Hello Bunny, and welcome...
Seems everyone is offline right now, but I dug around in some stuff I originally had researched when worried about Vyckie, and am going to try and post it right here, hopefully it works because it could help a LOT of people with friends like yours who may be in "over their heads" so to speak:
Maybe if you could print this out for your friend so she can read it? Also some of Vyckie's and Laura's stories about nearly dying in childbirth, being dog-dead tired, etc. and made by their own religious groups to feel worthless if they questioned anything...
Sincerely,
Grandma Lou
Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships.htm :
| Abusive Relationships | Warning Signs | Healthy vs Abusive | Effects of Abuse |
| Personality Types | Anger and Rage | Links | What to Do |
| About BPD | Abusive Relationships and BPD |
|Abusive Relationship Readings |
|BPD Site|BPD Sanctuary |
You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of bad relationships.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.
Does the person you love...
• constantly keep track of your time?
• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?
• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)
• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
• have affairs?
• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?
What to do if this sounds familiar:
You may wish to read the characteristics of healthy and abusive relationships page.
If you feel you are in an abusive relationship read how to handle it here.
| Abusive Relationships | Warning Signs | Healthy vs Abusive | Effects of Abuse |
| Personality Types | Anger and Rage | Links | What to Do |
| About BPD | Abusive Relationships and BPD |
|Abusive Relationship Readings |
|BPD Site|BPD Sanctuary |
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