Hi from Juliacat

[juliacat]

I have no direct experience with religious fundamentalism. I was raised to be a religious liberal and I have never veered from that path. My husband was raised similarly to me, and everyone on both sides of our families is moderate-to-liberal. We've had the usual ups and downs in our lives, but nothing over the top.

I've been interested in QF for probably 7-8 years, mostly because as an only child who will probably only have two children herself (we're working on our second and although I would not mind having more if I could have them at four-year intervals, for various reasons we will probably stop at two), I'm madly curious about what it's like to have a large family, what it's like to live in one. I think the religious belief stuff is interesting, too; from an outsider's perspective, I have questions like, What's it really like to grow up in a household with super-strict discipline? What's it like to grow up with super-rigid gender roles? What's it like to grow up with a ton of people in a tiny space with no money? What's it like to lose your virginity on your wedding night? Is it fun to have a lot of kids? Do you get to have extra fun with things like picking out names, and have an excuse to buy nicer clothing since it will be handed down?

Stuff like that.

I'm particularly impressed--floored, actually--by Vyckie's blog, because in all my years following the QF movement, I never knew people left it. I never knew that it really CAN be messed up on the inside even when it's presenting itself perfectly on the outside. And to be so brave as to leave the movement AFTER having a whole bunch of kids that you have to support--wow. Additionally, I think Vyckie is a really good writer and I've been hooked to her story from the first word--Laura's too. It's really interesting how some of the QF folks started out in dysfunctional families. And it's interesting how some of the second-generation kids turn away. Basically, I'm fascinated by every word everyone writes about the inside scoop on the QF lifestyle and I hope you all will tolerate my curiosity, given that I am very much an outsider!

[sargassosea]

Hi, JuliaCat & welcome.

I think that you will find that many of us here at the forum are 'outsiders' - we all have something to learn from each other

[Vyckie D. Garrison]

Hello Juliacat ~ thank you for your kind words.

Your curiousity is understandable ~ hopefully, in telling my story, I will answer some of your questions and provide some insight into the extreme fundamentalist mind.

A while back I was seated next to a professor of something (can't remember now) on an airplane and he asked me if I was a Christian. I wasn't really in a mood to get into a long discussion so simply answered, "No."

So this man started talking to me about how Christianity could be harmless, perhaps even beneficial, so long as a person is able to approach it like they would a buffet ~ taking whatever was healthy and appealing to them and leaving the rest.

Now that sort of thinking is totally foreign to me ~ not so much now as before, but my brain just wants to go all the way or not at all.

Ever since I started NLQ and have been "meeting" all types of women ~ I have been really curious to know about your way of thinking too I've been observing all the various perspectives ~ and I'm learning to think differently for having been exposed to so many thoughtful ways of understanding ourselves and our world.

So ~ I wrote all this as my way of rolling out the welcome mat to another "outsider" ~ I'm looking forward to your input here.

[xara]

Welcome Juliacat. You are not the only "outsider" here. There are a number of us.