anotheramy

[anotheramy]

Hi! My name is Amy (not the same Amy who has been commenting, thus the "another"). This is my first time commenting here, but I've been reading, like many others, since the Salon article. I am in my early 30s and currently a SAHM to my toddler daughter. I am due with our second (and probably last) child in July.

If I must be labeled, I'm a Deist. My background is Lutheran, which I still often think of myself as being - ethnically. I minored in Religious Studies in college and dabbled in various world religions before turning back to Christianity. My beliefs in universal reconciliation and equality for women eventually pulled me back out, though I was willing to abandon those two ideals during a good portion of my searching. I still respect the faiths of others and have no desire to talk anyone out what they believe (even if it is very concerning - perhaps I am too lenient).


Throughout a good deal of my 20s, I envied QF families, especially the women who seemed to have it all together and have a place in the universe. I lived vicariously through the blogs and wished I could just give myself over to that lifestyle (and if God would make my husband believe in Him, that would be quite helpful). I was addicted to patriarchy without participating. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. However, when cracks began to show through blogs and scandals, I felt released from it all.

I'm concerned for the girls and women in the movement, but also our society in general as the patriarchy movement seems to be creeping in bit by bit while popular culture is becoming aggressively misogynistic. The future for women is worrisome. This blog is a wonderful place to learn, and I'm thankful that it exists.

[Vyckie D. Garrison]

Welcome Amy! Thanks for the intro. It's a relief to know that you were able to resist the powerful draw of the QF/P VISION ~ it can be very appealing indeed.

[aimai]

anotheramy,
What a fascinating introduction and insight. I just posted something related to that down far, far, below on the restarted Duggar thread. It seems like the QF blogs and books and TV shows can be a kind of soft core christian porn, semi addictive, very attractive--maybe we could even call them an "attractive nuisance" or a "gateway drug" for the lifestyle. Some people can enjoy them from the fringes, some get sucked in and become addicted. Its very interesting that the kind of personal testimonial and honest evaluation that, for example, Vyckie and Laura offer freed you up from the false glamor of the movement.

I, too, have felt the pull of (some) forms of christianity and of the QF movement so I know what you are talking about. There is something very seductive about the notion that we could get up every morning and know exactly who we are, and what we are to do. Then I think harder about the content of those two things and think " not for me!"

aimai

[anotheramy]

Yes, indeed! It is very attractive, especially when you are seeking some sort of ultimate answer to the big questions of life, and there it is all laid out neatly for you in QF.

I think the thatmom podcast and Molly's (Adventures in Mercy) blog were the big wake up calls for me. Both are wonderful resources that I still use, even though I no longer call myself a Christian.

[tapati]

Hi (another) Amy! Good to see you here!

I think the PR for various fundie lifestyles can be powerful. It's designed to be. It's a marketing campaign, and marketing can be very effective! The tempting part of the message for anyone weary of choices and decisions and perhaps those of us who came from a chaotic background is one of certainty, of fitting in, having a defined place in the world. It all looks so idyllic.

The Hare Krishna version looked that way on the surface too. Women in their pretty saris, children with their faces painted and pretty jewelry on, peaceful cows in fields tended by devotees, happily dancing and chanting on the streets looking blissed out. And those parts were there, they were real. But underneath there was domestic violence, worn out people spending long hours distributing literature in airports or on the streets, child abuse in our schools, religious authorities walking away with stolen funds, and so on.

Like any marketing ploy, there's always something we aren't being told.