Post by nightowl on May 15, 2009 12:14:18 GMT -5
Hello. I've lurked since this boards creation, but someone always expresses my exact opinion much more eloquently than I ever could, so I rarely post.
I am 26, mother of three little men, and wife to a horribly emasculated, and secretly miserable husband....or at least that's what my Southern Baptist family keeps trying to tell us he is. He is happily oblivious to his feminism-caused malady.
I grew up in a ridiculously conservative Southern Baptist town in South Georgia. I never fit in. I wasn't faithful enough, or submissive enough, and geez....I just asked way too many questions when it wasn't my place. Most of them liked me well enough, they just knew they better not get too attached to me because I was obviously going to roast in hell. LOL. My mom is moderately religious, although strongly adhered to the patriarchal beliefs and lifestyle. She's kowtowed to all three of her husbands, and it got her nothing but heartache, betrayal, and physically worn down. It doesn't help at all that her taste in men is atrocious. Beyond her love life and taste in men....my mother is awesome. She is my best friend. And even she eventually had to get out of that church and the area of its influence.
My father, who split when I was 4 for another woman, didn't have much of a role at all in our lives until I was 16. He is a strange person. He completely changes personalities every 7 years or so....so it's very difficult to get to know or understand him. We had about 2 1/2 years of really nice normalcy before he descended into fundMENTAL madness. He and my step-mother (whom I love dearly) left the SBC church that she grew up in because if was too "liberal" and joined with this splinter group who follow Dominionist beliefs and they formed their own very strict, very conservative church. And my father assumed his "rightful place" as head of our family. They yanked my nephew (who they are raising) out of his private Christian school so that they could better control what he was exposed to and taught. All members of the church had to sign a membership contract promising to follow the preachers rules, and detailing the activities that they could and could not take part of in their private lives.
I was lucky. I was grown and away from any type of control he might try to exert over me....doubly lucky because I was the only girl, and he believed that he should have the last say over every decision in my life. If I had been young enough that he had some kind of say over me, or dependent on him in any aspect of my life, things would have been much different. I feel so sorry for my nephew. He's 8 years old and is taught nothing that doesn't come straight from the Bible and has no contact with anyone that doesn't think exactly like my dad does. He's like a little fundamentalist action figure....push his button and he spouts fundy beliefs and Bible quotes.
I also feel sorry for my step-mother. She went into this willingly, but only because my father believed so strongly in it. She's so beat down and lifeless now where she used to be so vibrant and fun.
So...that's my background. I've moved on, and found my path in eclectic paganism. That's the label I give it anyway. I know that I'm going to have a huge fight on my hands later on when my boys get old enough that my father thinks he can demand that they be "exposed" to his beliefs too. But I can handle that. And right now, I am in a much better place spiritually than I ever have been before.
I am 26, mother of three little men, and wife to a horribly emasculated, and secretly miserable husband....or at least that's what my Southern Baptist family keeps trying to tell us he is. He is happily oblivious to his feminism-caused malady.
I grew up in a ridiculously conservative Southern Baptist town in South Georgia. I never fit in. I wasn't faithful enough, or submissive enough, and geez....I just asked way too many questions when it wasn't my place. Most of them liked me well enough, they just knew they better not get too attached to me because I was obviously going to roast in hell. LOL. My mom is moderately religious, although strongly adhered to the patriarchal beliefs and lifestyle. She's kowtowed to all three of her husbands, and it got her nothing but heartache, betrayal, and physically worn down. It doesn't help at all that her taste in men is atrocious. Beyond her love life and taste in men....my mother is awesome. She is my best friend. And even she eventually had to get out of that church and the area of its influence.
My father, who split when I was 4 for another woman, didn't have much of a role at all in our lives until I was 16. He is a strange person. He completely changes personalities every 7 years or so....so it's very difficult to get to know or understand him. We had about 2 1/2 years of really nice normalcy before he descended into fundMENTAL madness. He and my step-mother (whom I love dearly) left the SBC church that she grew up in because if was too "liberal" and joined with this splinter group who follow Dominionist beliefs and they formed their own very strict, very conservative church. And my father assumed his "rightful place" as head of our family. They yanked my nephew (who they are raising) out of his private Christian school so that they could better control what he was exposed to and taught. All members of the church had to sign a membership contract promising to follow the preachers rules, and detailing the activities that they could and could not take part of in their private lives.
I was lucky. I was grown and away from any type of control he might try to exert over me....doubly lucky because I was the only girl, and he believed that he should have the last say over every decision in my life. If I had been young enough that he had some kind of say over me, or dependent on him in any aspect of my life, things would have been much different. I feel so sorry for my nephew. He's 8 years old and is taught nothing that doesn't come straight from the Bible and has no contact with anyone that doesn't think exactly like my dad does. He's like a little fundamentalist action figure....push his button and he spouts fundy beliefs and Bible quotes.
I also feel sorry for my step-mother. She went into this willingly, but only because my father believed so strongly in it. She's so beat down and lifeless now where she used to be so vibrant and fun.
So...that's my background. I've moved on, and found my path in eclectic paganism. That's the label I give it anyway. I know that I'm going to have a huge fight on my hands later on when my boys get old enough that my father thinks he can demand that they be "exposed" to his beliefs too. But I can handle that. And right now, I am in a much better place spiritually than I ever have been before.