Aimai's Introduction, Late as Usual

[aimai]

OK, I'll copy and paste from the wrong thread. Man, I was two weeks late with both my pregnancies so I think I'm doing pretty well to finally read the *&^% instructions and post appropriately within a day or two.

I'm "Aimai" which means "woman" in Nepali. I'm an atheist, jewish, agnostic with a strong bent for theological discussion and an interest in Buddhism. When I was in highschool the headmaster of my school told me I should go into religious studies but I didn't take him up on it. Now I don't have the Hebrew to be a Rabbi, and I don't have the belief either, but I love to discuss theological issues.

I'm a happily married mother of two girls, 10 and 12. They go to a progressive school, so I've read and thought about a lot of "unschooling" issues. I'm 48 years old, married late (at 35) to a wonderful Ed Koran like atheist Jew who I met through the personal ads. But that's another story! We have a very happy egalitarian marriage. He is working and I am at home with the children. That's the only thing I regret, and not because I don't love being with the children and value every minute with them but only because this world is very financially uncertain and I believe very strongly that every woman should be prepared to support herself. I'm prepared, but it would be hard to find a job in my own field at this point, which is Anthropology.

I did my field work and wrote a dissertation on Family Property Law in Nepal among Animists and Brahmans (Hindus) in two ethnic communities. I published one article and taught briefly but never turned my research into a book or had a serious teaching career at the University level. That being said my anthropological training informs pretty much everything I work on or see, from PTA meetings to board interactions.

I have a long time interest in religion in the US, fringe groups, patriarchal communities, women's rights, children's rights, and all the things that come together here at no longer quivering. I hope that Vyckie and Laura's project (s) can be fulfilled here and they can both find the strength and the resources to start the next part of their lives with our help. And I hope we can all learn from each other. It will be interesting to see who bothers to register and continue the discussion.

aimai

[charis]

Hi Aimai

I am glad you made it. I love reading your comments and despite our differences I resonate with you on many levels and find you a "kindred spirit". Reading your interests, I can understand that better now. Your interests and your heart/passion remind me of a verse from scripture I just read yesterday:

Micah 6:8
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

((((((hugs)))))))

[anotheramy]

Oh wow. You have an amazing background! I'm looking forward to reading more of your views.

[Kaderin]

Hey aimai ^^/

I'm really looking forward to your contribution to the forum - you know I adore your style.

*hugs*

<3

[tapati]

Hi Aimai, I've been following your comments and enjoyed them thoroughly.

People think I was crazy for majoring in Anthro (What are you going to do with that?). I simply fell in love with it, both physical and cultural. It seemed to fall right in with reading sci fi all my life. I've never regretted it and it does influence how I look at things. I most enjoyed my class in psychological anthro.

Your time in Nepal sounds fascinating! I look forward to reading more of your posts.

[sukimom]

aimai,

i, too, enjoy reading your comments! you seem to say exactly what i am thinking, but in a way i could never put into words.....so, thanks!

s

[aimai]

Thanks everyone for such kind words. Sometimes I love to read back up a thread and see what I said, sometimes I'm a bit stunned by how much my typing seems to outrace my clarity.

I think one of the things that is most interesting and exciting to me, about Vyckie and Laura's blog, is the way so many things seem to come together in one place--and how many interesting, dynamic, thoughtful women are out there looking for a place to talk about them. I've been reading around on religious blogs for a while--I was thinking for a while about writing a blog post about them called "Welcome to Gilead 2.0" over at my other blog home If I Ran the Zoo where I write about politics. But if you'd told me that I would have found a place where such incredible women are detoxing themselves with such honesty and vigor--like Swedes jumping out of a sauna and birching themselves in a snowbank--I'd never have believed it possible. When you are *inside* the movement, or reading inside it, the very idea of refuseniks or refugees seems impossible.

aimai

[krwordgazer]

Hi, Aimai! I have enjoyed our discussions very much so far and it was great getting to learn more about you.

Here's to further friendly arguments! *raises a toast* ;D

[mary]

Apr 16, 2009 17:03:33 GMT -5 sukimom said:

aimai,

i, too, enjoy reading your comments! you seem to say exactly what i am thinking, but in a way i could never put into words.....so, thanks!

s

I agree!

Mary

[tapati]

Apr 16, 2009 17:48:54 GMT -5 aimai said:

Thanks everyone for such kind words. Sometimes I love to read back up a thread and see what I said, sometimes I'm a bit stunned by how much my typing seems to outrace my clarity.

I think one of the things that is most interesting and exciting to me, about Vyckie and Laura's blog, is the way so many things seem to come together in one place--and how many interesting, dynamic, thoughtful women are out there looking for a place to talk about them. I've been reading around on religious blogs for a while--I was thinking for a while about writing a blog post about them called "Welcome to Gilead 2.0" over at my other blog home If I Ran the Zoo where I write about politics. But if you'd told me that I would have found a place where such incredible women are detoxing themselves with such honesty and vigor--like Swedes jumping out of a sauna and birching themselves in a snowbank--I'd never have believed it possible. When you are *inside* the movement, or reading inside it, the very idea of refuseniks or refugees seems impossible.

aimai

I think there certainly is a kind of hunger for these conversations and not a lot of places to have them. On other religious boards with a high male content, it's hard to have these kinds of conversations without someone feeling defensive. It gets old to have to always try to qualify by saying "Some men" etc. Come on, that's a given. We all know decent, kind, non-misogynist men. What we need to talk about are the actions and strategies of the other kind.

Fundamentalism seems to be making a comeback even in the face of feminist advancement and greater secular liberalism. I think it's really valuable to look at WHY.

[anatheist]

Aimai, just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your posts a lot.

[arietty]

Apr 17, 2009 20:39:32 GMT -5 tapati said:

I think there certainly is a kind of hunger for these conversations and not a lot of places to have them. On other religious boards with a high male content, it's hard to have these kinds of conversations without someone feeling defensive. It gets old to have to always try to qualify by saying "Some men" etc. Come on, that's a given. We all know decent, kind, non-misogynist men. What we need to talk about are the actions and strategies of the other kind.

That is so true about male dominated boards and wow, that is one reason why NLQ is so refreshing. Let's all be aware of the potential for that being hijacked.

Fundamentalism seems to be making a comeback even in the face of feminist advancement and greater secular liberalism. I think it's really valuable to look at WHY.

I could say that as we live in an age with continual fear news items about global warming, breakdown of society etc.. people seek extremes which give them a solid ground to base their lives on. The media loves to present the world as full of terrible dangers. However I grew up expecting nuclear war to break out between America and Russia with communism as a looming evil threatening our lives so I'm not sure we are any more fear oriented now than in the 60's.

[aimai]

I agree about male dominated boards. Not that I've got anything against men, but the "male answer syndrome" --the determination to solve your problem for you, to settle the debate once and for all with a certain singular answer, is strong on them. Thanks to a link over here I hopped over to Imonk and wound up reading a very interesting thread on the Columbine Killings and their use in the Christian community. I really like imonk himself and find his perspective refreshing but as far as I can see the *entire* of his commentariat is male, and are they full of themselves (!). There is an extremely, to my mind, familiar passive agressive christian right wing type that posts there in the name of jesus who simply can't figure out what imonk is fussing about when he challenges christianist interpretations of a given event. Can't imagine the shock and horror if women started talking about "the patriarchy."


And that is another thing about this board. Perhaps more than any other feminist board I've ever been on (and I haven't been on many) but certainly more than any generic politics board many of the posters here seem to have lived a life defined by, and limited by, real Patriarchy with a capital Pappa. Its refreshing not to have the same orienting conversation all the time with some twenty year old dude who feigns ignorance of the history and reality of that term. "I totally don't get what you guys are talking about! Patriarchy? what's that? When I was in highschool all the cool chicks could get whatever they wanted from guys. Girls are lucky because they can get sex whenever they want while guys have to ask for it."

The reality of a daily grind of serious patriarchal philosophy and practice, of an economic oppression, of physically draining soul crushing childbirth and an endless round of unrewarded petty mideival work load is totally beyond the experience of a lot of young posters. Female as well as male. And yet clearly from the life stories of even many of the younger women on the board patriarchy is alive and well.

Its nice not to have to keep explaining it over and over again.

aimai

[tapati]

And that is another thing about this board. Perhaps more than any other feminist board I've ever been on (and I haven't been on many) but certainly more than any generic politics board many of the posters here seem to have lived a life defined by, and limited by, real Patriarchy with a capital Pappa. Its refreshing not to have the same orienting conversation all the time with some twenty year old dude who feigns ignorance of the history and reality of that term. "I totally don't get what you guys are talking about! Patriarchy? what's that? When I was in highschool all the cool chicks could get whatever they wanted from guys. Girls are lucky because they can get sex whenever they want while guys have to ask for it."

The reality of a daily grind of serious patriarchal philosophy and practice, of an economic oppression, of physically draining soul crushing childbirth and an endless round of unrewarded petty mideival work load is totally beyond the experience of a lot of young posters. Female as well as male. And yet clearly from the life stories of even many of the younger women on the board patriarchy is alive and well.

Its nice not to have to keep explaining it over and over again.

aimai

It is refreshing to have it accepted as a given that patriarchy still exists, that our culture is still very much steeped in it, both subtle and gross, and not have to resort to taking care of fragile male egos that want to complain that they have no privilege. It's a given also that while the men currently living didn't create the system, they've benefited from it and need to take responsibility for helping to break it down. (In just the same way that I didn't create racism but its my co-responsibility to try to counteract it whenever I can.)

(Ditto with ableism and all the others)