
Have your body image workshops often addressed women who are dissatisfied with what their bodies can do, rather than primarily with how their bodies look? I am OK with most aspects of how my body looks (other than my height of 5'0", which I hate because it makes me feel like a child), but I am not okay with my lack of physical coordination. I know now that the problem is related to a difference in how my brain functions, but I'm already afraid of what will happen when I have kids and can't play ball with them, and I can't shake the feeling that my body is somehow defective because I can't organize its movements well enough to perform most athletic activities or dance steps. I think that these kinds of issues are part of body image 2.0 and that the body image movement needs to address it more. If I can get my own health in order enough to start offering classes again I want to do some targeted classes on physical health and ability issues. (That's why this chance to do a sort of online class is good because if I can't get to the point where I can schedule a class around my migraines, maybe I should do online courses.) It is difficult to not be able to do things that most people seem to do so easily. Of course we're going to feel a sense of loss and very real frustration, and it's tempting to be just plain mad at our body for what it can't do. My assignment for tomorrow (since it's still 8:14 Sunday evening where I am) is going to enable you to dialogue with your body. You might want to get a journal for this assignment or a little notebook even. Like the illness that can affect your appearance, it is good to feel like your body and you are in this together. Neither of you chose to lose this function. Your body likes to feel competent and agile and graceful and strong, just like you do. Some of these things you both can still manage, so one thing to do is focus on things that make you both feel more effective in other ways. So when you think about what you can't do, you can tell yourself, "Yes but look at what I can do!" Maybe you can be the one who teaches strength training to your kids or some other skill that doesn't require good coordination but instead uses another ability. There are so many other things you'll be able to do with your (future) kids. Of course this is also a great opportunity to model for them how to live with a physical/neurological condition! Our kids need to know how to cope when something happens to limit their own body's functioning. They need to know how to deal with adversity. Right now, in our society, they need to learn some lessons about saving money for a rainy day and what's really important in life, but those parents who try to shield them are preventing them from learning those lessons. Tune in tomorrow when I will be posting about how you can open up communication with your body. Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure lots of others who read it have something that doesn't work quite right (I have a long list now) and need to know what they can do about it. There are of course stages to go through to get to acceptance. We've all heard them in relation to death and dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They hold true for any loss of function, aging, illness, and so on. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_modelIt can also help to connect with others who are going through the same thing. If they are farther along in these stages they can help model your future acceptance and give you a vision of how life really can be good despite the frustrations you'll encounter.
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Post by castor on Nov 2, 2009 7:41:58 GMT -5
I have a question. It's not a question about a part of my body I have struggle accepting, but it does have to do with bodies and the way people see them.
Some months ago I met a boy, boy? man? he's 34, so, man I guess, he gave me his number. We talked. I thought it would be smart to tell him I'm not romantically interested in men, so I did. He answered that of course he'd thought about romance (but he didn't have any real feelings yet, we hadn't known each other for a long time), but that he was fine with just talking, maybe developing a friendship. So, since then we've been talking, and I wouldn't call him a friend yet, but we could very well become friends. Yesterday he told me he's only romantically interested in very pretty women and that he doesn't like women his age because they look "like they are forty". Thirty-four-year-old men look much better than thirty-four-year-old women. I really, really didn't like hearing this. It upset me. I'm still upset. I know people say worse things than this... but still...I didn't like hearing this is how he thinks about women. At all. And I don't like knowing that if he hadn't thought I was pretty (I don't think I'm pretty. I guess that's a body image issue right there), or if I'd been/looked older that time when we met we'd probably not be talking now. I didn't know what to say when he told me he only liked very pretty women who were younger than him. I was so surprised. So I didn't say a thing. I don't feel like talking to him now, at all. But I do wonder what would be a good way to deal with this in the future...
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 7:54:01 GMT -5
I have a question. It's not a question about a part of my body I have struggle accepting, but it does have to do with bodies and the way people see them. Some months ago I met a boy, boy? man? he's 34, so, man I guess, he gave me his number. We talked. I thought it would be smart to tell him I'm not romantically interested in men, so I did. He answered that of course he'd thought about romance (but he didn't have any real feelings yet, we hadn't known each other for a long time), but that he was fine with just talking, maybe developing a friendship. So, since then we've been talking, and I wouldn't call him a friend yet, but we could very well become friends. Yesterday he told me he's only romantically interested in very pretty women and that he doesn't like women his age because they look "like they are forty". Thirty-four-year-old men look much better than thirty-four-year-old women. I really, really didn't like hearing this. It upset me. I'm still upset. I know people say worse things than this... but still...I didn't like hearing this is how he thinks about women. At all. And I don't like knowing that if he hadn't thought I was pretty (I don't think I'm pretty. I guess that's a body image issue right there), or if I'd been/looked older that time when we met we'd probably not be talking now. I didn't know what to say when he told me he only liked very pretty women who were younger than him. I was so surprised. So I didn't say a thing. I don't feel like talking to him now, at all. But I do wonder what would be a good way to deal with this in the future... Oh, ick, I wonder if he felt like he could easily talk about his preference in women as if you were one of the guys or something. I can imagine how uncomfortable this made you. There are two separate issues here. One is that everyone has a "type" that they are most likely to find physically attractive. This can be influenced by media images, of course, and it can also be a reaction to early imprinting--a parent, first crush, and so on. Whatever his "type" for physical attraction, it doesn't feel like a choice to him. It feels matter-of-fact and automatic and he likely hasn't put any thought into why he has those attractions and not others. Since his "type" fits the cultural stereotypes he's probably heavily influenced by movies, magazines and TV without analyzing it. We can learn to broaden the range of people we find attractive if we're conscious of these societal influences. Plus once you date outside your "type" you'll find that if you come to love someone for the personality and inner spirit, they will become beautiful to you. When people make comments like this, it's fine to let them know that they make you uncomfortable. One way to do this without making the other person so defensive is to say that you're trying to avoid focusing on stereotypical beauty and instead want to broaden your notion of what is beautiful. One of the common sayings in body image work is that each flower is beautiful in its own way yet very different from other types of flowers. So, too, are people. Let him know that it would be helpful if he didn't talk that way around you, though of course you're not trying to tell him who to find attractive. Does that help?
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 7:56:13 GMT -5
And of course there is that sexism in the women of a certain age look older than men of the same age...that's odd and you can't really make blanket statements like that and have them be true. Age in women bothers him more, that's all. I would ask HIM to explain his reasoning in detail and he'll probably get embarrassed and run down at some point, never to bring it up again.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 8:01:31 GMT -5
I will be back this afternoon (early afternoon pacific time u.s.a.) to answer more questions, please don't be shy!
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Post by aussiemama on Nov 2, 2009 9:19:30 GMT -5
My butt is bigger now after 3 babies. In fact, when I go to Walmart to buy underwear, they think I'm a plus size. The ONLY problem I have with that is, I'm 24. I don't like to wear granny panties, but that's all that's available in my size. We can't afford for me to go to a special store and buy fancy panties. What's a woman to do? My husband says the granny panties are cute but I do not believe him and they are uncomfortable.
Why does Walmart assume that women with bigger butts only want to wear granny panties. Now granted, nobody but my husband can see them, but I know they are there and I feel like I'd feel more confident in myself with regular underwear.
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Post by jemand on Nov 2, 2009 9:58:31 GMT -5
can you find anything online? Thats pretty much the only idea I'd have... I'm sure there are some stores online that would cut into the store markup for underwear and yet still give more variety?
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mari
New Member
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Post by mari on Nov 2, 2009 11:37:03 GMT -5
Is there a particular issue you struggle with or a particular part of your body you have trouble accepting? My biggest issue is my stomach. I just don't like the way it looks and haven't for 20 years. The horizontal c-section I had 18 years ago hasn't helped this - yes, they cut me navel to stern. They said I was too fat for a bikini cut; I was only 150# at the time and was told six years ago by another OB/GYN that they'd fed me a load of shit and "butchered" me. It doesn't help that to this day, this very moment, the surgery area still gives me a lot of pain, sometimes intense pain. It hurts and I don't like how it looks to boot. I don't really know what I can do about any of it.
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kay
Junior Member
A fool hath no dialogue within himself, the first thought carrieth him without the reply of a second
Posts: 75
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Post by kay on Nov 2, 2009 11:54:37 GMT -5
Is there a particular issue you struggle with I would like some advice, though it may not be directly relating to my personal body image. I've spent years overcoming body image issues I've had and personally feel comfortable with my body at the moment. My issue is that, though I have a positive image about myself, the women around me don't. Each time I visit my mom, I hear about how we should both start exercising or how she needs to go on some fad diet because she is "fat". My mom is 5'-4" weighing less than me at 135 lbs, no where near overweight or unhealthy. When I respond with, "Well, I don't think I need to exercise more." or "I don't need to diet." She kind of gives me a disbelieving look. Though I try really hard to maintain my positive body image, it can get difficult when she consistently says things like this. It may not be so bad if I didn't also get it from my grandma, too. Last time she visited, she asked, "Are you still going to the Y [referring to the YMCA]?" When I replied, "No, I haven't been going much lately" she pinched my stomach fat and said, "What happened to all that exercising?" My question is: What would be the best way to respond to my mom and grandma (and other women like them) in a manner that would show what they are telling me is hurtful but not be offensive or upsetting to them?
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Post by Cassie on Nov 2, 2009 12:50:12 GMT -5
I guess I'll ask, since this is something that's been nibbling at me.
I'm a recovered anorexic. I must have done something awful to my body, because I literally can't eat the weight back on. At my most lush, I still find my best-fitting bras in children's... on the low end of that scale... and I mourn the curves I might have inherited from my mother if I hadn't interrupted Nature as a younger girl.
I feel like I'm not reflected anywhere in the media, even in the Pagan media, even in other alternative media -- there are no short, skinny chicks. I see plenty of bashing of my body type when I look for help in accepting this shape; nobody seems to realise that people like me can't model, either, not at 4'11", not with a softer belly than "washboard", and forget alt-modeling! Barely-A cups don't look good in those clothes.
I feel, in other words, like there's too much backlash, and it's catching women who experience problems on the other end of the spectrum.
So where am I supposed to go to find acceptance?
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 14:15:30 GMT -5
My butt is bigger now after 3 babies. In fact, when I go to Walmart to buy underwear, they think I'm a plus size. The ONLY problem I have with that is, I'm 24. I don't like to wear granny panties, but that's all that's available in my size. We can't afford for me to go to a special store and buy fancy panties. What's a woman to do? My husband says the granny panties are cute but I do not believe him and they are uncomfortable. Why does Walmart assume that women with bigger butts only want to wear granny panties. Now granted, nobody but my husband can see them, but I know they are there and I feel like I'd feel more confident in myself with regular underwear. There are plus size lingerie sources, and here's one that's affordable that I've been shopping at for years--I'm taking you straight to the page you need: www.jms.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/CategoryDisplay?cgnbr=4000000000Then cue up Sir Mixalot's Baby Got Back and enjoy! (Or Laura Love's Mahbootay.)
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 14:33:41 GMT -5
Is there a particular issue you struggle with or a particular part of your body you have trouble accepting? My biggest issue is my stomach. I just don't like the way it looks and haven't for 20 years. The horizontal c-section I had 18 years ago hasn't helped this - yes, they cut me navel to stern. They said I was too fat for a bikini cut; I was only 150# at the time and was told six years ago by another OB/GYN that they'd fed me a load of shit and "butchered" me. It doesn't help that to this day, this very moment, the surgery area still gives me a lot of pain, sometimes intense pain. It hurts and I don't like how it looks to boot. I don't really know what I can do about any of it. I am so sorry to hear that the doctors did that to you! In that sense, your abdomen has become what therapists refer to as a traumatic object. A traumatic object is one that reminds you forcibly of some trauma or psychological hurt you've endured. When you see it you are triggered to remember the original event with all of the feelings that go with it. It looks like you've never really had a chance to do anything to heal psychologically from this horrific invasion of your body. If those doctors are still around or you can find them, (or even if not, as a therapeutic device) you could write them a letter citing the other doctors' opinions about what they did and telling them exactly how it makes you feel all these years later. You can also open a dialog with your belly. As I mention in assignment two, you can write a letter to specific body parts and let them answer you back. You might devote a journal to this. Other things you can do are affirming, comforting things, like massaging your belly, maybe put on some belly dancing music while you do and make it an occasion. Add candle light for atmosphere! Really make love to your wounded belly--she has been dying for some positive attention all of these years. I find myself stroking my heart surgery scar, and it is strangely soothing. I feel as if I am acknowledging that my chest and I went through something extremely brutal and traumatic, however much it was meant for our own good. As your feelings about your belly change, and if you're physically able, you might join a belly dance class or get a belly dance instruction video and really focus in on the movements designed to show off your belly. Large women are welcomed in most belly dance classes I've seen and a large belly is not seen as something negative. You can also use body paints or get a tattoo or do other decorative things for your belly. As your feelings shift you might also do some mirror work--look at your belly in the mirror as you talk to it instead of writing letters. Get used to just plain seeing it--you've probably avoided looking at it. Find some pictures (assignment one) of women with bellies that resemble yours and post them. Find one positive word you can use to describe your belly and post it on your bathroom mirror. You can also bless your belly! Bless your belly for all that it does for you every day. Think of all the vital organs that your belly holds in and supports! Maybe do some exercises devoted to strengthening this core area of the body--which will also add support to your back. It's a process and you won't heal these feelings overnight. If you find you are still especially troubled over the surgery you might want to make an appointment with a therapist and devote some sessions to that particular issue.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 14:54:08 GMT -5
Is there a particular issue you struggle with I would like some advice, though it may not be directly relating to my personal body image. I've spent years overcoming body image issues I've had and personally feel comfortable with my body at the moment. My issue is that, though I have a positive image about myself, the women around me don't. Each time I visit my mom, I hear about how we should both start exercising or how she needs to go on some fad diet because she is "fat". My mom is 5'-4" weighing less than me at 135 lbs, no where near overweight or unhealthy. When I respond with, "Well, I don't think I need to exercise more." or "I don't need to diet." She kind of gives me a disbelieving look. Though I try really hard to maintain my positive body image, it can get difficult when she consistently says things like this. It may not be so bad if I didn't also get it from my grandma, too. Last time she visited, she asked, "Are you still going to the Y [referring to the YMCA]?" When I replied, "No, I haven't been going much lately" she pinched my stomach fat and said, "What happened to all that exercising?" My question is: What would be the best way to respond to my mom and grandma (and other women like them) in a manner that would show what they are telling me is hurtful but not be offensive or upsetting to them? Wow, family sure can push our buttons! First let's separate the issues of exercising for health from exercising because of poor body image. Lots of people think that OMG if I accept my body as it is that means I will just eat a ton and never exercise and blow up to a thousand pounds. I've had people say to me in body image workshops, "But you can't just eat what you want, that's not healthy!" and imply that we are saying everyone should just be a glutton and a couch potato and be happy with it. (Far from it, what we are really saying is that if you love your body you will want to take good care of it.) So that's what your family seems to think you are saying, that you just don't care about health any more. They are probably both worried out of their desire for you (and them) to conform to the ideal in this society and they naturally want you to be healthy and this talk of not needing to exercise etc. scares them. (Because aren't we moms and grandmas always worrying? I'm not Jewish but...oy.) Your mom may also have the agenda of wanting a partner to inspire her and make her commit to exercise, and she is of an age to know she needs to do so for her health. My daughter used to live in the same town and she got me to work out with her a few days a week and it was wonderful for us. (I realize this might not work for every mother/daughter pair.) We talked about every thing under the sun and I treasure that memory. If the thought of ever working out with your mom leaves you cold (I understand) then you can acknowledge that while it would be great you don't have the time in your schedule. Come up with one short phrase to indicate that you are already doing what you think is best for your health and stick to it. (This is called broken record.) It could be something affirming like "I love my curves; I don't want to lose them!" or "What do you mean? I think I'm pretty hot!" There's a great book on assertiveness techniques that I used with my overbearing family, Manuel Smith's When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. It has wonderful ways to deflect these kinds of comments that leave the other person wondering what happened and without any need to get nasty. One principle in dealing with criticism is acknowledging the grain of truth: "Sure mom, I probably need to work out more..." followed by the repetitive phrase. Pretty soon the person gets the idea that it really isn't ever going to work and they may even stop trying. (And really, don't most of us need to work out more? It could be said about most people.) This issue comes up a lot in the workplace where people bring up diets and complain about their bodies. It is hard to live in a fat hating world sometimes. I try to plant a seed whenever a small kid sees me and says something about my size, like "Wow, you're fat!" Quickly, before their parents can tell them that's a bad thing to say, I smile and say, "Yes, I am, isn't it wonderful how people come in all different sizes, tall, short, fat, and thin?" Sometimes the parent even smiles at me as their child takes this in. (I haven't received any negative reactions but then this is the liberal bay area.)
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 15:17:15 GMT -5
I guess I'll ask, since this is something that's been nibbling at me. I'm a recovered anorexic. I must have done something awful to my body, because I literally can't eat the weight back on. At my most lush, I still find my best-fitting bras in children's... on the low end of that scale... and I mourn the curves I might have inherited from my mother if I hadn't interrupted Nature as a younger girl. I feel like I'm not reflected anywhere in the media, even in the Pagan media, even in other alternative media -- there are no short, skinny chicks. I see plenty of bashing of my body type when I look for help in accepting this shape; nobody seems to realise that people like me can't model, either, not at 4'11", not with a softer belly than "washboard", and forget alt-modeling! Barely-A cups don't look good in those clothes. I feel, in other words, like there's too much backlash, and it's catching women who experience problems on the other end of the spectrum. So where am I supposed to go to find acceptance? You are very right--there has been a backlash, although the fat acceptance movement realizes that and has tried to advocate for naturally thin women too, changing some of their language to size acceptance, for example. In workshops even in the early 90s we tried to make it a point that you can't assume thin women are dieting or starving any more than you can assume every fat woman is gorging herself. Some women have NOT gotten this message! There is a very good LJ post on the subject: spookysquirrel.livejournal.com/280147.htmlThe only truly thin images I see in pagan media is in the overlapping area of fantasy art--some of the fairy pics for example. I know you are not alone! Here is a link to four articles: www.helium.com/knowledge/71410-tips-for-understanding-thin-women-body-image-issuesIt is ultimately a matter of public education but that's difficult when you have to live in and deal with the ignorant people of today! The other issue, just as important, is how you feel about what you think of as your lost curves. It sounds like you blame yourself for not keeping them--and that can lead to viewing your current body as a punishment of some sort. I know what it's like to feel as if your past choices affect your current body size, because my yo-yo dieting contributed to my own weight issues. Your anorexia may have felt like a choice at the time but it was not; it was an illness. (Thankfully you got better!) Maybe as you age and your metabolism slows the curves will return, maybe not. You need to grieve for them and let them go to embrace the body you have now. Maybe you can create a ritual to let go of the old you and honor her curves. There's a reason we have funerals; they give us closure and solace. Next, embrace and empower the body you have. Figure out what advantages you have in the world in a leaner frame. Can you fit through a turn style with ease? Feel more comfortable on an airline seat? What sports embrace your body type? What activities are you better at? You might try martial arts--there is a surprising advantage in having a lean body (yes even short!) that can move quickly. In dance, a partner can do a lift with you that would hurt them if they tried it with me! I used to lament my small hands--really I feel like I have the world's shortest fingers, they look like a larger version of a baby's hands. One day my husband did the dishes and I found something in the bottom of the glass. I showed it to him and he said, "You know, I try to use the scrubby thing but I can't reach far enough down." I was surprised because I do so with ease and I thought, "Wow, there is an advantage to having small hands!" I'd never thought of that. You know women mechanics have an easier time getting into some parts of the engine than men do? Beauty comes in all sizes--and that's more than a catchphrase!
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Post by Cassie on Nov 2, 2009 15:26:14 GMT -5
Thank you so much. Grieving what I perceive as lost really does resonate with me -- maybe I'm emotional this time of the month, but I did get pretty teary-eyed reading your response. It's a good thing. Feeling is a good thing, drat it.
Thank you, most of all, for hearing and understanding.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 15:35:32 GMT -5
Thank you so much. Grieving what I perceive as lost really does resonate with me -- maybe I'm emotional this time of the month, but I did get pretty teary-eyed reading your response. It's a good thing. Feeling is a good thing, drat it. Thank you, most of all, for hearing and understanding. You're very welcome. Thank you for being brave enough to talk about it, I am sure other women will read this and it will resonate with them, too. This concept of grieving for the lost body also applies to aging issues, btw, and also a formerly healthy body for someone who becomes chronically ill or loses some function.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 16:30:11 GMT -5
I want to thank all of you brave women for sharing your stories and body image concerns with me. I'm fiercely multi-tasking today but I'll be back later to answer more.
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Nov 2, 2009 19:00:12 GMT -5
I'm just here for support. I too am really tiny (barely 5 feet with shoes and not quite 100 pounds); I look like a 12 year old boy! It's kind of annoying (I do have hips and some boobs, but you just can't tell they're there because clothes do not fit. sorry, but I do not have the money to tailor everything to make it fit me nor the time to spend an entire day shopping to find one thing ... oh and don't get me started on the pervy old guys with a thing for young girls. lol) but what can you do? At least we're not alone guys.
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mari
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Post by mari on Nov 2, 2009 23:09:20 GMT -5
A traumatic object is one that reminds you forcibly of some trauma or psychological hurt you've endured. When you see it you are triggered to remember the original event with all of the feelings that go with it. And I remember all the pain and misery of being pregnant. For me, being pregnant wasn't a happy-happy joy-joy time. It was horrible. I hated it. I see that scar, or if my pants aren't fitting right, then I'm thrown back into all of that and just ... depressed. Shopping and wearing clothes is the pits, honestly. It's hard to find pants that don't irritate my navel and the c-section scar. I have to be careful of buttons, waistbands, and zippers. And for sitting around the house, I buy pants that are one size too big so I know I'll be comfortable and not in pain. I used to belly dance ... I keep saying I'm going to get back into it. But some moves I can't do - like belly rolls - and that's frustrating, so I stop. I'm self-defeatist, I know! I need to get over myself. Am in therapy now working on my panic disorder - in fact, today I started the first of twelve group sessions - I'll add this to my notes to see if this is something my therapist and I can discuss together. Thanks for all of the advice you gave in this post.
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mari
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Post by mari on Nov 2, 2009 23:10:56 GMT -5
My butt is bigger now after 3 babies. I go to Lane Bryant and catch their sales. I have some fantastic underpants that I got for $2 a pair!
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