|
Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Jan 6, 2010 11:53:11 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 6, 2010 12:35:10 GMT -5
And less than a week from my first child's birthday!
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 6, 2010 12:36:06 GMT -5
Personally I thought Mahasraya's photography left something to be desired but at least a few turned out. You should see the real duds!
|
|
phatchick
Junior Member
Medicated for Your Protection
Posts: 80
|
Post by phatchick on Jan 6, 2010 22:30:40 GMT -5
He was certainly an adorable baby!
|
|
|
Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Jan 6, 2010 23:08:22 GMT -5
When I read this installment, I was so impressed that you were able to have your baby at home, despite the baby being transverse. You are an amazingly strong woman, Tapati! When my neighbor, Pam, was planning her second home birth ~ using Judy Jones as the midwife ~ she called me one evening and said that she was in labor and feeling anxious ~ thought she should maybe go to the hospital. I encouraged her to listen to her intuition. The next day, she called again ~ Judy had talked her out of going, and she'd been laboring in the bathtub all night. I went over to her house, and she asked everyone to leave the room so we could talk ~ and then she begged me to take her to the hospital. So I did. I had to stand up for her to Judy ~ but by that time, I'd suffered enough from her lousy advice that I was pretty emboldened and just plainly stated, Pam wants to go to the hospital and I'm taking her. At the hospital, an ultrasound revealed that the baby was transverse and after all those hours of labor, quite stuck. They did a c-section and it took quite an effort to get the baby out ~ had to intubate her right away and they almost lost her. So ~ that's what I was thinking of when I read your story. So glad the midwife was able to get your baby boy turned and you were able to have a home birth. Glad too that you were able to get an apartment before the baby arrived. Your poem is pretty startling too ~ it's exactly the mindset that I had when I was so determined to have my babies at home. It is true that I had much more trouble bonding with Hazelle because her birth (the pregnancy too) was so traumatic ~ but with the other c-section babies, the bonding was instant. With Andrew, whom I had at home, again I was too traumatized to care much about the baby ~ didn't care much about him until later ~ after I calmed down and got some rest. As always ~ I can't wait to read more of your story, Tapati. I'm hooked.
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 6, 2010 23:41:22 GMT -5
I had no idea what the real dangers of a transverse lie position were at the time. I simply trusted these women who were older and more experienced (seeming anyway) than I were. At no time did they represent the true risks I was undertaking if I remained home. Things could have gone bad so much more quickly than we could have reached the hospital and I didn't even have a phone at the time. I was completely fried and exhausted at the end and really couldn't think very clearly. I needed some honest risk assessment--and I didn't get it. We were very lucky it turned out all right. Very lucky! I will try to get a new installment finished soon.
|
|
|
Post by krwordgazer on Jan 7, 2010 23:36:52 GMT -5
Tapati, I was glad to read that you got out of that laundry room and were able to have a home for your baby. I'm glad you had a competent midwife, unlike that Judy Jones described by Vyckie! I had both of my children in a hospital, and only felt a "separation" with my older child, with whom I had an emergency C-section because she was in distress. They had to take her away to get her breathing and cleaned up. But our time apart was really brief. With my second child, they put him in my arms the minute the cord was cut, so there was instant bonding like you describe. My only objection to either of the hospital births was that I was given drugs I didn't really want-- not for pain (I wanted those!) but for other reasons. But I can't fault them for saving my daughter, who probably would have died if born at home-- or "separating" me from either child, which they didn't. Anyway, you look really cute pregnant, and your baby so sweet!
|
|
|
Post by asteli on Jan 8, 2010 2:16:02 GMT -5
Really glad you were in an apartment by the time your baby came. That must have been a relief.
Was he in a transverse lie or just occiput transverse? My second was occiput transverse & it was a really long, hard pushing phase with him.
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 8, 2010 15:06:14 GMT -5
Really glad you were in an apartment by the time your baby came. That must have been a relief. Was he in a transverse lie or just occiput transverse? My second was occiput transverse & it was a really long, hard pushing phase with him. All they said was "transverse" and that that meant "he's facing the wrong way." Not knowing anything about that--it wasn't covered in the literature I'd read--I just trusted their assessment that as long as the heart beat was strong we were ok. Now I've read that the cord could have fallen into the birth canal and prolapsed, and I could have had a uterine rupture. I would have gone to the hospital if they'd told me there were those risks. I was kind of on the fence anyway because it was taking so long and my energy was so low. In retrospect I have to wonder what these women really knew about the risks and how to identify transverse in the first place.
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 8, 2010 15:07:36 GMT -5
Tapati, I was glad to read that you got out of that laundry room and were able to have a home for your baby. I'm glad you had a competent midwife, unlike that Judy Jones described by Vyckie! I had both of my children in a hospital, and only felt a "separation" with my older child, with whom I had an emergency C-section because she was in distress. They had to take her away to get her breathing and cleaned up. But our time apart was really brief. With my second child, they put him in my arms the minute the cord was cut, so there was instant bonding like you describe. When did you have your children? I know births in hospitals have changed over the years. Thank you!
|
|
|
Post by krwordgazer on Jan 8, 2010 15:27:01 GMT -5
When did you have your children? I know births in hospitals have changed over the years. My kids were born in 1994 and 1999.
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 8, 2010 15:43:11 GMT -5
When did you have your children? I know births in hospitals have changed over the years. My kids were born in 1994 and 1999. Personally I believe that the home birth movement made hospitals change the way they handled the birth experience for the better. I think they started to really understand the need for mom and baby to be together from the start as much as possible.
|
|
|
Post by wanderlust1 on Jan 11, 2010 8:51:30 GMT -5
Great installment Tapati! Those pictures of you and Lakshmana are priceless . Mahasraya may not have been a great photographer but he managed to get some beautiful ones! That seems like it was one of the few good periods in the marriage. Too bad it didn't stay that way for very long... Knowing what you know now, you were very lucky the birth came out well. It could have turned out differently, or badly... My hospital never once pushed me to take drugs and that was back in 1975. They just did what I told them... I must have been an intimidating 17 year old But I was adamant about natural childbirth and breast feeding and they just didn't argue with me. I did hear them whispering about me, though.
|
|
|
Post by Sierra on Jan 11, 2010 13:51:23 GMT -5
I love your pictures, too, Tapati. You were an adorable new mama! And as others have said, very brave...
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 11, 2010 16:34:33 GMT -5
Great installment Tapati! Those pictures of you and Lakshmana are priceless . Mahasraya may not have been a great photographer but he managed to get some beautiful ones! That seems like it was one of the few good periods in the marriage. Too bad it didn't stay that way for very long... Knowing what you know now, you were very lucky the birth came out well. It could have turned out differently, or badly... My hospital never once pushed me to take drugs and that was back in 1975. They just did what I told them... I must have been an intimidating 17 year old But I was adamant about natural childbirth and breast feeding and they just didn't argue with me. I did hear them whispering about me, though. Dave told me it should be subtitled: The calm before the storm. Mahasraya was in a better mood once we had a place to live and some food to eat, and he also got a job with the temple as a night guard, so his self esteem got a boost. So there was a very brief honeymoon period with the baby. I wanted to show that it wasn't all bad, every single minute. But that's why it's so hard for women to leave--they keep remembering the good moments and hoping for their return. We did get a few good shots although my body image was so bad back then that I never thought they were good. Now I look back and wonder what I was thinking! I am so glad your hospital respected your wishes! I was worried that I would give in since it was so painful for me. My back felt like it was breaking. Thank you for reading!
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 11, 2010 16:38:06 GMT -5
I love your pictures, too, Tapati. You were an adorable new mama! And as others have said, very brave... Oh thank you! I think I was more stupid than brave, though, looking back. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
|
|
|
Post by arietty on Jan 15, 2010 3:15:37 GMT -5
You look so young Tapati, in the photos. Your post took me back to my own firstborn, and your poem too. Made me very sad to read it thinking about what followed (for you and me both).
|
|
|
Post by tapati on Jan 17, 2010 6:59:13 GMT -5
You look so young Tapati, in the photos. Your post took me back to my own firstborn, and your poem too. Made me very sad to read it thinking about what followed (for you and me both). Sorry it took me so long to respond. I've been sick for quite awhile now--was getting better but now I think I have a secondary infection. It is bittersweet for me to look at those photos too. I am amazed I look so happy despite the many trials I had just undergone and still had ahead of me (but mercifully didn't know). The baby euphoria had taken over. However, nothing can take away that incredible joy we felt, huh?
|
|