Hi

[starfury]

I'm trying to figure out what to say without revealing too much about who I am. I suspect I'm younger than most here, but I'm hoping that the rest of my family will follow suit. Regardless, I recognize that I ought to be careful due to my parents and the roles they have played on two well-known email digests, and because of that I'm going to be vague (at least for now) about church denominations, etc.

In a nutshell, I spent my entire life growing up as a fundamentalist Christian, until about a couple months ago. Well, about a year or so ago I started moving away, but only in the past couple months did I really take the plunge, and in the past month did I finally admit to myself I wasn't a Christian.

As a psych student finishing up my B.A., I'm really looking forward to grad school. Marlene Winnell was an amazing inspiration to me. Before I knew about her and her book, I knew I wanted to go into psychology with a focus on helping out women and girls like myself.

That's still what I want to do, although probably due to my age, I tend to focus more on the younger women who are getting out of this (usually after an early marriage, and are going through this with their husbands), and realizing just what their parents were doing to them all these years.

I want to say that I am really grateful to Vyckie and her site. One of the biggest problems is that those of us (at least in my experience) getting out of fundamentalism/QF/P are afraid to say anything, and so we end up convincing ourselves that we're alone... when the best part is that we're not. So, it's nice to see that some people are brave enough to be upfront about it!

Yeah, I know, I'm a hypocrite and am hiding behind a mask right now, but I do honestly want to figure a little more about myself out before I go broadcasting to the world (and no doubt alienating my parents and friends)...

In other news... hi guys. Glad to meet you all!

~~Starfury

[Sierra]

Welcome! We probably aren't too far apart in age (I just started grad school), and there are a few more in our generation here, too. Are you planning on working in counselling or research?

I definitely understand the urge to keep things on the DL for now. Fundie circles are pretty tight-knit. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

[journey]

Welcome. So glad to have you.
(((hugs)))

[xara]

Welcome Starfury.

[dangermom]

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm also new.

[starfury]

Thanks, guys!

Sierra - Specifically, counseling... I've been through craziness, and am dealing with the psychological problems that are results of how I was raised... I remember how I felt when I first really realized there was a whole other world out there. The idea that I could really go out and be me, and not have to worry about my God-Given Responsibility to spend my adult years barefoot and pregnant, was mind-blowing. Getting out of my upbringing, looking back and going I cannot believe they taught me that... and worse, I cannot believe I wanted that... it was an eye-opening experience.

The realization after talking with my friends... I can't tell you in specific how exactly it came out, because I honestly don't know... that hey, wait a second, I wasn't alone... burned into me my desire to help them. So, I've done it. I've gotten out (well, still working on the working through things part of it all). There are so many others who haven't gotten out, who I sometimes wonder about, but are in no position to do so.

I want to help them.

This desire, combined with reading Marlene Winnell's "Leaving the Fold" have really made clear to me why I am fascinated with psychology, and what I want to do with it. So yes, I want to counsel, but I do also want to research. I want to research the psychological ramifications of growing up in the QF/P worldview. I want to learn what it does, why it does it, and how to help it. I want to research in order to educate, and in order to help counsel better.

In a nutshell... here's me, and here's what I have learned. I would be remiss if I were to not go out and do my utmost to share that with those who need it. Not because of some duty to some personal God... as I don't currently believe in one... but of duty to the rest of the world simply as a fellow human being. Love is the most important thing out there, and it is the one thing that is denied in a QF/P family.

So, that may have rambled a little, but there's your answer.

[dangermom]

Hey, so why the name? Are you a B5 fan?

[starfury]

Haha, YES! Along with other stuff that goes along with geekdom.

Okay, a couple months ago (before I found NLQ) I started up a forum for folks that I knew who were going through the same thing as me... leaving fundamentalism and going... now what? It's refreshing to realize there really are shades of grey.

Anyway, I wanted something that was fairly vague, and was thinking about B5 at the same time, and was reminded of the episode title - Midnight on the Firing Line. I sometimes felt like that about my life growing up, and especially now when I'm coming to some very unpopular (at least with my family and many of my friends) conclusions. So, in addition to B5 being awesome, the starfuries were a large symbol of that whole deal, plus independence and all that. *shrugs* I think it makes more sense in my head.

[xara]

As a fellow geek and B5 fan, I think it is cool.

[dangermom]

Yeah. Excellent. If only we had avatars, you could have Ivanova.

[Hillary]

Welcome, and lots and lots of hugs!