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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 24, 2009 16:44:55 GMT -5
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Post by grandmalou on Dec 24, 2009 17:21:28 GMT -5
Some of the best Christmases ever, were when all my kids were still at home, and we used to cook a bunch of whatever we had, even if it was just a pot of beans, and invite everyone we knew. Christmas now brings me sadness, as it was right after Christmas when my mother passed away in 2002. And this year, like Vyckie said, I am snowed in and can't go 15 miles to see my dh in the nursing home. Grandkids are not around. Sandy and Jim are not either. Cats don't say much... I have a whole mess of friends in this town who have invited me to their family gatherings...and I will go to some of their houses. Some of them also have family who got snowed in somewhere...shucks, my Pastor's missionary daughter got stuck in Berlin! She is a teacher in Russia, and was on her way to Omaha. Every house in this town is within walking distance, although some really nice "be-goggled" person came by awhile ago with an Artic Cat and bladed out my driveway! I asked him who he was, and thanked him, but he would not take off his mask! LOL So I could take the car, but why? Hey, we are practically having a tropical heat wave here, with it being ABOVE ZERO! Whoo, hoo! So, I hope all of you have a really awesome Christmas, however you celebrate it, and whoever you celebrate it with! And HUG the ones ya got close to you! Give them an extra one or two for me! Let us all not get discouraged, but encourage each other, OK? Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!
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Post by angelreneetn on Dec 24, 2009 17:21:47 GMT -5
Yeah... I was just thinking that this is probably the most depressed I've been since I was alone in Tennessee.
Christmas was a HUGE deal to us. It was the best and worst time of year. I LOVED the holiday, but I hated the whole dad factor. I think right now I'd give anything to have a Christmas, though. Everyone I know is out celebrating right now, texting me and asking me to join them, but it wouldn't be fun for me. In my head, if I can't have my family for Christmas, I don't want to try and fit into anyone else's. So here I've sat, for 3 days, alone and pretty freakin sad.
I guess for everything good that happens, something must be sacrificed. I don't even know what Christmas stands for anymore, but I can certainly relate to the 'post Harold' George Bailey in Wonderful Life. This is probably why I want so badly to just get married already and have my own family to tart traditions with. I guess I just can't wait for Christmas to be over and go back to normal.
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Post by redheadedskeptic on Dec 24, 2009 17:28:32 GMT -5
aww, you guys are makin' me sad. We (and by "we", I mean "me") always made a huge deal out of Christmas, too. Last year, when I didn't have my daughter, I spent Christmas working at the nursing home, trying to forget what day it was. This year, we're supposed to go visit my parents, but there is a major storm coming in, so I don't know if we'll make it or not. I hope you gals have a good Christmas. If you get lonely, you can always come to my house!
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 24, 2009 17:28:33 GMT -5
Yeah... I was just thinking that this is probably the most depressed I've been since I was alone in Tennessee. So sorry, Angel! When the kids get home ~ we'll do something for Christmas. It won't be nearly so extravagant as we used to do ~ but then, hey ~ it won't be so much work either ~ LOL
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Post by grandmalou on Dec 24, 2009 17:38:11 GMT -5
Aw, Angel, don't do that to yourself! Go be with friends, you might learn all kinds of new and fun things right there! Yes, Christmas was a big deal...and it can be again, but hey! You are the one who has to get up in the morning and make that decision...YOU are the one who chooses what kind of day you are going to have. Git! Now go! And enjoy your new found freedom! And be the kind of blessing I know you can be! Love, Grandma
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Post by Gracious on Dec 24, 2009 18:18:23 GMT -5
Merry Christmas everyone!
Its been a privilege to be a part of such a vibrant, intelligent, loving community. Thank you all for being a source of peace, love, joy and sanity for me in this crazy crazy year.
I hope you all have a happy and safe holiday season.
Lots of love,
Grace
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 24, 2009 18:24:00 GMT -5
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 24, 2009 19:45:30 GMT -5
I feel like crying tonight. Not so much because it's Christmas, but because I'm about to experience fundamentalism flashback..oddly on the heels of me thinking the last few weeks about how in my old church other men would try to control you and tell your husband how he should be forcing you to toe the line.
We used to know a couple with six children at our old church that would descend upon our home without warning and tell us that their children were hungry, pull up a chair to our table and expect to be fed. At first I went along with it, I wasn't about to see anyone's kids go without food, but soon it turned into three or four times a week and was seriously straining our food budget. I remember one long ago Christmas Eve when they arrived with no warning to our home where I'd laid out a huge spread of canapes, cider and cookies as is our family tradition. They inhaled our feast without a thank you.
But even worse was if I expressed any reluctance to host them, make any remark about being tired from work, etc, the husband of that family would berate me for working outside of the home or pull me aside to berate me for not being a gracious submissive helpmeet for my husband. He'd also tell my husband all sorts of junk about how to control me.
I finally got rid of the freeloaders when I put my foot down that they would be as welcome as the plague at my home. Their son had stole from us and the wife had apparently used me as an alibi for an affair she was having.
Ten years pass by and I am free of the freeloading family. Tonight they call while I'm working and tell the husband they want to stop by and 'visit'. I'm looking at my loaded dining room table filled with canapes and cookies and knowing it's about to be destroyed. Woe be to the husband the second he starts trying to tell me how a 'good' Christian wife behaves.
Just told my husband I want to break my foot off in his ass for agreeing to host these very conservative freeloaders. We're not part of their world in any way shape or form. I'm anticipating not only food inhaling and lectures but being told I'm going to hell on the eve of Christ's birth.
Merry F*cking Christmas.
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Post by stampinmama on Dec 24, 2009 20:51:14 GMT -5
I'm sure you'll find all new ways to celebrate with your kids. This is all new to you with these changes in your life and sometimes these things take time. I hope you find some beautiful moments this season, even if it's just getting some of that time to yourself.
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jennie
Junior Member
Posts: 96
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Post by jennie on Dec 25, 2009 0:07:11 GMT -5
Dang, Calalu. I would be so ticked off. No one needs that on Christmas Eve. I hope you made it through that experience OK. I've had fundies try to freeload off of me. What is even up with that? And they go on and on about what a sin it is to accept help from the government.
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Post by asteli on Dec 25, 2009 3:23:44 GMT -5
Thank you for your post, Vyckie. It gives me hope that, even though this is very likely my kids' last Christmas with an intact family , we can still have good Christmases in the future. Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!
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Post by arietty on Dec 25, 2009 5:27:42 GMT -5
IT IS BOOZE.
Well, that's the case here anyway. And a lot of eating.
Merrry Xmas to NLQ!!
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Post by sargassosea on Dec 25, 2009 9:46:15 GMT -5
Yes, BOOZE helps doesn't it Wishing a little bit of happiness to everylady - wherever she may find it!
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Post by Vi on Dec 25, 2009 10:18:26 GMT -5
For the nondrinkers among us (surely I can't be the only one??) here's to a cup o' coffee, a toke, a box o' chocolates, or whatever special treat makes your holidaze brighter!
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Post by Angelia Sparrow on Dec 25, 2009 11:17:29 GMT -5
It's been interesting, since this is our second year as a mixed faith family. My Christian husband hates the season so doesn;t celebrate it religfiously.
We celebrate the religious holiday on Yule and Christmas is just the secular and fun stuff: presents, the Christmas Lasagna, movies, cookies and eggnog.
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Post by razingruth on Dec 25, 2009 12:25:28 GMT -5
Am I the only one who wants to know what happened with the plague family last night?
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kay
Junior Member
A fool hath no dialogue within himself, the first thought carrieth him without the reply of a second
Posts: 75
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Post by kay on Dec 25, 2009 12:33:04 GMT -5
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to those celebrating! Christmas has mixed feelings for me at the moment. I'm spending the day with my family, which has been bittersweet most of the time. I love them, but we've moved apart over the past few years. Not to mention, my mom is highly religious which is constantly at conflict with my atheism. My boyfriend has been off with his family, so I'm not getting to spend the holiday with him. Still trying to make the best of everything, though. Plus, there will be some yummy food to eat later today
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kay
Junior Member
A fool hath no dialogue within himself, the first thought carrieth him without the reply of a second
Posts: 75
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Post by kay on Dec 25, 2009 12:34:20 GMT -5
For the nondrinkers among us (surely I can't be the only one??) here's to a cup o' coffee, a toke, a box o' chocolates, or whatever special treat makes your holidaze brighter! Lol, I've already had my cup o' coffee this morning along with some pumpkin cookies we baked last night
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calulu
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by calulu on Dec 25, 2009 12:50:58 GMT -5
My husband is officially my hero right now! After listening to me bitch and moan about the Locust Plague family he called the father and told him it was family only on Christmas Eve. We got to eat our own sausage balls, cheese bits, cookies and egg nog without the pious interjections of the freeloaders.
Of course I like to secretly think that the Freeloaders were coming up the sidewalk while the husband and son were watching to that Cheech and Chong movie in the study and ran away in righteous fear of cannibis jokes.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I'm still in my nightgown, still haven't put the ham in the oven and still am half asleep.
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Post by tapati on Dec 25, 2009 13:24:06 GMT -5
Way back when I was a Hare Krsna I got used to not celebrating Christmas. I don't really miss doing so. It seems to me like part of my childhood, not my adult life. As a pagan I've celebrated solstice though when the kids were still with me we had a tree (pagan anyway, lol) and gifts. Once they were grown and out of the house I decided one year I didn't want the commercial present-giving extravaganza associated with my solstice celebration and checked out of that whole thing. Boy am I glad! No mall trips for me! I can be blissfully unaffected by that end of things. We have a low key Christmas dinner with Dave's family which is very different from my family of origin dinners in menu. Plus his family is very shy so they watch tv together so they don't have to really do a lot of talking. It's very odd to me coming from an extroverted family of storytellers. My family always had the following: Turkey, homemade egg noodles cooked in turkey broth, mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing, and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows. I guess someone would break out cranberry sauce but I never ate it. We never did the green bean casserole thing so I don't even know what that's like. Dave's family has pasta (they're Italian) and salad and bread and some kind of meat. Before Grandma Grassi passed away the whole family went to a restaurant, including Dave's uncles, aunts and cousins. She wisely got out of slaving away over a stove all day. On Thanksgiving a cousin hosts us all at a fancy restaurant every year. She's an amazing lady who has a very lucrative science-related job and has worked on the linear accelerator among other things. We have no Christmas decorations whatsoever though I do have white lights strung on top of my bookshelves behind my blue glass and taped on the wall around a statue of my Goddess. I keep them up all year long.
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Post by tapati on Dec 25, 2009 13:26:18 GMT -5
For the nondrinkers among us (surely I can't be the only one??) here's to a cup o' coffee, a toke, a box o' chocolates, or whatever special treat makes your holidaze brighter! My family of origin wasn't big on drinking and I rarely saw them do so. It wasn't a part of our holiday celebration and I never even knew eggnog was supposed to be spiked. I rarely drink now, and not for social occasions as a rule. I prefer to be clear-headed when I try to talk to people.
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Post by coleslaw on Dec 25, 2009 13:35:40 GMT -5
We're spending Christmas with my husband's sister's family. They are Republicans and brother-in-law, his son-in-law, and son (not here) are all doctors, so you can imagine what the topic of discussion has been around here (hint, not the birth of Jesus).
I'm trying to lay low.
They are nice people, we just have different political views and they aren't really interested in knowing mine.
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Post by tapati on Dec 25, 2009 13:43:08 GMT -5
Yeah... I was just thinking that this is probably the most depressed I've been since I was alone in Tennessee. Christmas was a HUGE deal to us. It was the best and worst time of year. I LOVED the holiday, but I hated the whole dad factor. I think right now I'd give anything to have a Christmas, though. Everyone I know is out celebrating right now, texting me and asking me to join them, but it wouldn't be fun for me. In my head, if I can't have my family for Christmas, I don't want to try and fit into anyone else's. So here I've sat, for 3 days, alone and pretty freakin sad. I guess for everything good that happens, something must be sacrificed. I don't even know what Christmas stands for anymore, but I can certainly relate to the 'post Harold' George Bailey in Wonderful Life. This is probably why I want so badly to just get married already and have my own family to tart traditions with. I guess I just can't wait for Christmas to be over and go back to normal. I don't think you have to wait until you have your own family to start making your own traditions and putting some thought into what you want to keep and what you want to leave behind (besides your stepfather). Next year I suggest you do take your friends up on their offers and get a chance to see how others celebrate and what you might like or dislike about it. That will give you a feel for how you want to celebrate in the future. As a young mom I bought this book years ago (still available used, link below) called Rituals For Our Times by Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts. The subtitle is Celebrating, Healing and Changing Our Lives and Our Relationships. I can't recommend this book enough for people blending traditions from families or going through changes in their lives. I've read it many times and used the very sensible advice to create or change my own family traditions over the years. It's enabled me to be flexible and really think about the meaning and purpose behind the rituals. The examples in the book are very relevant to our multi-cultural society. There are even some good rituals for those who are divorced or blending new families together and advice on how to handle a death in the family as it affects gatherings. I suspect you'd get a lot out of this book, Angel. www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0765701561/ref=tmm_pap_used_olp_sr?ie=UTF8&condition=usedMaybe you can even find it in the library. Ultimately, you are in charge of your life and your experiences now. You are no longer a captive of family dynamics. Take back your power to create your own experience, whether solo or in relation to family or friends. This holiday doesn't have to be about the big family gathering if that's not available every year (as your siblings visit their dad). There are lots of fun and special things you can do alone or with friends. You can even go serve out food in a soup kitchen and help others enjoy their holiday. You can indulge in your favorite lazy day activities (mine are curling up with a great book and a cup of tea or watching a marathon of my favorite show on DVD or listening to good music or going on a nature walk). You don't have to buy in to the notion that alone=depressing. Alone can equal total control over your experience, control that has been lacking for most of your life. Enjoy taking back your power! {{{hugs}}}
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Post by Vi on Dec 25, 2009 15:02:11 GMT -5
good on you for expressing your feelings, and husband for abiding by your wishes for your own home. House guests should always be wanted by both spouses, and nobody should be made to feel their space is being invaded imho. glad your christmas turned out good.
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