Post by xara on Apr 16, 2009 15:28:27 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
I am a woman in my late 30s and have always been interested in the sorts of discussions we have been having here.
I was put in Lutheran school in the 5th grade and was there through high school. Prior to that, my parents had always taught me that I was a smart kid who could become anything I wanted to be, as long as I was willing to put in the necessary work to accomplish my goals.
Once I was in Lutheran school, I suddenly had people telling me that I couldn't do certain things BECAUSE I WAS A GIRL. Now, I have always been a bit passive aggressive and when someone tells me I can't do something, I tend to respond with, "Oh yeah? Watch me!" But they were using the Bible to back them up. Until then, I hadn't been particularly familiar with the Bible, so during the morning Bible studies, when the rest of the class was reading a few verses, I read entire chapters.
In 6th grade, I read the entire thing cover to cover. I did skim through Numbers, because it is mostly just lineage. But I did notice that the verses they were using to tell me that I was horrible because I happened to have been born female, were often taken out of context. Not only that, but the logic they used was usually flawed.
At that point, I didn't know the formal names for the logical fallacies, but my dad is an attorney and my younger sister and I learned at an early age how to present a logical argument. As well as how to poke holes in arguments that were not solidly constructed. I have also never been the sort to accept things just because someone in authority told me to do something or told me it was true. If someone wants me to do something, they have to convince me that it is a good idea. If they want me to believe something, they again need to convince me. I will ask questions the whole time, and while, "I don't know" is an acceptable answer, "Because I said so" is not.
I struggled with my role as a girl all through grade school and high school. I had always been a tomboy and have been very independent. Yet I did develop faith, and was constantly in conflict.
It got worse when in high school I realized that I didn't want kids and if I ever got pregnant, I would have to abort because I couldn't trust anyone else to raise them. I don't approve of hypocrisy, so that is when I switched from the pro-life camp to the pro-choice. I had ALWAYS been in favor of birth control though.
As high school progressed, I started to realize that I was attracted to girls as well as boys. This made the conflicts even worse, given the church's teachings about homosexuality. My sophomore year of college, I accepted the fact that I am bisexual. But because of the double-whammy of being female, and bi, I couldn't continue to be Christian. I just couldn't reconcile it and had to find another belief system.
I became a Goddess worshiping Pagan. My reasoning at the time was that the Divine was neither male nor female, but as a human, my experiences were gendered and I needed to assign gender to Deity. Do I worshiped the Goddess and acknowledged the God. I just didn't have much to do with the male aspects as all the male role models I had while growing up were abusive and I needed to experience the female divine.
These days, I am mostly agnostic, because no one really knows for sure, but I am still Pagan as that still makes the most sense to me.
I have always enjoyed philosophical and religious discussions (my second major at college was philosophy). I am also a feminist.
The name I have chosen to use Xara is the name of one of my Dungeons & Dragons characters. Yes, I have been a gamer for about 20 years. My actual first name is Keri, but one of the other commenters has posted using that, and I didn't want to cause confusion, so I went with Xara which is pronounced Zara.
Anyway, I am rambling.
Peace and good health to all.
Xara
I am a woman in my late 30s and have always been interested in the sorts of discussions we have been having here.
I was put in Lutheran school in the 5th grade and was there through high school. Prior to that, my parents had always taught me that I was a smart kid who could become anything I wanted to be, as long as I was willing to put in the necessary work to accomplish my goals.
Once I was in Lutheran school, I suddenly had people telling me that I couldn't do certain things BECAUSE I WAS A GIRL. Now, I have always been a bit passive aggressive and when someone tells me I can't do something, I tend to respond with, "Oh yeah? Watch me!" But they were using the Bible to back them up. Until then, I hadn't been particularly familiar with the Bible, so during the morning Bible studies, when the rest of the class was reading a few verses, I read entire chapters.
In 6th grade, I read the entire thing cover to cover. I did skim through Numbers, because it is mostly just lineage. But I did notice that the verses they were using to tell me that I was horrible because I happened to have been born female, were often taken out of context. Not only that, but the logic they used was usually flawed.
At that point, I didn't know the formal names for the logical fallacies, but my dad is an attorney and my younger sister and I learned at an early age how to present a logical argument. As well as how to poke holes in arguments that were not solidly constructed. I have also never been the sort to accept things just because someone in authority told me to do something or told me it was true. If someone wants me to do something, they have to convince me that it is a good idea. If they want me to believe something, they again need to convince me. I will ask questions the whole time, and while, "I don't know" is an acceptable answer, "Because I said so" is not.
I struggled with my role as a girl all through grade school and high school. I had always been a tomboy and have been very independent. Yet I did develop faith, and was constantly in conflict.
It got worse when in high school I realized that I didn't want kids and if I ever got pregnant, I would have to abort because I couldn't trust anyone else to raise them. I don't approve of hypocrisy, so that is when I switched from the pro-life camp to the pro-choice. I had ALWAYS been in favor of birth control though.
As high school progressed, I started to realize that I was attracted to girls as well as boys. This made the conflicts even worse, given the church's teachings about homosexuality. My sophomore year of college, I accepted the fact that I am bisexual. But because of the double-whammy of being female, and bi, I couldn't continue to be Christian. I just couldn't reconcile it and had to find another belief system.
I became a Goddess worshiping Pagan. My reasoning at the time was that the Divine was neither male nor female, but as a human, my experiences were gendered and I needed to assign gender to Deity. Do I worshiped the Goddess and acknowledged the God. I just didn't have much to do with the male aspects as all the male role models I had while growing up were abusive and I needed to experience the female divine.
These days, I am mostly agnostic, because no one really knows for sure, but I am still Pagan as that still makes the most sense to me.
I have always enjoyed philosophical and religious discussions (my second major at college was philosophy). I am also a feminist.
The name I have chosen to use Xara is the name of one of my Dungeons & Dragons characters. Yes, I have been a gamer for about 20 years. My actual first name is Keri, but one of the other commenters has posted using that, and I didn't want to cause confusion, so I went with Xara which is pronounced Zara.
Anyway, I am rambling.
Peace and good health to all.
Xara
Too bad ~ I missed out on a lot of the things I really enjoy because I couldn't be entangled in worldly affairs.