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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 14, 2009 7:48:31 GMT -5
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Post by grandmalou on Dec 14, 2009 9:41:47 GMT -5
Oh, yes, you have, Tapati! And this is a winner of a poem! This is so empowering for anyone who has ever suffered at the hands of an abuser! So happy for you, that you and many more are getting away from all that! (((HUGS)))
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Post by xara on Dec 14, 2009 9:58:16 GMT -5
Very good poem Tapati. And empowering to those who are being abused. Thanks for sharing it.
I am glad you are out of that situation now.
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Post by margybargy on Dec 14, 2009 12:29:07 GMT -5
Beautiful and inspiring. And accurate - you have won.
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Post by sarahsmom on Dec 14, 2009 18:29:15 GMT -5
speachless, tears welling up in my eyes, yes, You have one!! You go girl!
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Post by tapati on Dec 14, 2009 19:50:42 GMT -5
Oh, yes, you have, Tapati! And this is a winner of a poem! This is so empowering for anyone who has ever suffered at the hands of an abuser! So happy for you, that you and many more are getting away from all that! (((HUGS))) Thank you, Grandmalou. I wrote it way back in the 80s, sometime in 1984 I think, or early 85. Since it was addressed pretty directly to my ex, I didn't try to get fancy but used very direct language that could not be misinterpreted. No metaphor, no allegory, nothing he could fail to get as being directed right at him and things he had done. I wanted him mainly to understand what it was like to experience the blows he rained down on me so freely. Looking at it now, after all of these years, it reminds me of that moment in the movie Labyrinth where Sarah looks at David Bowie's character, The Goblin King, and says, wonderingly, "You have no power over me!" After receiving this poem, which I gave him at the end of a visit to the kids in 1985, he told a mutual friend, "Tapati gave me this poem; she thinks I'm like one of those wife beaters or something!" Yes. I do.
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Post by tapati on Dec 14, 2009 19:51:34 GMT -5
Very good poem Tapati. And empowering to those who are being abused. Thanks for sharing it. I am glad you are out of that situation now. Thank you! It feels like a lifetime ago. My second marriage has been as healing as my first one was destructive.
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Post by tapati on Dec 14, 2009 19:52:03 GMT -5
Beautiful and inspiring. And accurate - you have won. As they say, living well is the best revenge!
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Post by tapati on Dec 14, 2009 19:54:14 GMT -5
speachless, tears welling up in my eyes, yes, You have one!! You go girl! Thank you! Yes it feels good to triumph over my abuser in the end. I wish the same for every abused woman in the world. Furthermore, I sincerely wish that the day comes when domestic violence is exceedingly rare and that our society deals swiftly with the perpetrators.
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em
Full Member
Posts: 176
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Post by em on Dec 15, 2009 0:27:07 GMT -5
After receiving this poem, which I gave him at the end of a visit to the kids in 1985, he told a mutual friend, "Tapati gave me this poem; she thinks I'm like one of those wife beaters or something!" Yes. I do. Now where would you get a silly idea like that?
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Post by tapati on Dec 15, 2009 1:47:48 GMT -5
After receiving this poem, which I gave him at the end of a visit to the kids in 1985, he told a mutual friend, "Tapati gave me this poem; she thinks I'm like one of those wife beaters or something!" Yes. I do. Now where would you get a silly idea like that? I must be hormonal!
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 15, 2009 8:26:07 GMT -5
Tapati ~ just finally getting a minute to comment on this amazing poem ~ thank you so much for sharing with us. I felt like I was right there with you as I read your words ~ and I wanted so much to protect you ~ to make him stop!! I think I can feel along with you ~ why's he doing this? How can I make him stop? Something that's really had my brain puzzling for a long time: I wonder why people in overwhelmingly difficult, life and death situations struggle so hard to live? It kind of freaks me out because it seems that it'd be easier to just say, forget it ~ just go ahead and kill me, this is too hard. But we don't. I wrote to Unlce Ron about this once (do you all get sick of hearing about Uncle Ron?): Even those whose lives are hard and brutal do not usually seek to escape living ~ sure they fight desperately to live differently ~ to improve their lot ~ but still, they desire to live. We recently watched the movie, Hotel Rawanda ~ have you seen it? Such senseless destruction and utter misery. Yet, when the guerillas were firing ~ I marvelled that all those people ran away. With all the terror and heartbreak ~ why wouldn't they rush gladly to meet their deaths and put themselves out of their misery? They could see all around them those who had escaped the affliction lying at peace and rest beside the roadways. Why were the living ~ even those whose loved ones had already gone on ~ not eager to join in that rest? To survive only meant guaranteed trouble ~ more violence, pestilence and starvation. So why is it that we dread dying ~ or at least resist it so? Whether we have expectation of eternal bliss or annihilation, none of us are eager for it. And Tapati, as I was reading your poem and I saw your determination to survive ~ I was totally with you, willing you to live too. We are all so glad that you did! On a lighter note: While I was setting up this post, I went to google image search to find a picture to go with your poem. I typed in "women's power" ~ and found page after page of pictures of .... PANTS!! Yes ~ pants are associated with women's power ~ so what does this tell us about the dresses only thing? Interesting, huh? Thanks again, Tapati. You are a strong woman ~ it is an honor to have your empowering writings on NLQ.
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Post by krwordgazer on Dec 15, 2009 15:38:41 GMT -5
Tapati, that poem was both stark and beautiful.
And it's amazing how your ex refuses to see himself as what he is-- yes, he's one of those wife-beaters. If the shoe fits. . .
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Post by tapati on Dec 15, 2009 16:13:46 GMT -5
Tapati ~ just finally getting a minute to comment on this amazing poem ~ thank you so much for sharing with us. I felt like I was right there with you as I read your words ~ and I wanted so much to protect you ~ to make him stop!! I think I can feel along with you ~ why's he doing this? How can I make him stop? Something that's really had my brain puzzling for a long time: I wonder why people in overwhelmingly difficult, life and death situations struggle so hard to live? It kind of freaks me out because it seems that it'd be easier to just say, forget it ~ just go ahead and kill me, this is too hard. But we don't. And Tapati, as I was reading your poem and I saw your determination to survive ~ I was totally with you, willing you to live too. We are all so glad that you did! On a lighter note: While I was setting up this post, I went to google image search to find a picture to go with your poem. I typed in "women's power" ~ and found page after page of pictures of .... PANTS!! Yes ~ pants are associated with women's power ~ so what does this tell us about the dresses only thing? Interesting, huh? Thanks again, Tapati. You are a strong woman ~ it is an honor to have your empowering writings on NLQ. *blushing* You're welcome, Vyckie! As you will see in later installments, I came to feel suicidal at times and yet ended up begging for my life anyway. I just wanted to escape the beatings, not die, but at times I saw no way out.
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Post by tapati on Dec 15, 2009 16:15:57 GMT -5
Tapati, that poem was both stark and beautiful. And it's amazing how your ex refuses to see himself as what he is-- yes, he's one of those wife-beaters. If the shoe fits. . . Denial is an amazing psychological phenomenon. To live with himself he had to bury those memories. Having buried them, he is perplexed to find himself being accused of things he's forgotten. For that matter, I can't clearly remember every beating. There were too many of them. Some stand out in my mind because they were particularly bad or I remember the argument preceding them. Others just exist in a blurred composite memory of fists flying towards my head.
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