33 comments:
Anonymous said...
I remember wishing I could be a boy when I was little too. All the time.
Berea
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...
Angel Renee: "I never argued, just asked God through angry tears why I had to be a girl."
And this is why I hate the male favoring gospel of Patriarchy which is in no way any sort of gospel (good news) for women and girls.
What was meant to liberate and bring freedom has been twisted into a deep bondage.
I am so sorry Angel Renee.
I'm glad you are finally out.
Mara
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Jadehawk said...
~~cyberhugs~~
this is absolutely horrible...I can't imagine how horrible all that must have been! especially the touching! I'm uncomfortable when they do that at the airports, and then it's a woman doing it, a stranger who pats down probably a hundred women a day, not my own family
I will comment on something else though: I know how you feel about the dresses thing... my mom had this thing about making me a girly girl for a while and wouldn't let me wear pants either. but at least she gave up on that when I continued climbing trees in a skirt!! Long skirts are indeed designed to hamper movement. it's part of a long tradition of impractical clothing for women: in medieval times, some lady's dresses even had huge, loose sleeves with no exit holes, thus making it impossible for the woman do grasp anything by herself. it was a symbol of wealth, since it meant that the lady's husband had servants that did everything for his wife, and she was just supposed to "stand there and look pretty".
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
adventuresinmercy said...
(((hugs)))
I'm so glad you and your mom have been set free.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
blk said...
I am so glad you have escaped from that.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
LotusGeek said...
I stumbled upon this site from one of the atheist sites I keep up with - and I have been fascinated (and horrified, and sorrowful) for the lives your family suffered - and survived.
I am going to continue reading, but I just wanted to say that I am VERY glad (and impressed) that your (Angel's) story, as well as your mom's, has a "happy ending".
I do have a few questions, Angel - how are things for you now? Do you have trouble coping with your childhood? If so, are you seeking counseling? I hope your life is now full of TRUE love and REAL joy - the joy that comes from being your own person, living your own life, and not the life prescribed for you by some 2000 yr old book or some old man's interpretation of that book.
One final note: Please know that there is a vast community of non-theistic people here who are more than willing to provide you (and your family) a support network. If you still feel the need to be a part of a local community, I would encourage you to check out Unitarian Universalism. I am an atheist, humanist, and a UU. It is a place where my family and I can be ourselves - an "outed" (and proud) atheist family - and we are fully accepted and embraced there. Hell, I even teach RE (Religious Education - "Sunday School"). You can read more about UU at
www.uua.orgCongratulations to you and your family for getting out of the hell you have been through. It is a testament to your strength that you're still here.
Take care, Angel.
--Rock, aka LotusGeek
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
Thats horrible Angel, and the twisting of the scriptures is even more horrible. I know that in the name of "God" many have done horrible things. As if they are somehow exempt of the many scriptures that do defend women and children and people in general. There is no favoritism in God! I'm glad you got out of that situation. I was part of what I now see as a cult too and it took me about 10 years to deprogram. At first I had a terrible time with "authorities".....amazingly God worked in my heart slowly...when I saw that not ALL christians have the same fundamental, hierarchy way of looking at God and interpreting scripture. I went from being extremely prideful and pharisee like to realizing I was just like anyone else. I had been a christian exteriorly, works oriented, dotting every t, but my heart was prideful, bitter, vengeful and full of pain.
I still will not trust any "man" or "woman" for that manner, because I know too much, but God has had mercy on me and I see his grace. Oh my what I have missed for so long. How my heart has rested. God is good, it is man who has distorted him. I pray that you and your loved ones will get to know the true "living" God, "the God who sees", the one "who cares", the one that "will never leave you nor forsake you" even if father and mother forsakes you, the one "who died, that you should live".
Eph 5:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Col 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
2 Th. 2:11 as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father [does] his own children,
(The father has the job of comforting, protecting...not discouraging
or making angry)
Mic 2:1Woe to those who devise iniquity, And work out evil on their beds! At morning light they practice it, Because it is in the power of their hand....
Mic 2:8-10 "Lately My people have risen up as an enemy-- You pull off the robe with the garment From those who trust [you], as they pass by, Like men returned from war. The women of My people you cast out From their pleasant houses; From their children You have taken away My glory forever. "Arise and depart, For this [is] not [your] rest; Because it is defiled, it shall destroy, Yes, with utter destruction.
March 9:42 But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.
Mat 23:1-4 Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, saying: "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
Thank you for posting my comment. Its the one that starts "Thats horrible Angel......" Um I put March 9:42 and it should say Mark 9:42 he he. There isn't a book of March in the scriptures :0).
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
EK said...
Child abuse, child abuse, child abuse.
I recoil at the humiliating spectacle of two adult men--I don't care their relationship to you--daily eyeing your child's body with hawk vision to determine if you met their warped personal (not Biblical) standards. I'm sorry to say this, but, blindness notwithstanding, your stepfather's regular, "exploratory" feeling of your person may indeed meet definitions of child abuse.
I don't want you to feel like you need to share more stories if it causes you so much pain to remember them, Angel Renee. But, if it's a form of catharthis for you and a way of exerting power over your past oppression...we are listening with open ears and open hearts.
Berea (and Angel),
I want you two kick-butt young women to know that many non-fundamentalist, non-Christian, and irreligious women have experienced the exact same feelings of despair over being born female into a world that devalues, shames, impedes, and exploits us.
I was fortunate to have been born into a household that never made mention of my gender and that took it for granted that I MUST excel (often beating boys and male colleagues) at whatever academic, social, or athletic enterprise I undertook.
But, as I got older, I realized the (secular Western) world retained an immense anti-woman (and anti-minority) pathology that underlay society and all its engines. I was belittled by male bosses, passed over for certain scholarships and job opportunities that went to men with shockingly lesser qualifications, and talked down to by male professors in graduate school who did not take my research seriously. I have been asked by people with authority if my student loans are worth taking out (i.e. if I should have gone to grad school at all), because "there's a NY Times article that came out recently that says highly educated women just end up dropping out of the workforce to raise babies, anyway." Like many women in cities, I endure daily street harassment by men (catcalling is a form of male hostility towards women, NOT a compliment as many men assert). I have to open up newspapers whose reports on Sarah Palin's beauty queen figure and Hillary Clinton's "pantsuits" are like a hard slap across my face.
In the midst of this madness, I occasionally found myself, for the first time in my life, wondering why I had to have been saddled with this accident of birth that opens me up to such injustices (while all the while, the far right social conservatives around me smugly proclaimed that 21st century women have no legitimate grievances and that feminists who suggest otherwise are "playing the victim.")
So, please note that your thoughts are (sadly) very common/normal amongst other people and groups who are systmatically put down on account of states of birth they could not control.
Misogyny and racism are the rotten cores of a society that claims to be "advanced" but which, as Christian Patriarchy, FLDS, Girls Gone Wild, and the 2008 U.S. political campaign show, are in many ways dangerously regressive.
We must redouble our efforts to excise these ills from our midst.
Angel Renee, your posting here (and Vyckie and Laura), is a punch in the face of patriarchy!
Good for you.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Grandma Lou Ann said...
Angel, my dear grandaughter,Berea, Chasse' all of you...right now you are feeling anger even at God for allowing all of this to happen in your lives...I did too. It's understandable.
King David was angry, depressed, probably shook his fist heavenward more than once.
One time when I was feeling thoroughly unloved EXCEPT by Jesus, I wrote this poem, and now share it with ALL the brave women on this blog who are coming out of opression and into the light:
Little Girl Lost
Little girl lost, where do you go?
Where do you hide, when you're hurting so?
Little girl lost, dreams shattered and torn,
Often regretting the day you were born!
Little girl lost, you need a new birth!
There is Someone who knows what you're worth!
Worth His life; He gave it for you!
Now with His love, your dreams can come true!
You were no child, little girl, not ever.
You had to grow up, witty and clever.
Little girl lost, be found! Be whole!
With your new birth comes a brand new soul!
Little girl FOUND! The angels rejoice!
Give praise to Jesus, for YOU are His choice!!!
Love,
Grandma
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Sarah said...
As a former attendee of the same homechurch, I couldn't continue to read and not post.
Angel, I wanted to send you love and support, and let you know that I understand the personal strength it takes to be honest and vulnerable about this subject. I'm not sure what else I want to say publicly, but please send love and support to Laura. I lived with them for a short time, and she may remember me. Perhaps I should read this book as well.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
LotusGeek said...
Grandma, I think it is great that you're here to support your family and the other women who have gone through the same thing, but I would be wary of looking towards King David as a role model. Here's some rather lengthy observations made about the story of David from Samuel:
SA 18:27 So that David might be allowed to marry the king's daughter, the king asks David to bring him 100 Philistine foreskins. David does the job right and brings the king not 100, but 200, foreskins of murdered Philistines.
SA 5:13, 20:3 David had many concubines.
SA 6:14, 16, 20-23 David dances and exposes himself to his maids. (His wife, Michal rebukes him for having done so, and as a consequence she is made barren.)
SA 12:11-12 The Lord is going to punish David for his sin by taking his wives and causing his neighbor to have sexual relations with them in public.
SA 13:1-14 King David's son, Amnon, rapes his half-sister, Tamar.
KI 1:1-4 David was old, and although covered with clothes, could not get warm. A beautiful, young virgin is brought in to be his concubine and nurse. But alas, he was so old and infirm that he "knew her not."
Now this is just the stuff I could remember and find in an online Bible; I know there's more, especially around concubines and such. David was a wild man before he was King, and he pretty much kept it up. Yes, David is just a man, but he's not a man to be admired, in my opinion.
One more thing: The ONLY reference for King David, ANYWHERE, is in the Bible. Historians aren't even sure if he existed.
Let me wrap up by saying that I think it is sweet and loving that you're trying to help Angel feel better, and the intent of your poem is sweet and loving; however if Angel feels as her mother does now (atheist), I can promise you she is much more in need of your love and comfort than she is in Jesus'.
I hope this is taken in the spirit it was written. I am not intending this as some type of attack; I am simply trying to show that quite often the characters in the Bible aren't exactly that admirable. I also hope to gently nudge you, Grandma, towards less "love through religion" and more love from your heart, because I know your heart is swollen with love for your family.
Peace,
--Rock, aka LotusGeek
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
Angel, as a mom, I'm just wishing I could hold the little girl that was you, and tell that past-person that it was all lies, all of it, and that you were born to be free.
I have a 14-year-old girl that I (and her father) have raised to KNOW that she is just as capable as any man and just as worthy.
EK is right-- patriarchy is bound deep into our world systems-- but we can be part of the solution.
KR Wordgazer
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Charis said...
Thank you, Grandma Lou Ann,
What a deeply touching poem!
Love, Charis
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Charis said...
Vyckie or Angel,
I'm not sure how old the other children who read the blog are? Please click through to the link to see if you want them to know of this before passing it through moderation.
When I was a budding teenager of an alcoholic father, he started dressing me up and taking me on "dates". My mother was very jealous of our closeness. He even took me away alone on vacation where we saw some "adult" movies. I was very uncomfortable with that. I had never seen anyone naked besides my mother. But I felt special, and it was not until I was in my 40's that I realized that he had engaged in a form of sexual abuse called "covert incest".
A fathers focus on gender, sexuality, women's clothing, etc within the Patriarchy movement is very disturbing to me. I could easily see it becoming covertly incestuous. One of the videos of "the visionary daughters" which used to be posted online (but has since been edited out) had a segment speaking of the adult daughters as staying home to "serve their fathers" and even referred to them as their fathers' "help meet". This biblical term is reserved for a wife.
Here's a little clip from a website (link) with collected resources about "Botkins Syndrome":
QUOTE:
"WHAT IS "BOTKIN SYNDROME"?
The dysfunctional dynamics and long-term effects of the teachings of the Botkin Sisters and Vision Forum (Covert/emotional incest, non-sexual but gender related incest intermingled with the the teachings of patriarchy/patriocentricity) ENDQUOTE
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
aimai said...
Angel,
You've had an amazing life for a child and what is more important you are going to have the strength and the experience to have an amazing life as an adult. I just wanted you to know that you have really impressed the readers here. We are all mothers and daughters too, and grown women to boot. I have a lot of faith, reading what you've written, that you are going to just blossom in this new world your mother has fought to bring you to. I say to you what I say to my daughter "with teeth like that, I could have devoured the world!" Get out there and climb that tree of knowledge and eat that apple!
aimai
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
I posted last night and that should have been enough.
But I just can't get over this teaching that makes girls angry with God for making them girls.
I love my daughters and as far as I can tell, they love being girls.
We sit and watch "girl" movies together like Madaline, Annie (the one with Carol Bernett as Mrs. Hanigan), Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, and others I can't think of right now. We love those and it's a great bonding time. I wish I could have invited Angel and Berea and whatever other girls who needed a boost into appreciating their own girlhood (the NOT patriarchy kind!!!)
My youngest plays sports. She loves basketball and softball. He team, our 5th grade girl's basketball team this year, is better than our 5th grade boys team.
Her softball coach sent out a flyer that had a clip art on it that said, "Don't you wish you hit like a girl."
Sorry, I laughed at that one and rejoiced in my daughter's girlhood and that she lives in a community that rejoices in it as much as I do. They appreciate her height (she tall), her strength, her speed, her agility... And no one tries to press her back into a box labeled "biblical femininity".
Mara Reid
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Volly said...
The whole topic of QF fathers being so over-invested in their daughters' sexuality leads naturally to a discussion of "purity balls" and other such current fads. Linked to this, also, is the whole "abstinence-only" movement.
I'd have more to say but it's hard to type while holding your nose (LOL).
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Arietty said...
You know I had nothing against Purity rings, hey people are free to embrace any symbolism and lifestyle they like BUT.. when I realized that in many cases the girl is presented a Purity ring by her father I was just totally grossed out. There is just something weird and icky about your father giving you jewelery (in imitation of an engagement ring scenario) so you can promise God (and your father) that you will not have sex until you marry. Don't young girls feel embarrassed having to talk about sex with their fathers like that? Or is it all so couched in spiritual terms that no one ever admits that it's about keeping your hymen intact for your husband?
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
Stepdad's manual clothing checks strike me as creepy, invasive, and inappropriate. If he still does this with the other children, it may be something to bring up with family court.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Jadehawk said...
Arietty, what bugs me most about the purity rings on young teens is that I get the impression they're being pressured into wearing them, rather than making a choice for themselves. I mean, can you really imagine the dad saying he wants to take his daughter to a purity ball, and the daughter responding with "yeah, i don't think that's for me, dad"?
It's one thing to decide that you really want to have that special wedding night, and another to be pressured by your dad into that promise, and then feeling immensely guilty every time you feel the tingles. that's guaranteed to mess you up sexually forever.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...
I am a mom of a 16yo daughter. When we talk about purity, it is not about the hymen...It is about the emotional problems that come with premarital relationships and sex. Who do you think should speak with their children about sex? Maybe the state? Our children are actually not even our children. They were given to us by God to care for, for Him. If a king entrusted his royal children to us toraise would we send them off to a state run school and encourage them to develop relationship after relationship? Very few royal children are allowed to marry "commoners" and when they do there is always problems.
There is nothing wrong with talking to our children about purity. Yes, there may be some creepy type patriarchal stuff going on out there, but again it comes back to there is some pretty creepy stuff going on the houses around town and we can't blame it on their religion or beliefs.
Blaming it on a particular "movement" is like saying "Most doctors are women grouping child molesters after it is in the new that a psychologist and a dentist groped women."
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
poptartodoom said...
I didn't grow up in the Quiverfull movement, but I was raised conservative Christian and attended a conservative Christian college, and was spiritually abused throughout by well-meaning people who were convinced that if I just "had more faith," God would heal me of the mental illness I struggle with. I still wear a promise ring my parents gave me when I was thirteen (at this point because it's pretty and I can't get it back off), and it's messed with my head ever since. I just turned twenty-five and have a boyfriend I decided to give my virginity to. The past two years in which I discovered I am a sexual creature with desires have been agony, because I was convinced that I am damning myself to hell by wanting to have sex with someone I'm not yet married to. I finally did, and I wasn't immediately struck down by a lightning bolt and he didn't immediately dump me because he got what he wanted or any of the other scare tactics employed to keep us girls in line. A lifetime of brainwashing has done nothing but give me agony and heartbreak, but I think I might be nearly free now.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Charis said...
By way of personal confession regarding "modesty". I want to put this here because I'm sure there are other QF daughters who may read this whose mothers were the "modesty police". In my case, my husband was not the one who cared about it. It was I- the QF mom- who hurt my children in this realm.
I consider myself part of the QF movement, but I don't really fit the stereotype. We aren't in the Bible belt. We have lived mainly in the liberal northeast and in the midwest. And my husband and I are highly educated- he has a PhD; I have a masters. I never was into the dresses. We wear jeans mainly and shorts in the summer.
I realized through counseling at age 40something that what my father had done to me was abusive (its in a comment above- link). Concurrently, I also realized that I had been abusive to my own children regarding modesty and movies. I had to repent and beg their forgiveness. I had been the modesty gestapo- confiscating tank tops and tight jeans. And I was very angry that we had R-rated movies in the house (I had no say- my husband wanted them, so we had them. It drove me absolutely wild with anger and fear that a movie which might be OK for my 17 yo son was playing where his siblings of ages 11,8,6,4, and 2 could hear that language and be imprinted with those images).
I explained to my children that my desire to have standards of modesty and media consumption was not wrong but that my harshness and anger was very wrong and that I was motivated by a desire to protect them from what happened to me. My daughters are very attractive, and subconsciously, I was terrified that if they dressed to show it, they would be abused and molested- as I had been repeatedly as a teenager.
My children were very understanding and forgiving, and my confession went a long way toward healing in the strained relationship with the daughter who was 15 at the time and had been the brunt of a lot of my modesty policing. She was not as compliant with my standards as the first daughter had been. She told me that my harshness had just made her want to disobey my rules- she would sneak out with boyfriends and such since age 12.
Nowadays, at 20, she has had the same boyfriend since she was 14 and they are getting married this summer. I used to think of him as "the enemy" who was going to hurt my daughter. I had to apologize and make amends to him too. He is a fine young man, very kind and considerate to my daughter.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Linnea said...
Anonymous above writes: Very few royal children are allowed to marry "commoners" and when they do there is always problems.
What does this mean? If all children are sent by God, who are the "commoners"? Unbelievers?
I am all in favor of encouraging teenagers to postpone sex until they are adults, but I personally don't believe that having sex before marriage, or having more than one relationship, necessarily leads to problems. If anything, making a lifelong commitment to the first person who strikes a spark in you can be dangerous. It's *especially* dangerous for a young woman to make that commitment when she doesn't have any higher education, any job experience or marketable skills - if it turns out that she chose wrong, she may be trapped, financially, into staying in the marriage.
The trouble with saying "you can't have sex until marriage" is that it encourages young people to rush into marriage because they want sex.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Jadehawk said...
what linnea said.
we should teach our children how to make the right choices for themselves, teach them about all the options, teach them to never let themselves be pressured into anything.
also, children aren't "on loan from god". they're not cars, or pets. they're people, their very own persons. their lives, their choices. parents are there to teach them how to make the best choices, but we should never make the decisions for them and force our own morality on them.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
aimai said...
I agree with Linnea on this one and not with the anonymous poster up above who is worried that her children might have sex before marriage. It must be obvious that even within a strict christian interpretation of salvation and being born again that past sins (if you think of sexuality as sinful, which I do not) are no bar to developing a meaningful and correct relationship with god later in life. Far from it. Many quiverful women and religious people have sinned, as they saw it, and then renounced sin. So the daughter and son of such a person, if they stray, is not permanently harmed--are they? So why all the fuss.
I personally think that learning to love the right person may require loving a few wrong ones first--only in that way, like tasting lots of pots of soup, can we know what is right for us. Sex isn't some extremely bizarre or life changing act that permanently stamps the individual. Its just one of many things that we can do--excercise? cooking? hugging? swimming? playing the piano? We can have many teachers, and learn to do it more or less proficiently and with loving intention.
This fantasy that public schools are a place where kids are locked up and told about sex is bizarre, almost as bizarre as the notion that a fully formed human being can get by knowing as little about their bodies and potentials as people living 2000 years ago knew. Children are people, too, and they have a right to know how their bodies function, how reproduction works, what a sexually communicable disease is, and what pregnancy and childbearing is like. Because ultimately they have to be able to make an informed choice for themselves. Despite all the purity balls and purity rings their father doesn't have the right to make that determination for them.
aimai
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Arietty said...
LOL, aimai, yes as a fundie christian I was just KNEW that the public schools taught children all manners of evil when it came to sex. So once out of that and when my older kids were in public high school I made a point of reading the whole Health course they were required to do. It was very basic stuff, biology of reproduction, quick run down of contraception, huge emphasis on STDS and AIDS including a "terrifying" film which my son said put the fear of venereal disease into him. And that was it. Now what I think such courses DO need is to discuss relationships and how to think about them in terms of them being healthy or not, discussion of abuse etc.. the stuff taught is just a bunch of basic facts and absolutely unworthy of the fear christians have about it.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
emf1947 said...
Anonymous said, "If a king entrusted his royal children to us toraise[sic] would we send them off to a state run school and encourage them to develop relationship after relationship?"
I don't follow the logic here.If a king entrusted his royal children to me to rear it would indicate he either
a) trusted me to use my best judgement or
b) didn't care how they were reared or he'd be doing it himself. Either way, they'd be going to public school.
The closest I've come to childcare for royalty is hosting a student whose father was a minor member of their king's court. And yes, she went to our local public school with the rest of the local peasants, same as she did at home, and her parents were grateful to us for providing her with the opportunity.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Anonymous said...
"Now what I think such courses DO need is to discuss relationships and how to think about them in terms of them being healthy or not, discussion of abuse etc.. the stuff taught is just a bunch of basic facts and absolutely unworthy of the fear christians have about it."
I think something that's crucial here is education about the meaning of *consent.* Wherever the schools aren't bogged down in "abstinence only education," they keep it on a "just the facts, please" level. There is no discussion of rape, and no discussion of what consent means. As a result of this, a lot of women realize only years later that they have been raped or sexually assaulted.
In terms of relationships, I also think it would be good to have some kind of assertiveness training. That is, lots of people never learn how to talk about sex and sexuality, and they enter into long term adult relationships without the ability to say, "This is what I like, and this is what I don't like." We could really do a lot better with sex education all around in this country.
I teach classes on a college campus, and a couple of years ago, I was startled when one of my classes turned into sex education (I teach politics). I was in a very, very liberal, cosmopolitan city, and students were asking me about things like: how AIDS is contracted and why it is "easier" for women in het relationships to contract STDs than men. They did not understand the most basic "safe sex" guidelines, and it freaked me out a little... I escaped "abstinence only education," but just a few years after me, the US is breeding this generation of people who do not know the most basic facts about how to keep themselves safe.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Anonymous said...
Angel:
Thank you for this post. This is heartbreaking, and I'm glad that you got out of it.
wrt the commenter who mentions "family court":
"He simply substituted looking with touching. As I grew older, I dreaded changing clothes. Dad would run his hands all over my body..."
This sounds very much like it fits the definition of child sexual abuse to me. I think you allude to this as well when you mention your way of deflecting questions about abuse in "normal" churches. I hope that you have a support network that can help you deal with this history.
What kind of visitation/custody rights does he have with your younger siblings, and is there any chance that he may have done this to them as well? Or that it could be continuing? I hope that all of your other siblings are safe. I'm glad your mother has taken the necessary steps to get your family out of there, and I hope everyone is safe? This person sounds like a sexual predator who really should not be alone with children.
Ugh... I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
Anyway, I just ordered the book.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Barbara W. said...
Count me in as another one who thought the modesty-check-by-touch thing was creepy.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Wendy said...
Angel, my stepfather required me to participate in creepy-but-not-exactly-sexual touching. (I had to rub his feet every day.) In my 40's now, I still share traits with victims of sexual abuse. (Just typing this makes me feel like I need a shower! blech)
On another topic, I remember vividly the day that each of my 3 daughters asked if god is a man or woman. When I shared this story with a male friend, he just didn't get why it would matter.
Sunday, April 12, 2009