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Post by tapati on Oct 30, 2009 22:07:48 GMT -5
Why Body Image Matters
My involvement with the issue of body image came out of my encounter with the size acceptance movement in the late 1980s. I was fortunate enough to meet Ruah Bull, a body image educator. I had never heard of such a thing but soon I was exposed to her classes at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California. She had studied with body image guru Marcia Hutchinson and had joined with other large women to form a radical group that occasionally defaced billboards with thin models and went out to eat together in public—always a radical act for a large woman. They encouraged each other to wear sexy clothing and supported each other’s efforts to throw off inhibitions that they’d absorbed in our looksist society.
I soon noticed that fat women weren’t the only ones flocking to these body image classes. It seemed that every woman, from tall to short, fat to thin, temporarily able-bodied or women with disabilities, older women, women of different races and ethnic groups—every one found something wrong with her body. Women who looked perfect to me, women in bodies I would have been happy to trade for, were complaining about their bodies and particular features. Some actively hated their bodies. Some felt better about their body but were struggling with the way people judged it. I began to realize that it was a rare woman in my society that loved her body.
By now this is no longer a secret. Our cosmetics, weight loss and plastic surgery industries are booming. Poor body image has spread to men, as actors and male models are now expected to have six pack abs and rippling muscles. Men are even pressured to remove their body hair—something that used to apply only to women. The body-building look has infiltrated the mainstream.
Poor body image has been exported like much of American culture. As our movies and TV shows reach around the globe, so too does the impossibly narrow standard of beauty. While some progress has been made in combating this plague of self hatred, it is clearly an ongoing struggle.
In my work with The Body Image Task Force in the early 90s, we began to expand our classes and discussions to include body image issues other than weight and the response was enthusiastically overwhelming. Women of color had been waiting for someone to open a conversation about the pressures they faced trying to feel good in a society with a blonde, blue-eyed, straight-haired ideal. Asian women were tired of the “exotic” label and the pressure to “do something” about their eyes. Women with disabilities were also weary of being viewed as “less than” or asexual, and struggle for visibility. Older women found that they, too, became invisible and completely disregarded as beautiful and sexual beings. Naturally thin women were tired of being called anorexic. Transgendered people were struggling to find a way to make the outside match the way they felt inside. Queer people had their own set of body image issues, some similar to others and some unique to queer identities. Everywhere we encountered issues that had not been addressed.
It is past time for those concerned with body image to address all of those issues and more. It is my belief that as long as women suffer low self esteem connected with body image we will limit our lives in many ways. We might stay too long in that abusive relationship—told daily that no one else would want us. We might not have the confidence to put ourselves forward at work and push for advancement. Preoccupied with our perceived flaws we might waste precious time and money trying to re-make our bodies and faces into something we believe is more acceptable. Some will even develop an addiction to plastic surgery or refuse to be seen—ever—without make-up. When we hate our body, we may find ourselves refusing to take good care of it--to the detriment of our physical and psychological health.
Please join us in the next few days on a journey towards a more positive body image. There will be exercises and a drawing among participants for the winner’s choice of either Self-Esteem Comes in all Sizes: How to be Happy and Healthy at Your Natural Weight by Carol A. Johnson, MA, or Bodylove: Learning to Like Our Looks and Ourselves by Rita Freedman, Ph.D.
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 2:08:01 GMT -5
Erma Bombeck--Here's my morning ritual. I open a sleepy eye, take one horrified look at my reflection in the mirror and then repeat with conviction: "I'm me and I'm wonderful. Because God doesn't make junk."
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Hillary
Full Member
"Quivering Daughters ~ Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy" Now Available!
Posts: 129
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Post by Hillary on Nov 1, 2009 20:18:29 GMT -5
What a crucial topic. I look forward to reading the contributions here!
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Post by xara on Nov 1, 2009 22:34:44 GMT -5
As a large woman, Candye Kane's music really helped me. She is a big woman and is totally comfortable with her body.
It helped me have the courage to dance in public.
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 22:58:32 GMT -5
As a large woman, Candye Kane's music really helped me. She is a big woman and is totally comfortable with her body. It helped me have the courage to dance in public. Candye Kane is amazing; we got to see her once. Yes I highly recommend connecting in this way with women who inspire your own positive body image.
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Post by xara on Nov 1, 2009 23:00:55 GMT -5
I got to see her in concert twice this year. Once in the last week. It was part of my birthday present from my boyfriend. She has survived pancreatic cancer and has lost about a hundred pounds, but she still puts on a great show and her guitarist Laura Chavez is AMAZING.
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Post by tapati on Nov 1, 2009 23:33:39 GMT -5
From Seventeen magazine www.seventeen.com/health-sex-fitness/body-types/body-peace-pledge?redir=bodypeaceThe Body Peace Treaty: * Remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow even if I had one too many slices of pizza or an extra scoop of ice cream tonight. * Never blame my body for the bad day I'm having. * Stop joining in when my friends compare and trash their own bodies. * Never allow a dirty look from someone else to influence how I feel about my appearance. * Quit judging a person solely by how his or her body looks — even if it seems harmless — because I'd never want anyone to do that to me. * Notice all the amazing things my body is doing for me every moment I walk, talk, think, breathe... * Quiet that negative little voice in my head when it starts to say mean things about my body that I'd never tolerate anyone else saying about me. * Remind myself that what you see isn't always what you get on TV and in ads — it takes a lot of airbrushing, dieting, money, and work to look like that. * Remember that even the girl who I'd swap bodies with in a minute has something about her looks that she hates. * Respect my body by feeding it well, working up a sweat when it needs it, and knowing when to give it a break. * Realize that the mirror can reflect only what's on the surface of me, not who I am inside. * Know that I'm already beautiful just the way I am.
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Post by xara on Nov 1, 2009 23:42:17 GMT -5
I remember reading a quote somewhere but I don't remember who said it. It was basically that there are several billion women in the world who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do.
No one looks perfect. Love who you are.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 0:01:37 GMT -5
I remember reading a quote somewhere but I don't remember who said it. It was basically that there are several billion women in the world who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do. No one looks perfect. Love who you are. That's why one of my prescriptions is to find pictures of women who are more like you (plus a variety) and put them on your walls so that all you see isn't those 8 or so women.
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 2:52:36 GMT -5
Recovery From Crash Dieting
Years ago as part of my body image work I went on a "recovery from dieting" program. My relationship with food was a mess after years of crash dieting and growing up in a family of crash dieters. Foods were all divided into strict categories of good and bad, and I associated the "good" foods with starvation diets I'd been on, and the punishment and deprivation I'd experienced. I beat myself up mentally for wanting or enjoying the "bad" foods, foods I now can enjoy in moderation.
The rules were simple:
1. Eat only when hungry.
This was mostly a challenge of recognizing when I was hungry and eating right away. I found I was more likely to go past that point and only eat when I was starving, 6-8 hours following the last meal.
2. Eat exactly what you want.
3. Eat until you are full and then stop.
This really did a lot for me. First of all, I learned to get more in tune with my hunger and satiety signals. For someone who had dieted since I was 9 years old, I had long since lost consciousness of my body's cues. Dieting sets you up for eating disorders precisely by disconnecting from these cues and divorcing eating from hunger alone.
Secondly, I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted. It was the rule! For the first time in my life I wasn't eating according to some rigid code or else violating that code and hating myself for it. At first yes, I went for the forbidden foods. After a couple of months of this I started to grab a candy bar one day, took a look at it, and decided that no, I didn't really want that right now.
I began enjoying the "good" foods once again, now that they didn't mean depriving myself of the forbidden or "bad" foods.
I relaxed around portions of snacks because I wasn't merely having a binge between harsh diets. I could have this stuff any time I wanted, so I didn't need to scarf it down like someone was going to snatch it away from me if I didn't eat every bite.
As my husband could tell you, snack foods generally last awhile around me now and I don't eat whole bags of them in a sitting.
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Post by grandmalou on Nov 2, 2009 6:28:15 GMT -5
Can't remember where, but I once read that the Cherokee people were extemely proud of their good looks...to the point that when scarlet fever ran through their tribe, some of them who had sores all over, actually killed themselves! So worrying about body image is certainly nothing new. I am part Cherokee. As a young girl, I often heard people tell my mother that she looked just like Elizabeth Taylor, and she would just get so pleased about that comment, she would about pee her pants! Mom was a total narcissist. As a teen, learning about make-up and such stuff, she would often tell me..."You have to suffer for beauty"... Like I'd be shaving my legs, plucking my eyebrows, etc., and wonder...WHY do we have to suffer for beauty? What a load of crap! And I rebelled against the whole 'beautiful' thingy. Got me an attitude...if folks don't like the way I look, well, PHHHT! There is a Christian comedian woman, whose name escapes me at the moment (she did "The Mom Song") who wears these outrageous big belts around her middle...she says..."If you can't lose it, decorate it!" LOL ;D ;D
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 7:43:38 GMT -5
Can't remember where, but I once read that the Cherokee people were extemely proud of their good looks...to the point that when scarlet fever ran through their tribe, some of them who had sores all over, actually killed themselves! So worrying about body image is certainly nothing new. No, I'm sure it's as old as humanity. Every culture had a beauty standard. But modern culture is the first to basically say everyone can and should meet it, even if they endure surgery to do so! It used to be you were just unfortunate but people remarked on your good personality etc. Now you're just supposed to feel like a loser. That's hysterical! What a good attitude! Thanks for posting, Grandmalou, you have such a good take on all of this. I appreciate the history of your tribe and their own body image struggles. There's always something, isn't there?
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Post by tapati on Nov 2, 2009 7:44:57 GMT -5
Hi, everyone, I am on a night owl schedule so I'll be back in early afternoon, Pacific time to answer your questions and read your comments. Do something nice for your body today!
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Post by aussiemama on Nov 2, 2009 8:54:12 GMT -5
I LOVE the comment about "if you can't lose it, decorate it!" How awesome. Quite often I get to feeling a little depressed about my body. When I got married 3 years ago, I was a size 8 or 10 and my body had a very different shape. Now, I've had 3 children in that time, and my body isn't like that anymore. My breasts are saggy (gotta love push up bras...*I* like them), and I have a big flabby belly, and I'm a size 14/16. Actually to tell the truth, I LOVE my new clothing size because I honestly believe I am a healthier size now. When I was a size 8 I was too skinny and unhealthy. My husband likes my new curves very much. I am getting used to them and learning to accent them. I believe in dressing modestly, and I am skirts only by my own personal choice, but I don't believe in sack dresses. I buy trendy, fashionable skirts and shirts to show off what I want to show off and minimize what I'm not so happy about. By the way, this is the first time, pretty much in my whole life, that I am happy about my clothes and how they look on me. I believe clothing is an expression of who we are. My husband is glad that I am feeling freedom of expression in this area (he's the one paying for them, I'm a stay at home mom lol). While I believe in covering up, I also believe in accenting. I like long hair too and think it suits me better than short, but it's looking shaggy right now and I can't afford a trim. Some time soon I hope. I am getting used to my new body and embracing it because I know I'm so much healthier and now look like a woman, not a teenager. However, I'm 24, most of the girls I know don't have a mama body yet.
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Post by lattelaura on Nov 2, 2009 19:36:55 GMT -5
Thank you for tackling this topic, Tapati. Reading through this has been very enlightening and helpful to me personally. You are very wise on this topic!
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Post by tapati on Nov 3, 2009 3:43:46 GMT -5
Thank you for tackling this topic, Tapati. Reading through this has been very enlightening and helpful to me personally. You are very wise on this topic! Thank you, actually I'm learning as much as I teach, which is always how these classes go. I think you all are off to a great start talking to each other about this and it can be a great source of support. I was regretting that we couldn't easily capture the camaraderie of a body image workshop where everyone is present together and discussions can take place, but I do see it happening here and I'm very glad. Really I'm just passing on what I've learned from others, particularly my mentor, Ruah Bull.
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Post by tapati on Nov 3, 2009 15:03:55 GMT -5
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Post by tapati on Nov 4, 2009 0:17:37 GMT -5
Today I had to nurse a migraine so some of the things I had planned to post, resources and such, got derailed. I will be posting them tomorrow.
I hope you all can talk about the assignments as you work with them and continue asking your questions!
Happy Body Image!
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Post by tapati on Nov 4, 2009 4:40:05 GMT -5
Body Image Playlist
Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
Mahbootay by Laura Love
Video by Indie Arie
Girl Next Door and Imperfection by Saving Jane
At Seventeen by Janis Ian
Why do you love me? or Bleed like me Garbage
Crazy by Simple Plan
Unpretty by TLC
Perfectly Flawed by Otep
Fat Boy by Bizarre
Baby Got Back by Sir Mixalot (ok, yes this is funny but those of us with large butts were really happy to have a veritable anthem!)
Please add titles!
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Post by tapati on Nov 4, 2009 4:41:59 GMT -5
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman
Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
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Post by tapati on Nov 5, 2009 8:44:27 GMT -5
Body Image Solutions by Tapati McDaniels
Taking Care of Ourselves
1) Make a list of ten things you would do if you really loved your body. Pick one and start doing it now. As you progress you can choose other things from the list. This is an especially powerful exercise for those women who have been waiting to do nearly everything "until I lose those pounds."
2) Create a support system of friends who support you in loving the body you have now. You may find that your circle of friends shifts as you seek out people who are supportive and leave behind people who won't accept your limits on negative body talk or diet propaganda. This requires a commitment to yourself--you realize that you deserve acceptance and won't settle for less.
3) Surround yourself in your own space with positive images of women in various sizes, colors and shapes. This reminds you that real women represent a delightful variety, not the narrow range shown on TV. Pay special attention to images that resemble your own body type. An inexpensive way to do this is to purchase cards at a book store or stationery store with pictures from art of the past and present.
4) Talk back to your TV! Don't passively let those images sink into your brain, contradict them. This works for sexism of all kinds as well as racism and other forms of oppression. Instead of lapsing into a hypnotic state in which you accept everything, consciously reject the ads and the fat jokes.
5) Write letters to networks if something particularly offends you. This can be as simple as a post card, which you have pre-stamped and ready to send so you can act immediately. Past experience has shown that this is highly effective.
6) Write a letter to your body. This may sound silly, but for many women this has been the first time they ever communicated with their body in a way that didn't involve simply responding to pain. This also allows you to stop viewing your body as an object that you must control, instead seeing her as a person you are becoming friends with.
7) Insist on informed consent if you do decide to diet or receive plastic surgery. Find out just what the risks are and make a conscious choice. You deserve access to this information and doctors or diet program providers should be willing to give it to you. If they don't, ask your self what they are hiding.
Eight) Be willing to seek information on your own and continue to attend workshops or events that support you in your effort to take care of yourself. Healing from negative body image is a long process and will require reinforcement and work in many different ways.
9) Set limits with critical people, including relatives. You aren't stuck with relatives who persist in verbally abusing you--you have the right to limit their access to you, cut it off totally, or build a support system to help you deal with rare visits. You can also insist on having no diet talk in a workplace or other shared environment. You can have supportive friends do role plays with you to practice setting limits.
10) Read books on body image. In particular, Marcia Hutchinson's book Transforming Body Image is filled with exercises and guided fantasies that have worked well for other women.
11) Be patient with yourself and realize that healing your relationship with your body takes time. Don't see this as one more thing you must do perfectly.
Challenging the Standards
1) Commit to changing the narrow standards so every woman can feel good about her body. When we fight for something, we value it more, so this also has an immediate impact on our self esteem.
2) Promote legislation that insures our access to quality health care and informed consent, as well as quality control or licensing for people who sell diets or other weight loss methods.
3) Build alliances with others who are oppressed, and be a good ally yourself by challenging offensive comments or jokes.
4) Join in political action, pickets, boycotts, etc., that fight the hold of the diet industry, media and others who continue to thrive on our negative body image.
5) Support the addition of height and weight to employment non-discrimination policies.
6) Write! Write letters, essays, novels that challenge the Harlequin stereotype, short stories...we need new images to replace the old, new myths to live by. Those who have the talent, use it!
7) Like the personal changes, political change takes time and patience. Over 100 years ago, women first gained access to higher education. Now we take for granted our right to go to college. Change does happen, but not without lots of time and hard work. Avoid burnout, pick a level of political action that you are comfortable with and can sustain over a long period, rather than short, intense involvement that exhausts you. Set limits with coworkers in any activist group you join, so that you don't end up carrying the show. If you can stuff envelopes once a month, fine, that's preferable to two months of overwork followed by years of avoiding any involvement at all. If a lot of people do a little work we will do much better than if a few chronically tired people try to do it all. If you can't give time, give money.
Eight) Visualize the society we want to create. It is this vision that will sustain you as you make both personal and political changes.
Imagine a world in which no young woman feels she must diet, or vomit, herself thin. Imagine a world without anorexia. Imagine a world in which no woman ever feels guilty about enjoying food (and every woman has enough food for herself and her family). Imagine a world in which beauty contests are obsolete, and instead scholarship awar4ds are based on intelligence and accomplishment. Imagine a world in which women's bodies are never compared to each other or judged on their size, color, features, hair, disabilities or height, but instead are appreciated on their own merits. Imagine a world in which every woman enjoys movement for its own sake rather than as a weight loss method, and are free to wear bathing suits in public--where they are admired rather than ridiculed. Imagine a world in which starvation replaces eating as a sin. Imagine a world in which you do not rank your body as you enter a room full of women. Imagine stomach stapling being perceived with the same horrified reaction that stories of torture provoke. Someday we shall tell stories to our granddaughters that they will hardly believe, just as we can hardly believe that women couldn't vote, own property or attend college.
ONCE YOU'VE IMAGINED THIS NEW WORLD, CREATE IT!
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Post by tapati on Nov 5, 2009 9:51:06 GMT -5
Some books on Fat Acceptance: uppitywomen.net/fatbooks.htmlAdditional body image related titles (I haven't read every one but did look at reviews and descriptions): Self-Esteem Comes in all Sizes: How to be Happy and Healthy at Your Natural Weight by Carol A. Johnson, MA. Bodylove: Learning to Like Our Looks and Ourselves by Rita Freedman, Ph.D. Transforming Body Image: Learning to Love the Body You Have by Marcia Germaine Hutchinson The Body Image Workbook: An Eight-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks by Thomas F. Cash The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg Picture Perfect: What You Need to Feel Better About Your Body by Jill Zimmerman Rutledge M.S.W. LCSW Body Outlaws: Rewriting the Rules of Beauty and Body Image (Live Girls) by Ophira Edut and Rebecca Walker The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf No Body's Perfect: Stories by Teens about Body Image, Self-Acceptance, and the Search for Identity by Kimberly Kirberger Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds from Now by Jessica Weiner Killing the Indian Maiden: Images of Native American Women in Film by M. Elise Marubbio Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image, and Growing Up Latina by Rosie Molinary Hair Raising: Beauty, Culture, and African American Women by Noliwe M. Rooks www.goodhairmovie.net/site/ The movie by Chris Rock! Black America, Body Beautiful: How the African American Image is Changing Fashion, Fitness, and Other Industries by Eric J. Bailey Hungry for More: A Keeping-it-Real Guide for Black Women on Weight and Body Image by Robyn McGee and M.D. Joycelyn M. Elders M.D. Looking Good: Male Body Image in Modern America by Lynne Luciano Living Large: A Big Man's Ideas on Weight, Success, and Acceptance by Michael S. Berman and Laurence Shames The Jewish Body (Jewish Encounters) by Melvin Konner Images of the Human Body (Agile Rabbit Editions S.) by Pepin Press This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes by Rosanne Olson Looking Queer: Body Image and Identity in Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, and Transgender Communities by Dawn Atkins The Good Body by Eve Ensler Looking Good: College Women and Body Image, 1875-1930 (Gender Relations in the American Experience) by Margaret A. Lowe Real Kids Come in All Sizes: Ten Essential Lessons to Build Your Child's Body Esteem by Kathy Kater For Keeps: Women Tell the Truth About Their Bodies, Growing Older, and Acceptance by Victoria Zackheim The Body Sacred by Dianne Sylvan (a pagan perspective) Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body by Kate Harding The Expressive Body in Life, Art, and Therapy: Working with Movement, Metaphor and Meaning (Paperback) ~ Daria Halprin (not directly about body image but a way to work with it in movement) Fat Poets Speak: Voices of the Fat Poets' Society by Kathy Barron, Anne S. Kaplan, Corinna Makris, and Lesleigh J. Owen The Diet Survivor's Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care by Judith Matz and Ellen Frankel Fat Chicks Rule!: How To Survive in a Thin-Centric World by Lara Frater (Paperback - Jun 1, 2005) (I love this book!) Sewing for Plus Sizes: Creating Clothes that Fit and Flatter by Barbara Deckert (Paperback - Mar 15, 2002) DVD: Yoga: Just My Size With Megan Garcia VHS: Yoga for Round Bodies with Genia Pauli Haddon, Linda DeMarco (Vol 1 and 2) (I've used these, they are good, solid guides though the production is low budget.) Great Shape: The First Fitness Guide For Large Women by Pat Lyons (classic) Women En Large:Images of Fat Nudes Photographs by Laurie Toby Edison,Text by Debbie Notkin Finally, check this out--I haven't looked through all of them but it's an overview of fat women in art with many links: www.dimensionsmagazine.com/links/art_and_culture.htmland
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Post by Vyckie D. Garrison on Dec 15, 2009 0:03:21 GMT -5
I really hate it that all this awesome Body Image material of Tapati's got sort of buried in all the overwhelming NLQ Carnival activity. I think it's excellent information and so I asked Tapati for permission to highlight her posts on the NLQ blog. So ~ for the rest of this week (maybe longer as I don't want to rush through), No Longer Quivering is featuring Tapati's Body Image Workshop. For those of you who (like me) missed out on participating when Tapati originally posted her workshop material ~ here's the slow motion replay! Thank you so much, Tapati for bringing this valuable discussion and all your experience and knowledge of the topic to NLQ. :: applauds Tapati ::
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Post by tapati on Dec 15, 2009 1:53:22 GMT -5
If you scroll up a bit in this topic, Body Image Solutions can be a post all on its own. Thanks, Vyckie, I believe that the issue of poor body image is often linked to physical, verbal and emotional abuse because it contributes to low self esteem and is often a target of abusers for that reason. If they can make you think you're ugly and no other man would want you, it's easier to keep you feeling dependent on them. I know it was a factor in my own marriage.
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Post by philosophia on Dec 15, 2009 2:51:51 GMT -5
I think this is an appropriate topic for women who have suffered any type of emotional abuse. I had a horrible self-image, which was reflected back to me in photographs and the mirror. A cycle of "who is that horrid woman" and I would feel worse! It grew and grew!
After a few months of encouragement and building up from friends who are away from the situation but know "me", I actually began to look and feel different. I began doing things that made me happy. I began to get more energy.
One day I woke up and looked in the mirror and thought, "Hey, wow!" I was smiling. My daughter looked up at me and said "Mommy, you are beautiful!" And I was! I could never remember feeling that way about myself my entire life!
If you look at the photos of Vyckie, I think you can see that as well. It is transformative, going from being a prisoner to taking charge of your destiny. Countless people have told me that I look like an entirely different person. (In a good way.)
:-)
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