Post by pennygirl on Sept 15, 2009 19:49:59 GMT -5
Hello everyone 
I'm Jen, close to D.C., 37, married and have one son who is 15 (and a pile of angry felines)
I knew nothing of the Quiverfull movement until the Duggar's hit the scene.
Eh boring. Until I ran across that word on a blog and googled it. And hit this blog.
Google is a wonderful lil' tool, ain't it?
It hit dead home with me.
The weird brainwashing and the way one's mind starts thinking... the guilt, fear, shame, EGO, control, judgmental mentality, God just becomes a magician or some "idea" vrs. the Almighty, and one's personal relationship with the Lord (in my case) becoming a personal relationship with yourself.. God becomes your imaginary friend.. molded by yourself.. In a most humble persona one becomes the most selfish and boastful. Outer appearance takes precedence.
This is what hit me dead on.
I grew up with an alchoholic dad and a depressed mom. Woah! What fun to behold! 5 kids, two from different daddy's (my 2 oldest brothers).. dirt poor and a mom that found condolence in the church. First it was a bizarre one that refused to allow hand shaking as that is "how demons are passed one to another"..
Thankfully we had my demon filled alchoholic pappy that favored his pornography and loud country music to anything churchy... so the Jesus Movement never took over our home.
Of all my brothers and sisters.. I was the nice compliant one that always stood by my mom.
I remember asking her for something while her hands were in the air looking out a window speaking in tongues and she shooed me away until she was finished "Talking to God"
Anyways.. like I said! Hold on it was a great ride... eeps
Fast forward.. went to church with my dad. It was an Assemblies of God church. Yes the ole' wino found da lawd eventually. A helper in the youth group held small private meetings at his home. He was crazy and "radical" .. and the church people said he no longer can be holding private meetings with the churches youth. All parents stopped their kids from linking to him. Not me.. I was there on my own, my dad came late, left early.. paid no attention to what I was doing. Home life was a horror so I was able to do whatever. So followed this guy to another church. A Holiness church.
Now I think why they never became all Quiver friendly was their affiliation to the AOG .. I am sure they have strict guidelines and would lose funding , blah blah if they didn't semi-adhere to those teachings.
I was close to the daughter of the Pastor. Laura was her name. She was one year younger than me.
I was at that home all the time. Learned to peel potatoes, core a tomato for a salad, use spray starch to make your clothes wrinkle free.. it smelled of potpourri, the mom used oil of olay, the baby looked like a plump ivory baby.. it was always warm in that house. So much different than my crazified home life.
I went during the summer before my senor year of HS. By HS time, in a public school, I was wearing dresses, no makeup and my scraggly hair wasn't seeing a pair of sheers. I found ME in that church.
I asked my parents to let me go to that church school. The only one that showed any concern was my daddy after reading the literature.. and seeing Corpal Punishment was alive and well.. you had to sign a disclaimer .. allowing it. I was like yeah whatever Im good I wont get spanked.. there it happened.
He signed off on letting me go to that school.
So with that background.. the rest doesn't matter .. it's all the same
But I took a real genuine approach
I realized quickly the sinfulness of being "vain" .. even if all the other woman/girls there and their long flowing hair had spend an hour blow drying their locks and using those bendy curlers (all the rage! along with that .99 cent hairspray that came in the aqua green bottle) .. wore dresses from Bloomingdales and the most sweet smelling perfume an expensive department store could provide.. I started my judgement of others in the church. I wouldn't curl my hair.. why? It is vain. Cheap soap and cheaper facial cream.. that was it. No eye brow plucking.. even chapstick in "invisible" .. oh dear! no way.. I was getting fatter by the minute as exercise and making your body look decent was worldly and created lust.. so I adapted to big old skirts and oversized unrevealing sweaters. No perfume.. hair was in a POUF! I have a high forehead and bald spots so had to at least have a little fancy going on.. nails looked decrepit.. but I was as outwardly holy as I could be
I came home to my brother an avid skate boarder on drugs, my sister (who I shared a room with) going to all the Twisted Sister and Scorpion concerts with her older boyfriend who she slept over his house on school nights.. newly converted daddy who had his head in the clouds..and my no longer depressed mom plotting on how to leave the whole mess.. got a new job, prepared for a divorce..
So I was enmeshed heavily in the church and the school and the Pastor's family. I am only speaking of the ill's here.. so wont' bore you with the good peeps that were there.
All came to a head when we went to convocation at Ozark Bible College.
I was amazed by the girl's dorm .. spending hours upon hours primping, sucking in, pushing boobs up, making their hair as big as possible.. wearing designer everything..
I was here to learn about the lord and possible attend this college .. as I spent my mere 5 min washing my face and getting ready for church.
I kept to myself a lot during this trip
Then one night.. it was a HUGE auditorium.. the guy that told me about this church and his friends were there as well.. but one night I put my bible down to hold myself a seat, in front. I stopped sitting with the other girls.. I know I am so dang weird
Of all the nights we went to this nightly thing.. I never saw that guy and his friends... that is how huge it was.
I go back to my bible saved seat...and who is sitting next to me? but that guy and his friends?
Then it gets bizarre
The entire sermon was on giving ($$$$$)
I will have to dig it up if anyone is interested..as I saved it .. but the bulletin had a verse from Exodus on it..that said something to the like of Give out of your oh I don't know.. but it was about giving .. and give abundantly ..don't hold back! It is God's will! .. well I looked that verse up as Exodus seemed an odd bible reference..as that book is quite boring.. no real teaching things in there.. sure enough the verse didn't match the reference.. if it were even in the bible at all
I elbowed my guy friend and showed him and he nodded then whispered in my ear..
Jenny, something is very wrong here.. we are all leaving if you want to come with us
So mid way through while the zombies were bringing their wallets and purses and dumping them in the Lord's bucket.. we left..
It was a very creepy night..
anyway's.. shortly, thereafter, he asked I come to his house as he and his roomie's had to talk to me
He said they were leaving the church because of so many things.. and felt bad they had dragged me there.. and just wanted to tell me
Well I was 1/2 way through that school year teaching... so I slowly left in my mind.. maintained my holy appearance though started cutting the bangs in a way people wouldn't notice (just said.. oh my .. my hair must be breaking! OH it was RAVE.. that hairspray)
I wore clear nail polish.. I remember a meeting with the Principle /Pastor .. looking at my shiney nails.. like he didn't have anything better to notice and goes Sis. Wilson! you got some nail polish on, hmmm?
The summer after school ended and I was free as a bird.. I went on a mission trip thingy with the Pastor's daughter, Laura
Pima, Maricopa Indian Reservation in AZ
I was going to help out at the nursing home where her aunt was the Director of Nursing and assist in a Vacation Bible School
I was there 2 days and I felt my nitch. Nothing against the good deeds this aunt was doing.. but I felt she was an elite white lady here to help the impoverish heathen indians.. Her home was across from the Nursing Home and had a/c, a washing machine, beautifully decorated.. ect.. while most of the families there were in mud huts
I befriended an older lady named Delphine.. she took me to a Chicken Scratch Dance
She invited me into her home.. a mud hut.. where the floor is dirt..
I told Sharon about this .. the aunt.. and she 'bout blew a gasket!
"Ive never been invited in one of their homes! oh my! that is such a privilege.. why again? I haven't been invited and I've been here 10 years.. oh my"
Well she wasn't invited cause she's got her head stuck up her butt..
I also found "true love" with a guy named Joe "dog" .. who was common lawed married with a pile of kids and one on the way.. But eh.. I finally got attention from the opposite sex! Sad, I know.
Well i got hickies up to yin yang on my neck.. we never did anything but neck.. to me that was being one wild woman!
But word got back to the Pastor and his wife.. Sharon let loose on what a horrible influence I was to these people she was trying to help. .. Hrmm.. I made close friends, treated people with respect. was invited into a mud hut! ..
When school started the next year I ventured in to say hi to everyone.
Word got that I was there.. and the whispers started.... the pastor's wife hustled me upstairs.. 2 flights of steps to the Pastor's quarters.. basically .. until I repented of my horrid sins I could not longer be an influence to the kids..
I refused to repent.. so she told me to leave.
I pulled out of that driveway .and out of so many lives.. but into a freedom of seeing the "real world" as a canvas...
I was a naive little booger.. and got swiftly pregnant! after I learned to take care of my body and exercise and eating right wasn't a sin of the lustful.. and plucked the horrid eyebrows!
Had my son and his dad is half African Amer and Indian .. so rumors spread in that church that I gave birth to an "Indian" baby...
That was the end of my affiliation except for the stinging bad reference on my quest for my first
"real" job
I have a slew of the peeps from that church on my Facebook page.. and love them with a grain of salt
but it is not a sin to not want your belly to fold into rolls.. it is not creating lust to put lotion on your skin so it is healthy.. it is ok to be feminine..
Ive ranted too long.. but hello I'm Jen
I'm Jen, close to D.C., 37, married and have one son who is 15 (and a pile of angry felines)
I knew nothing of the Quiverfull movement until the Duggar's hit the scene.
Eh boring. Until I ran across that word on a blog and googled it. And hit this blog.
Google is a wonderful lil' tool, ain't it?
It hit dead home with me.
The weird brainwashing and the way one's mind starts thinking... the guilt, fear, shame, EGO, control, judgmental mentality, God just becomes a magician or some "idea" vrs. the Almighty, and one's personal relationship with the Lord (in my case) becoming a personal relationship with yourself.. God becomes your imaginary friend.. molded by yourself.. In a most humble persona one becomes the most selfish and boastful. Outer appearance takes precedence.
This is what hit me dead on.
I grew up with an alchoholic dad and a depressed mom. Woah! What fun to behold! 5 kids, two from different daddy's (my 2 oldest brothers).. dirt poor and a mom that found condolence in the church. First it was a bizarre one that refused to allow hand shaking as that is "how demons are passed one to another"..
Thankfully we had my demon filled alchoholic pappy that favored his pornography and loud country music to anything churchy... so the Jesus Movement never took over our home.
Of all my brothers and sisters.. I was the nice compliant one that always stood by my mom.
I remember asking her for something while her hands were in the air looking out a window speaking in tongues and she shooed me away until she was finished "Talking to God"
Anyways.. like I said! Hold on it was a great ride... eeps
Fast forward.. went to church with my dad. It was an Assemblies of God church. Yes the ole' wino found da lawd eventually. A helper in the youth group held small private meetings at his home. He was crazy and "radical" .. and the church people said he no longer can be holding private meetings with the churches youth. All parents stopped their kids from linking to him. Not me.. I was there on my own, my dad came late, left early.. paid no attention to what I was doing. Home life was a horror so I was able to do whatever. So followed this guy to another church. A Holiness church.
Now I think why they never became all Quiver friendly was their affiliation to the AOG .. I am sure they have strict guidelines and would lose funding , blah blah if they didn't semi-adhere to those teachings.
I was close to the daughter of the Pastor. Laura was her name. She was one year younger than me.
I was at that home all the time. Learned to peel potatoes, core a tomato for a salad, use spray starch to make your clothes wrinkle free.. it smelled of potpourri, the mom used oil of olay, the baby looked like a plump ivory baby.. it was always warm in that house. So much different than my crazified home life.
I went during the summer before my senor year of HS. By HS time, in a public school, I was wearing dresses, no makeup and my scraggly hair wasn't seeing a pair of sheers. I found ME in that church.
I asked my parents to let me go to that church school. The only one that showed any concern was my daddy after reading the literature.. and seeing Corpal Punishment was alive and well.. you had to sign a disclaimer .. allowing it. I was like yeah whatever Im good I wont get spanked.. there it happened.
He signed off on letting me go to that school.
So with that background.. the rest doesn't matter .. it's all the same
But I took a real genuine approach
I realized quickly the sinfulness of being "vain" .. even if all the other woman/girls there and their long flowing hair had spend an hour blow drying their locks and using those bendy curlers (all the rage! along with that .99 cent hairspray that came in the aqua green bottle) .. wore dresses from Bloomingdales and the most sweet smelling perfume an expensive department store could provide.. I started my judgement of others in the church. I wouldn't curl my hair.. why? It is vain. Cheap soap and cheaper facial cream.. that was it. No eye brow plucking.. even chapstick in "invisible" .. oh dear! no way.. I was getting fatter by the minute as exercise and making your body look decent was worldly and created lust.. so I adapted to big old skirts and oversized unrevealing sweaters. No perfume.. hair was in a POUF! I have a high forehead and bald spots so had to at least have a little fancy going on.. nails looked decrepit.. but I was as outwardly holy as I could be
I came home to my brother an avid skate boarder on drugs, my sister (who I shared a room with) going to all the Twisted Sister and Scorpion concerts with her older boyfriend who she slept over his house on school nights.. newly converted daddy who had his head in the clouds..and my no longer depressed mom plotting on how to leave the whole mess.. got a new job, prepared for a divorce..
So I was enmeshed heavily in the church and the school and the Pastor's family. I am only speaking of the ill's here.. so wont' bore you with the good peeps that were there.
All came to a head when we went to convocation at Ozark Bible College.
I was amazed by the girl's dorm .. spending hours upon hours primping, sucking in, pushing boobs up, making their hair as big as possible.. wearing designer everything..
I was here to learn about the lord and possible attend this college .. as I spent my mere 5 min washing my face and getting ready for church.
I kept to myself a lot during this trip
Then one night.. it was a HUGE auditorium.. the guy that told me about this church and his friends were there as well.. but one night I put my bible down to hold myself a seat, in front. I stopped sitting with the other girls.. I know I am so dang weird
Of all the nights we went to this nightly thing.. I never saw that guy and his friends... that is how huge it was.
I go back to my bible saved seat...and who is sitting next to me? but that guy and his friends?
Then it gets bizarre
The entire sermon was on giving ($$$$$)
I will have to dig it up if anyone is interested..as I saved it .. but the bulletin had a verse from Exodus on it..that said something to the like of Give out of your oh I don't know.. but it was about giving .. and give abundantly ..don't hold back! It is God's will! .. well I looked that verse up as Exodus seemed an odd bible reference..as that book is quite boring.. no real teaching things in there.. sure enough the verse didn't match the reference.. if it were even in the bible at all
I elbowed my guy friend and showed him and he nodded then whispered in my ear..
Jenny, something is very wrong here.. we are all leaving if you want to come with us
So mid way through while the zombies were bringing their wallets and purses and dumping them in the Lord's bucket.. we left..
It was a very creepy night..
anyway's.. shortly, thereafter, he asked I come to his house as he and his roomie's had to talk to me
He said they were leaving the church because of so many things.. and felt bad they had dragged me there.. and just wanted to tell me
Well I was 1/2 way through that school year teaching... so I slowly left in my mind.. maintained my holy appearance though started cutting the bangs in a way people wouldn't notice (just said.. oh my .. my hair must be breaking! OH it was RAVE.. that hairspray)
I wore clear nail polish.. I remember a meeting with the Principle /Pastor .. looking at my shiney nails.. like he didn't have anything better to notice and goes Sis. Wilson! you got some nail polish on, hmmm?
The summer after school ended and I was free as a bird.. I went on a mission trip thingy with the Pastor's daughter, Laura
Pima, Maricopa Indian Reservation in AZ
I was going to help out at the nursing home where her aunt was the Director of Nursing and assist in a Vacation Bible School
I was there 2 days and I felt my nitch. Nothing against the good deeds this aunt was doing.. but I felt she was an elite white lady here to help the impoverish heathen indians.. Her home was across from the Nursing Home and had a/c, a washing machine, beautifully decorated.. ect.. while most of the families there were in mud huts
I befriended an older lady named Delphine.. she took me to a Chicken Scratch Dance
She invited me into her home.. a mud hut.. where the floor is dirt..
I told Sharon about this .. the aunt.. and she 'bout blew a gasket!
"Ive never been invited in one of their homes! oh my! that is such a privilege.. why again? I haven't been invited and I've been here 10 years.. oh my"
Well she wasn't invited cause she's got her head stuck up her butt..
I also found "true love" with a guy named Joe "dog" .. who was common lawed married with a pile of kids and one on the way.. But eh.. I finally got attention from the opposite sex! Sad, I know.
Well i got hickies up to yin yang on my neck.. we never did anything but neck.. to me that was being one wild woman!
But word got back to the Pastor and his wife.. Sharon let loose on what a horrible influence I was to these people she was trying to help. .. Hrmm.. I made close friends, treated people with respect. was invited into a mud hut! ..
When school started the next year I ventured in to say hi to everyone.
Word got that I was there.. and the whispers started.... the pastor's wife hustled me upstairs.. 2 flights of steps to the Pastor's quarters.. basically .. until I repented of my horrid sins I could not longer be an influence to the kids..
I refused to repent.. so she told me to leave.
I pulled out of that driveway .and out of so many lives.. but into a freedom of seeing the "real world" as a canvas...
I was a naive little booger.. and got swiftly pregnant!
after I learned to take care of my body and exercise and eating right wasn't a sin of the lustful.. and plucked the horrid eyebrows! Had my son and his dad is half African Amer and Indian .. so rumors spread in that church that I gave birth to an "Indian" baby...
That was the end of my affiliation except for the stinging bad reference on my quest for my first
"real" job
I have a slew of the peeps from that church on my Facebook page.. and love them with a grain of salt
but it is not a sin to not want your belly to fold into rolls.. it is not creating lust to put lotion on your skin so it is healthy.. it is ok to be feminine..
Ive ranted too long.. but hello
I'm Jen
