Post by phyllis on Jul 21, 2009 8:35:41 GMT -5
So glad to have found ya'll! I said years ago that someday some woman is going to write a book on the dark side of homeschooling! I homeschooled for eleven years. It's wonderful in many ways, and I don't regret that I did it. BUT it took a toll on me. I was voluntarily putting the world on my shoulders. I carried that load plus a difficult marriage plus my own psychological issues for a long time.
In my 40's, I finally started getting a clue and started seeing a therapist. Smartest thing I ever did. Also read the book "Women Who Love Too Much" and about a million other books!
I'm a mother of eight and very happy about that. The problem ofcourse is that I was trying to live out this vision I had in my mind of what family life is supposed to be like, what I was supposed to be like, what my husband was supposed to be like, etc., etc. All driven by religion ofcourse. I read Mary Pride's books and have read some of Doug Wilson's ideas.
Needless to say, it wasn't working well, given the basic absurdity of trying to do all this stuff. My husband was not cooperating by turning into someone he's not. I was working myself into an early grave. I actually felt, in my 40's, that this lifestyle is physically killing me.
I so agree with whoever said "It cannot be sustained!!!"
Other women seemed to be pulling it off. I felt so inferior to them. Now I have a much healthier attitude. If it's working for them, I can be happy for them. I no longer feel like a failure. I don't feel jealous anymore-actually I cringe to imagine myself still trying to do all that. It may be for them, but it's not a good idea for me.
I now feel no need to be superwoman. I'll leave that to others! Now I am just myself-a normal, somewhat screwed up human being who hopes to be a good-enough mother and wife, wants to simply enjoy her children and do them good. Within reason!!
In my 40's, I finally started getting a clue and started seeing a therapist. Smartest thing I ever did. Also read the book "Women Who Love Too Much" and about a million other books!
I'm a mother of eight and very happy about that. The problem ofcourse is that I was trying to live out this vision I had in my mind of what family life is supposed to be like, what I was supposed to be like, what my husband was supposed to be like, etc., etc. All driven by religion ofcourse. I read Mary Pride's books and have read some of Doug Wilson's ideas.
Needless to say, it wasn't working well, given the basic absurdity of trying to do all this stuff. My husband was not cooperating by turning into someone he's not. I was working myself into an early grave. I actually felt, in my 40's, that this lifestyle is physically killing me.
I so agree with whoever said "It cannot be sustained!!!"
Other women seemed to be pulling it off. I felt so inferior to them. Now I have a much healthier attitude. If it's working for them, I can be happy for them. I no longer feel like a failure. I don't feel jealous anymore-actually I cringe to imagine myself still trying to do all that. It may be for them, but it's not a good idea for me.
I now feel no need to be superwoman. I'll leave that to others! Now I am just myself-a normal, somewhat screwed up human being who hopes to be a good-enough mother and wife, wants to simply enjoy her children and do them good. Within reason!!