Post by rose31759 on Nov 28, 2009 19:44:39 GMT -5
Hi,
My name is Rose and I am on a journey to find not only myself, but also the Truth. I was raised in a fundamentalist Baptist church environment, as a sadistic ritually abusive house by a couple that took me from my birth mother when I was an infant in a gray market adoption ( a long story).
I have been married for 28 years and have 4 daughters ranging in ages from almost 27-19 years of age. Although the church that my husband and I were involved in for many years did not practice the quiverful movement, there were many, many teachings about a woman being submissive to her husband (or any man in authority for that matter) and there were many 'discusions' about whether or not a woman could even hold a job outside of the home. It was automatically assumed that once a woman got married (I was married at 22) that children were going to come along and once that happened the woman would be a stay at home mother and her whole world would revolve around God, her husband, her children and keeping the house in perfect order, dinner on the table whenever the husband came home, the kids perfectly disciplined, that she wouold be available for sex whenever the husband wanted it. Meanwhile, the husband could go off with the men's group whenever they had a meeting or an outing without so much as a backward look to what was going on at the house. The wife just had to grin and bear it because she was being in subjection to her husband and God. Fortunately for me, my husband did not subscribe to that and was very, very supportive of me, especially when I started to have flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks due to the abuse that I suffered from as a child. (I was ritually abused in everyway that a person can think of and then some). When that started those in the church wanted my husband to 'put me in my place' by forcing me to get involved with more activity so that I wasn't thinking about myself so much, seeing it as it was 'sin'. Again fortunately for me he didn't and for the past 15 years or so I have been on a spiritual journey towards healing and wholeness from what happened to me as a child. Five years ago I totally left the church because I could no longer subscirbe to what was being taught. There are a few concepts that I have held onto, however the rest is up for discussion, so to speak. I am glad that I have found this group, because for many years, I have felt that I was alone in my search for not only my own identity which was taken from me as an infant, but also in my search for my spiritual identity and roots.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I pray that all here find the peace that they are looking for.
Rose
My name is Rose and I am on a journey to find not only myself, but also the Truth. I was raised in a fundamentalist Baptist church environment, as a sadistic ritually abusive house by a couple that took me from my birth mother when I was an infant in a gray market adoption ( a long story).
I have been married for 28 years and have 4 daughters ranging in ages from almost 27-19 years of age. Although the church that my husband and I were involved in for many years did not practice the quiverful movement, there were many, many teachings about a woman being submissive to her husband (or any man in authority for that matter) and there were many 'discusions' about whether or not a woman could even hold a job outside of the home. It was automatically assumed that once a woman got married (I was married at 22) that children were going to come along and once that happened the woman would be a stay at home mother and her whole world would revolve around God, her husband, her children and keeping the house in perfect order, dinner on the table whenever the husband came home, the kids perfectly disciplined, that she wouold be available for sex whenever the husband wanted it. Meanwhile, the husband could go off with the men's group whenever they had a meeting or an outing without so much as a backward look to what was going on at the house. The wife just had to grin and bear it because she was being in subjection to her husband and God. Fortunately for me, my husband did not subscribe to that and was very, very supportive of me, especially when I started to have flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks due to the abuse that I suffered from as a child. (I was ritually abused in everyway that a person can think of and then some). When that started those in the church wanted my husband to 'put me in my place' by forcing me to get involved with more activity so that I wasn't thinking about myself so much, seeing it as it was 'sin'. Again fortunately for me he didn't and for the past 15 years or so I have been on a spiritual journey towards healing and wholeness from what happened to me as a child. Five years ago I totally left the church because I could no longer subscirbe to what was being taught. There are a few concepts that I have held onto, however the rest is up for discussion, so to speak. I am glad that I have found this group, because for many years, I have felt that I was alone in my search for not only my own identity which was taken from me as an infant, but also in my search for my spiritual identity and roots.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I pray that all here find the peace that they are looking for.
Rose
