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Post by tapati on Jul 5, 2009 22:17:19 GMT -5
Sea: thanks, I suspect that a lot of members didn't appreciate my viewpoint. I'm glad you and KRW could see it.
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Jul 6, 2009 21:47:32 GMT -5
Sea: thanks, I suspect that a lot of members didn't appreciate my viewpoint. I'm glad you and KRW could see it. Tapati ~ I, too, appreciate the viewpoint which you've expressed here. I do want to be careful not to judge or condemn QF women for their choices ~ having been thoroughly convinced of the QF ideals myself ~ I know that these mothers are doing the very best they can for themselves and their children~ and for their husbands ~ and for the Lord. I agree that the tone of this forum should reflect compassion and solidarity as women who, in one way or another, have all been negatively affected by "the patriarchy." "Rejoice" and "Justrebecca" have both deleted all of their posts and also their member profiles. It's too bad. I hate to see them go. As much as this situation has really sickened me ~ it is absolutely NOT Carri herself whom I am upset with ~ I have nothing but empathy for her. What has me so distressed is the ideology which teaches women not to trust in and rely upon our intuition ~ our internal GPS which, if we'd only listen, most generally steers us right. I fell for patriarchy because I liked the idea of having someone to protect me ~ if not Warren (he was, after all, blind ~ and not really able to offer much protection), than from the Lord as I remained under His "umbrella of authority" ~ I know now that I already have a built-in protector that's reliable and will keep me safe so long as I'm free to listen to and act on my own inner guidance. Patriarchy promises protection ~ but we women, if we only knew it, already have a pretty good security system. When something threatens our well-being ~ the internal alarms sound, we go on alert and put our guards up and we are prepared to defend ourselves and our children ~ but then we hear the deep, authoritative voice of the patriarchy, "False alarm, ma'am." We calm down and trust that the man (or The MAN) has everything in control and h/He will keep us safe....
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Post by tapati on Jul 6, 2009 23:36:36 GMT -5
Wow, I honestly did not mean to drive anyone away, just to tone down the rhetoric a little bit. I really do value the different points of view here. I just felt we could perhaps discuss the broader issues while not be seeming to condemn this woman who just lost her child.
I'm sorry if I phrased things so badly I made anyone here feel unwelcome.
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Jul 6, 2009 23:51:16 GMT -5
Wow, I honestly did not mean to drive anyone away, just to tone down the rhetoric a little bit. I really do value the different points of view here. I just felt we could perhaps discuss the broader issues while not be seeming to condemn this woman who just lost her child. I'm sorry if I phrased things so badly I made anyone here feel unwelcome. Oh no ~ it was not you, Tapati. I am sure that they left due to the posts which expressed anger and outrage directed at Carri and Mark ~ the very tone which your cautioned against in your remarks. I only mentioned their leaving as a way of confirming your point.
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Post by tapati on Jul 7, 2009 11:11:24 GMT -5
Oh, I see. Thanks for clarifying that.
Regarding members deleting all their posts when they go, I've seen that before and sometimes it ruins topics. We finally had to use the software to allow editing for 24 hours and no longer. If a departing member wants a few particular posts edited because it has identifying information, we'll do so on a case-by-case basis. That way the flow of conversation in any topic remains coherent and preserves it for future readers. (Legally the posts in the forum become the property of the forum owner once posted, not to publish elsewhere but to remain at the forum.)
Here the Intros are examples of the type of posts I would willingly delete for a departing member. (Though the information in them is the kind of thing we have in our profile bios, which disappears when they leave, so our software is tidy in that way.)
We also ran into the problem of how much to say about those still involved in our former lifestyle. We gave more leeway for public figures like "gurus" (heads of spiritual organizations with disciples) who were holding themselves up as being self-realized (holy). Here that might apply to people like Rev. Phelps. We figured if you hold yourself up as a leader and espouse a lifestyle, then your life is to be led as an example of that philosophy so you'd better be really practicing it and if you act like you're self-realized, you'd better be!
Being in charge of a forum is often a thankless task and you can't please everyone. One is always trying to draw a line between freedom of speech and maintaining a tone that won't drive people away. It's tough!
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Post by rosa on Jul 7, 2009 11:20:25 GMT -5
Thank you for the discussion about tone - one of the things I really value about this forum is the mix of women I would never hear from otherwise, in a place where they can be challenged. I would hope we can find a balance that is welcoming but still challenging, and not have the secular folks (like me!) present a united front that doesn't encourage input from people in or attached to the movement.
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Jul 13, 2009 8:29:36 GMT -5
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Post by grandmalou on Jul 13, 2009 15:24:41 GMT -5
WOW! That family (the picture of the Duggars) looks so happy, Vyckie! Who says a picture is worth a thousand words!
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Post by lynncamp on Jul 27, 2009 0:33:14 GMT -5
However, Carri herself knew from the beginning that this pregnancy was different and felt that there would be a problem. I remember her saying as much when she first joined the boards. After four unassisted births she felt led to have a midwife attend this one. We are our own experts on our bodies. Whether you believe it's God, intuition, fate or whatever it is so important to listen to what you hear from within. Carri is alive today because she trusted that voice. To me that is what UP/UC is all about; allowing yourself to be undisturbed by outside influences and to hear what is going on inside [/b
what about this was Carri is alive today because she trusted that voice. To me that is what UP/UC is all about; allowing yourself to be undisturbed by outside influences and to hear what is going on inside javascript:add("%20:-/") she listened to a midwife who was wrong she told her she was having twin even after an ultrasound said one baby . she could even tell the different between twins and polyhydramnios. she was 43 weeks with twins and her midwife told her everything was just great. her uterus exploded that why they took it out to stop the bleeding.javascript:add("%20> ")how is this no outside influnces
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Post by arietty on Aug 6, 2009 9:34:41 GMT -5
He looked just like all our other children. A beautiful boy who sacraficed his life for his Momma's He lived his life to sacrafice and praise the Lord and he has in his short life brought others to Christ and save lost souls leading them to his father in heaven. I am honored to have such a son who gave his life for me.Jo I don't mean to sound cruel given this woman's pain, but am I the only one who thinks this reads like a cult? I think it reads very whacked BUT.. I have read many odd things people say to deal with their grief. I don't think it is a good idea to judge people in the throes of grief trying to find some way to tell the story that comforts themselves.
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